Whose DCs have said the strangest things? Part II

That one made me LOL IRL :colgate:

A few months ago I was in a dream, where I was walking around and talking to a DC. Suddenly we saw one man and woman jumping around with something like virtual reality glasses on their face. They were jumping, rolling around, throwing fire, magics and stuff.

DC: They’re really pro Lucid Dreamers…
ME: Yeah…I wish I could do that too!
:dingding:

These make me laugh so much!
I browsed through my own DJ a bit.

[ND]Teacher: writes a U and a W on the blackboard “I absolutely do not want that you write these two letters next to each other!”
All students wonder why.

I received a 9.7 for a test at school.
Teacher: “That’s what you get with a Greek father!”
Me: “… My father is English.”
Teacher: “Yeah, yeah, that doesn’t matter.”

I’m looking at a tree. At the ends of the branches grow letters.
Me: “Look, that tree is written in Arial.”

A couple of men are digging a very deep trench.
Someone asks: “How long is this trench going to be?”
Man: “Not as long as that tunnel from France to England.”

A dream about Avatar.
Aang: “No, no, I’m the avatar, because I have an arrow on my head!”
Aang shaves his hair off, but he doesn’t have an arrow on his head. He’s disappointed and starts looking for his arrow in the desert.

A man tries to freeze water in a swimming pool so I freeze to death.
Me: “No, please don’t do it, you’ve got such a nice swimming pool!”
I manage to convince him.
Man: “All right, but next time I WILL freeze you!”
I think: Then I won’t come next time! :tongue:

A traffic sign: “Walk to the other side to see what’s on this sign.”

I look at the ground. “Eating disorder” is written on it in big green letters.

I’m walking up the stairs and I see that my father is hanging upside down on the balustrade.
Me: “Isn’t that dangerous?”
Dad: “No, because I’ve got those” and points at his feet.

A dog walks to my dad carrying an axe in it’s mouth.
Dad: “That’s not suitable to play fetch with.”
The dog walks back and returns, now carrying a wooden block with a scythe sticking out.

I’m looking at an online survey from a bookshop. One of the questions is: “Are you crazy?”

After having to hold on to a train for hours, I go to a cafe and order “Taze”. The waitress brings me Fanta.
Me: angry “I don’t want Fanta, I’ve just had to hang on a train for hours and I want Taze RIGHT NOW.”

It’s not raining and I wonder where I’m supposed to leave my raincoat. Next to a door is a sign which says: “Auction! A perfect place to take your coat to.”

Teacher: “You can recognize a noun by gender and number. What else?”
Me: “Case.”
Teacher: “Very good! What’s the case of ‘tea’ in ‘The tea of Copernicus’?”
Me: “Have we learnt that already?”
Teacher: “We sure have!”
Me: “(mentions something about ‘The tea of Pluto’)”
Teacher: “The right answer was genitive.”[/ND]

oh my god I’m laughing my ass off so badly :happy: :happy: :happy:
I wish I had started writing DJ a lot of time before, I would have had a lot of things to write here!

The other night I was in a bus and saw a shelf full of barbie dolls. Outside I told someone we’d better get them before the bus left again and a DC said “Can’t we just leave them for, you know, costumer service?” :eh:

Brilliance. :grin:

haha I have something to write, finally!
From my last two dreams (yeah, I gotta update my DJ soon):
Me and a girl are relaxing on some pillows and she starts taking pics of sleeping people with her mobile. I ask her what is she doing and she answers me with a natural voice “I take photos of guys that have an erection while they sleep and then blackmail them” lol
And the other one:
It’s the birthday of a relative of mine and all of our family is at the restaurant. I’m sitting with my cousin and her mother in front of me; my cousin says “I played one of the games you have on your PS3. It’s really difficult” (in the dream I somehow know she’s talking about GTA but she never say it) and I ask her “What?” and she “to clean your car when it gets very dirty” me “I don’t understand what you’re saying” and she “I mean, when you have sex with bi***es” and then my aunt shouts “Oh my god, this sucks!” and i tell her “I don’t do that sort of stuff!” and she tells me “What are you like!” :happy: :happy:
(I hope I did a good translation :smile:)

me and a DС were walking along a road, and i point towards a tree a couple of steps right in front of us and ask “how long will it take to get there?” and the DC says “5 years”. strange.

hah some amazing replies in this topic
the one i can remember was around two months ago.
Im my dream i was lying in my bed with my leg hurt(i had an injury IRL) and next to me i see this short old man building a transformer of my size
so i ask him

me: what are you doing?
old man: building a transformer for you…
me: why ?
old man: so we can replace your legs with the transformers ones.
me: are you reliable ?
old man:(O_o) are YOU reliable ?

My DC in a LD, I tell him that he is just made up, he starts crying and shouting; NO I AM REAL!! I tried to explain that I was lucid and that I was creating everything, after a while I realise that I am not in need of telling him that, since it was my own dream that would mean I was talking to myself… So I kinda got pissed, I kicked his arse lol :razz: (kinda violent? yes I know ahhaha). Hm can’t think of any strange stuff atm but I will post if I remember something more interesting :smile:

I am not sure who said this, DC or other.
But I was attempting WILD when out of nowhere a voice said, “use the dream hammer!”
Now what the heck am I supposed to make out of that one? :confused:
I have not been able to get lucid through WILD so maybe a dream hammer is the trick?
Any idea what that voice could have meant by it?

while attempting WILD, you usually hear voices saying completely random things. Nothing to take seriously.

Oh god, this thread is brilliant.

[My parents are dressed as fantasy live-action roleplayers, like they’re about to go in to some LOTR-esque battle. They’ve made an outfit for me.]
Me: Gosh, mom, did you use the same shoulder measurements for mine that you used for dad’s? /not amused
Mom: We don’t have time to make things perfect.
Me: I’d rather not wear one at all than wear one that looks ridiculous. Why can’t we just wear more practical clothes into battle with armor under them?
Mom: …That would be weird, Morgan.

[I’m playing a video game where the main character you play is Waldo.]
[The camera zooms in on Waldo. He turns around and looks at the camera with a terrified look on his face.]
“I need to get out of here, that camera isn’t just zooming in for no reason, it’s the point of view of the man that’s after me!”
I was so creeped out by how meta that was, I woke up.

Ok, so it wasn’t a DC who said this, it was me, but w/e:
I was talking to one of my internet friends; apparently in this dream she was from another planet (you never know with internet friends, right?) that had been destroyed a while ago. We were watching this video about said destruction of her planet. After it, I turned to her and told her that, “Ayn Rand was a resident of that planet. She wrote The Fountainhead right before she was killed in its destruction”.

I love all these!!! I was reading them last night and started laughing so hard! (I wonder if it’s easier to dream after laughing a lot :tongue: )

I hope this thread’s not dead yet because I have some experiences as well:

  1. Once, in a Lucid dream, (my 3rd I think) I cloned myself. Soon I started asking him a few questions but all he/I ever answered was: “How are you?” in a weird tone. So then I got bored and ran away.

  2. In a normal dream one of my fav. teachers was there and he told me:
    “Don’t let paparazzi pull on your cheeks or else the muscles will expand and you’ll look bad in front of the cameras.”
    I can’t remember if it was paparazzi or photographer but I remember I just stood there thinking about it in my dream.

  3. My grandma was holding a golden egg in her hand and she told me I would get special powers if I ate it. :tongue:

  4. I also had a “lucid moment” in one of my normal dreams. It was kinda like a bad guy Vs good guy kind of thing… I had a hard time explaining that I would win since it was my dream after all but my lucid powers were weak so I couldn’t even prove it to them. :sad:

hahaha the “how are you?” clone thing was awesome :happy: :happy:

I hopped up onto the roof of the building. A man who I identified as a tourist was looking across the rooftops with his binoculars. I walked towards him holding the gun. He turned and smiled. He said, “There appears to be a deciduous line running across the 20 metre gap in the warp zone. If you stepped slightly to the left, I might get a better view of his arse.”

It was a law book that talked about what should be done whenever a hurricane would come through.
“One must have a stern talk with and fresh the weather man” and
“Fire the sewer people”
Heehee. Very funny.
Namaste

Writing is funny. I once went into hypnopompia and there was red writing on my bedroom walls. I remember one line that was like “match the line with the cross and you make a spider. Don’t forget to add” can’t remember the rest XD

In a chatroom in an ND
Friend: I’m buying a Japanese heated table (kotatsu)
Me:awesome

I want to summon Yuki Nagato from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, she would be awesomly weird, or Osaka from Azumanga Daioh

Here are what my DC’s have said :tongue:

I’m with a friend in the kitchen. He has made something with a lot of whipcream on. I ate some of the whipcream.
He: Don’t eat it like that! You’re spreading germs, lick on it instead.
I answered: No, I don’t.
Suddenly a crocodile head popped up through the cream. :dingy:
Crocodile: Is it someone that said germs?
We shook our heads
Crocodile: Have you seen another crocodile?
We shook our heads again.
Crocodile: Well, he has escaped anyway. Be careful! See ya!

Grandma: Many people do mistakes like when your mom fried the video.

TV: The billionaire _______ (insert name) is suspected for murder of his daughter. He and his wife are getting paid for damages because the police can’t prove anything. He and his wife are now sitting in their car, smiling.

This conversation happened a few nights ago. It was about me and a DC were looking at a some airsoft guns.

Me: „No, that gun isn’t so good, it has only 0.5 joules.”
DC: „Ah, I see. 0.5 jezzen.”
Me: „No, Joules!”
DC : „What?”
Me: „They measure the power of those guns with joules”
DC:„That’s impossible, then a real gun would have like 7510 joules!”
Me: „Yes they do!”

The next day I woke up and checked out if this number was accurate. It turns out that it is possible for a real gun. However I couldnt find anything related to that exact amount he said.