A couple nights ago I had my first Major experience with Lucid Dreaming. I had been trying to get it right for months, but I typically remained lucid only for a short period of time before falling back into a normal dream sequence. Two nights ago I finally got it right. I was lucid for what felt like a couple hours of dream time.
Long story short, I don’t think I was ready. I scared myself in my dream and woke up with sleep paralysis for the first time ever. I fought off Old Hag for the most part. I definitely thought I felt a presence, but it was not overwhelmingly scary at the time. I just wanted to get up more than anything. After a while I was able to move my finger then I quickly broke the trance and sat up.
It was a pretty generic experience I guess, but it still was creepy at the time. I didn’t go back to sleep. I sat in my bed and watched Clerks on DVD. It’s a good movie to keep your mind off of stuff you don’t want to think about. (37! HAHAHA!)
At the time I didn’t think much of it, but as nightfall came last night, I became very jittery. For the first time in months I didn’t keep out my journal and didn’t want to dream. Hell, I didn’t want to sleep. I lay in my bed and watched more comedies on my TV, pushing back the sleep timer in half hour increments over and over again.
Then I woke up.
My being freaked out at sleep paralysis hasn’t receded yet, if anything it only gets worse. I scare easily. Too easily. I scare at stupid shit. Like Doom 2. No one should be scared of that.
Anyhoo, I’ve had some time to look at my situation objectively for about 24 hours, and I decided I am in no mental condition to lucid dream. I can’t block out something I don’t want to see in my mind. I can’t tell myself “it’s all just a dream.” And I’ve read many things here to the effect of “if you’re scared of something while you dream, you’ll dream about it.” I don’t think it’s worth the risk. Yet.
I decided that I am going to try and deal with my immature fears. I figure if I can face the fears I know I am scared of, it will be easier for me to deal with my unknown fears, which seems to be the source of Old Hag. Not to blow it out of proportion like people are prone to do, but I want to KNOW I can face it before I try again.
I posted this topic to get people’s thoughts on this specific approach. Does anyone have any recommendation for getting over your fears? I can only watch Clerks so much, and I need to sleep. Thanks for the help.