A Matter of Preference...

I’ve been planning on making this topic for a while now. When I say “a matter of preference,” I’m speaking of your personal thoughts on dating partners. For those of you already married or in a serious relationship, try to think of a world where your partner meets some of the following standards. :wink:

What if you had someone with a personality that was perfect for you. They would always be faithful, laugh at your jokes, not pressure you into anything you didn’t want to do. The only thing is they look sort of… ‘different.’ A guy could be extremely skinny, short, shy, nerdy, an oddball, ext. A girl could be flat chested, have hairy legs, play sports, look like a guy, whatever. Maybe that special someone would be handicapped in a certain way, or have a serious illness like AIDS.

The question is: would you still love them the same? Would you even give them a chance at a date, or be too embarrassed to be seen in public with them? Remember, this person would have the most fantastic personality in the world. (when put to your standards at least) And they would like you. You’re 100% sure that they would never cheat or grow bored with you, so you’d have security as well.

I would like to know this because I know a few people exactly like this. Dorky guys, hairy girls, and they seem like a really great bunch that doesn’t get the respect they deserve. As long as I like my mate’s personality, I don’t care what they look like really. :smile:

Your thoughts?

I once dated a girl with a shining personality, she made me feel great about myself and we had loads of fun together. Her name was Dena. We were very different. I’m white and short for a guy (5ft 5in) and skinny (118 lbs)

She was black, tall (about 5ft 7in), flat chested, skinny (about 120lbs) and she had diabetes. We went together everywhere. We dated for about 2 years. Sadly, she died about 1 year before I moved away. Her doctor prescribed her the wrong medication and she had a reaction. That would be about 10 years ago now.

I dont see anything wrong with dating anyone who is differant from myself. Beside most of the girls I know who you would call “perfect” in looks are very selfish, and like to attract attention to themselves for multiple reasons. I dated a girl like that and no matter what I did or said I just could’nt please her.

In my book, your personality makes you good looking or ugly, not your looks.

I’d be lying if I said looks didn’t matter to me. They do. I think if someone came along as you described above, with the most wonderful personality, we’d be the very best of friends but no more. I just don’t feel attracted to people who aren’t good-looking. I don’t mean to be superficial, but I honestly can’t help it. They don’t have to be ‘perfect’, but there’s a certain level that guys need to meet before I find them attractive (as in potential boyfriend material).

But likewise, I’m not attracted to gorgeous guys with bad personalities, either. Having a bad personality is equally as off-putting as not looking attractive. In fact, come to think of it, there really aren’t all that many guys I’d ever consider going out with, because so few have both a lovely personality and good looks.

Edit: Mind you, my idea of good looks isn’t always the conventional one - I often see men as being ugly when everyone else thinks they’re great, or vice-versa.

Same as Stormthunder (just with girls instead of boys :cool: )

I wouldn`t go dating someone that ugly as you say .
Theres no need for barbiedolls , but…
It gets too crazy .

How do you define a good personality ?

I second that, mi amigo! There are actually a lot of people that I think are ugly/unattractive because they have a lousy personality. (while most other people would find them breathtaking) Your story is both great and sad, I’m sorry to hear the end of it. Remember though: A death to one thing is the birth of another. :wink:

Both of our minds must work differently than others… definitely a good thing. :cool:

As I wrote in my first post, someone you get along with really well. They’d be funny, laugh at your jokes, be really nice, ext. Basically just really great people who look differently.


I think that we’d probably have to start as friends. A girl’s personality means more than anything else to me, but you usually don’t see a person’s personality until you get to know them. If we were good friends, and I began to notice that we were pretty much perfect for each other, had a real connection, etc., I’d go for it, regardless of looks. I think that if her personality fit me perfectly, I’d see the person as beautiful no matter what they look like–and like Stormthunder said, the way I see beauty is pretty different from a lot of other people. But I think I’d have to know the girl first, instead of instantly becoming attracted to the person. The plus side of this is, you know that it isn’t just some superficial infatuation.

Exactly Kash, 100% true for me too. :ok:

Ya, I’ve had my fair share of those! Oh well… :tongue:

Both matter.The one of the main thing that makes me attracted to a woman is that she is one.This comes from a personality but has its reflection on looks.Strong,independant,fighters,- not all of them but great part of them will have it written on their looks.I wouldnt date them because i consider such features as manly and im not interested in boys regardless of how big their breasts can be.
Feminine character will have it reflection in feminine looks,and im not only talking mini skirts(though they count too:).In my opinion being woman(same to men) obliges in a way and it can be also seen in the way she dresses and she looks.
And i tend to like those who let me feel a man with them- and looks are the piece that is maybe small but important- if she wears trousers 2 sizes bigger and military boots im out.Seeing her in nice skirt and classy highheels tells me a lot about her personality- everyone likes to see an effort made.Good word- effort,says it best.

Yeah, but that’s true for only some people. Take into account my one friend, JS: She wears baggy clothes, is hairy, plays sports, does all this stuff to prove a point. Surprisingly she’s gotten asked out by a lot of guys… and rejected a lot of them.

You would think that someone who looks like that wouldn’t be picky, and yet she is. If anyone ever brings it up, she tells them that it assures that she’ll end up marrying a good guy, not someone who’s just after her body.

I guess she’s got a point… you’d really have to like the personality first. (unless you’ve got a thing for chicks who look like guys :razz: ) Nice plan I’d say, and I suppose it’s working if people like her. JS is a good friend of mine, that’s why I brought the subject up.

One girl in my class , she is nice to look at to say it that way.

Nice body , BUT :

She laughs . ALL the time !

Annoying laughter and not good perconality …

The laughter I could put up with, but if the personality isn’t good, then it ain’t gonna happen. :wink: