These make me laugh so much!
I browsed through my own DJ a bit.
[ND]Teacher: writes a U and a W on the blackboard “I absolutely do not want that you write these two letters next to each other!”
All students wonder why.
I received a 9.7 for a test at school.
Teacher: “That’s what you get with a Greek father!”
Me: “… My father is English.”
Teacher: “Yeah, yeah, that doesn’t matter.”
I’m looking at a tree. At the ends of the branches grow letters.
Me: “Look, that tree is written in Arial.”
A couple of men are digging a very deep trench.
Someone asks: “How long is this trench going to be?”
Man: “Not as long as that tunnel from France to England.”
A dream about Avatar.
Aang: “No, no, I’m the avatar, because I have an arrow on my head!”
Aang shaves his hair off, but he doesn’t have an arrow on his head. He’s disappointed and starts looking for his arrow in the desert.
A man tries to freeze water in a swimming pool so I freeze to death.
Me: “No, please don’t do it, you’ve got such a nice swimming pool!”
I manage to convince him.
Man: “All right, but next time I WILL freeze you!”
I think: Then I won’t come next time!
A traffic sign: “Walk to the other side to see what’s on this sign.”
I look at the ground. “Eating disorder” is written on it in big green letters.
I’m walking up the stairs and I see that my father is hanging upside down on the balustrade.
Me: “Isn’t that dangerous?”
Dad: “No, because I’ve got those” and points at his feet.
A dog walks to my dad carrying an axe in it’s mouth.
Dad: “That’s not suitable to play fetch with.”
The dog walks back and returns, now carrying a wooden block with a scythe sticking out.
I’m looking at an online survey from a bookshop. One of the questions is: “Are you crazy?”
After having to hold on to a train for hours, I go to a cafe and order “Taze”. The waitress brings me Fanta.
Me: angry “I don’t want Fanta, I’ve just had to hang on a train for hours and I want Taze RIGHT NOW.”
It’s not raining and I wonder where I’m supposed to leave my raincoat. Next to a door is a sign which says: “Auction! A perfect place to take your coat to.”
Teacher: “You can recognize a noun by gender and number. What else?”
Teacher: “Very good! What’s the case of ‘tea’ in ‘The tea of Copernicus’?”
Me: “Have we learnt that already?”
Teacher: “We sure have!”
Me: “(mentions something about ‘The tea of Pluto’)”
Teacher: “The right answer was genitive.”[/ND]