I had some fragments of NDs, written here, that had a mix of emotions.
More important than the points, though, is that you seem to be beating yourself up now and saying you “broke the LC”. I know the way we’ve been communicating in IRC has been a bit adversarial at times, so let me speak openly in this post.
What’s getting to me is really a lot of little things. For example, it’s normal for the LC to have some tasks that are more action-oriented while others are more laid-back, but this LC has been the latter for all seven tasks; getting too involved in an adventurous LD actually threatens to distract the dreamer from the detail needed for points, so it’s been seven weeks of “tame” LDs for me when I’m itching to have some crazier dreams. Also, the scoring system does bug me, but that didn’t start with you — it’s actually a holdover from HeadInTheClouds changing the definition of combo points while also creating some repeatable tasks for LC 37.
I guess the only thing that ever made me “angry” was a lack of clear communication. Your tasks seemed to be written as if the words were supposed to be pleasing to our ears instead of actually descriptive. This is why I’m going about the tasks “literally”, as you have said; it’s not always clear what is necessary, so I do what is written. For instance, Task 7 Part 2 seems to require two sounds to be heard (one’s own heart and some outside sound), but after speaking to you on IRC, it seems that the “to your heart and” phrase was just to make it sound special and doesn’t actually play into the task. Likewise, words like “unusual” in task descriptions seemed to be up to our interpretation, but sometimes weren’t. I would prefer knowing exactly what to do over having the tasks sound interesting.
However, I’m not perfect either. I’ve been way more vocal about small issues than I should be, and it’s clearly making you feel like everything’s ruined. When I prepare a sample LC and talk about how I’d do this or that differently, I’m really just amping myself up to keep LDing; you’ve seen many times in the past that I LD more often when I’m emotionally involved, such as being angry at other LC participants gaining ground on me or being happy about a planned dream. In this case, I’m giving myself something that I’d like to do, and the only way I can do it is by winning this LC. Please don’t think I’m saying such things just to paint your LC as a broken one, as it’s me selfishly saying things to get myself motivated without thinking of the effect it has on you. Beyond that, I’ve been a whiner because I’m up against difficult odds. Wyvern doesn’t have NLDs, and in the scoring system used by you and HeadInTheClouds, his long LDs allow for as many points as he cares to get (whereas the old LCs had a much lower max point value each week given the different method of applying lucid/early/combo points and generally smaller numbers overall). Against tough odds, I tend to lash out at insignificant things, and it’s particularly rough for me this time because I have no control over my standing; if Wyvern wants to win, he will just type enough dreams to win, and if he doesn’t, he will not. I am basically defending myself from third place rather than trying to guarantee first because I don’t know what Wyvern is thinking, and it’s a feeling that’s been dragging me down and making me argue points that aren’t worth arguing.
While I know that I’m not the only one that complained, I feel like I complained the most. I’m not going to fib and say that this LC was perfect, because there are things that I truly believe could have been done better, but I’m making it sound way worse than it actually is because I’m selfish and insecure with the idea that my final standing is not in my control. I don’t hate this LC and I don’t think less of you in any way for the small issues — if I did, I wouldn’t have ask for DC-you as a companion for Tiny Adventures™. So for both of our sakes, please stop thinking that you’ve somehow ruined everything, as it’s not a mood I want any friend of mine to have.