felt lucid twice

I’ve been attempting lucid dreaming and keeping a dream journal faithfully since august 11th. On august 14th I had a break-through of sorts. I had awakened on saturday morning and immediately went back to sleep. I was half-dreaming. I started picturing a place filled with golden-grass. I can’t remember if it was my mind creating a kind of half-dream or if I consciously conjured the image up to become more lucid. I tried to smell the air, and soon it became real. Suddenly I saw a lamp in a tiny spot of light in front of me. The spot grew and I was looking up at a white ceiling with a single bulb in a fixture turned off, as if I was looking up at it from a bed. There was a buzzing sound in my ears and a feeling similar to trying to clear water out of your ears after getting out of the swimming pool. I got excited and tried to wake up but couldn’t right away. The room around me seemed to shake and blur and everything went dark and I woke up.

Since then I had many dreams, but none of them were lucid. It’s as if I know I’m dreaming but I don’t become lucid. I’m aware of the dream but I accept the reality of it and live in it as I would in waking life.

The second time I had another break-through was on the 25th. I woke up at 5:30 am and started falling asleep again at 6:30. I started doing the MILD technique. My mind tried to wonder but I focused and pretended to become lucid in a number of previous non-lucid dreams. I remember random imagery, the last one being a circle of light again. This time it was slightly to my upper-right and inside it was a desk cluttered with books and a cordless phone on top of them. It felt like I was looking down at a desk. Before the circle could enlarge and take up my entire vision, I grew too excited and came out of it.

What should be my approach now? I’ve lost some motivation. I rarely do reality checks any more but I still write down my dreams every morning. I think I will give the reality checking in waking life approach another chance.

Whatever you do, don’t lose your motivation! The buzzing you experienced was just the onset of sleep paralysis, and you were right on the verge of having a full lucid dream. That means that whatever you were doing was working, and that should encourage you to keep going - not give up. These things take constant practice and you will find that it gets easier and easier, but only if you keep putting in the effort!