My God, I’m not the only one!
I am Mystikan (real name Steve), and I don’t know if what I experience is LD, OBE or something else… but what you describe on this and your linked LD sites is the closest explanation I’ve come across by far.
To explain: Ever since childhood, I feel that I have lived two lives. One is my Earth-life, in which I am a male human being, born in England and currently residing in Australia, interests and employment etc. as per my profile here. The other is as a member of a race known as Aimanhyarin, a winged, psychically-powerful humanoid species from a planet known as Aiman, whose influence has spread over millions of galaxies.
There’s way too much to reveal in a single post, and in fact I am currently developing a website dedicated to this experience, but I’ll summarize as best I can here.
First, my experience (I’m reluctant to call it a “dream” for reasons that will become clear) has been occurring on a nightly basis for as long as I can remember - and I am 37 years old. Essentially, I go to sleep here, and when I wake up, I am in another place. I live a life there, meet people, and perform tasks as though I were awake. I go to sleep there, and wake up back here. I call this process a state transition.
Here, I am currently unemployed and on welfare, which I augment by designing the occasional website when I can get work. I have few responsibilities, I can generally make ends meet (just), and face few major problems or dilemmas in waking life. I have no commitments, partner or children here (nor any wish to have either of the latter given the social climate of Western civilisation on this planet), and no debts. I can spend much time designing my graphics and Web pages, from which I make just enough to augment my welfare assistance and live a reasonable mode of life. I’d like to be able to get off the welfare completely, and I’m working towards that goal as best I can.
There, I am a high-ranking official in an intergalactic organisation known as the Arnagest (the name derives from the two Aimanhyarin words arnad, meaning war, and gestad, meaning peace). The role of the Arnagest is to preserve a principle known as Dey Kalahad or The Balance - essentially, to manipulate and influence interracial conflicts so as to prevent the destruction or domination of any starfaring culture by another, and to preserve all cultures by any means possible. My role in the Arnagest bears onerous responsibilities and I am often called upon to make decisions that can affect the lives of billions of intelligent beings. This is not a responsibility I wish for and in that state have often wished to escape it. Most of the time, I am at my desk perusing cultural semantics reports, computing actions and outcomes, and recommending courses of action to my staff.
This is different to your descriptions of LD in several important aspects:
- The experience is both exigent and contiguous; i.e. the alternate state fulfils all standard reality checks, and each successive transition to the alternate state leads on from the previous one in both lives.
- The experience is involuntary; I have never sought to deliberately “initiate” a state transition, and in fact have on occasion experimentally sought ways to prevent it from occurring, without success. Even if I get extremely drunk, or dose up on Valium, the state transition still occurs unimpeded.
- I often have “normal dreams” between states; that is, I have dreams in which elements of both worlds are combined (that’s what you would call a “dreamsign”) - then I know I’m dreaming and can become “lucid” as you say. But this is distinct from either my Earth-state or my Aiman-state, and such dreams invariably fail a reality check - whereas both Earth and Aiman don’t.
- When questioned, the Aimanyarin insist upon and can demonstrate their reality, just as you can. To them, my descriptions of Earth are a dream, just as my description of Aiman is to you. One Aimanhyarin girl, Kam-Kalya Sanshina, has described Earth as a expression of desire to “escape my responsibilities of the Arnagest”.
- On Aiman, I think, speak and write in Aimanhyarin (I’ve developed a font of Aimanhyarin script that’ll be available to the public when I get my website up). I cannot, while there, utilise English effectively, and can only recall a few phrases in this language. Conversely, while here, I have only a sketchy knowledge of Aimanhyarin and can recall only a few phrases in it - but as you can tell from this post, I have an excellent command of English!
- On reading and writing: pages of text and pictures remain constant and do not change, even between state transitions. For example, my Aimanhyarin partner, Shan-Kailin Palandi, has a picture on her loungeroom wall of our daughter, Shan-Chalika, riding a parilet (an Aimanian animal that looks sort of like a winged, crested kangaroo), which has remained there, unchanged, for years. And on my office wall at the Arnagest HQ, I have a copy of the Mandate of the Arnagest, which also has remained constant for the time it has been there.
In short, I am unable to establish by any empirical means that this experience is NOT a reality unto itself, any more than I can disprove Earth and the people in it. I did not wish for this experience, did nothing to trigger it, and cannot control it, except insofar as its laws of physics permit. For example, I can fly, but only because I (as do all Aimanhyarin) have wings and do so as a matter of course (and it takes considerable effort, like running). Similarly, I can effect certain changes by power of will, but this also is a function of Aimanhyarin psionics and there are limits to what I can accomplish by this means.
I cannot, for example, make others change appearance, character or nature, or create or delete them from the experience. Others have their own distinct identities and personalities, as do others here on Earth, which I cannot alter even with the most intense wish to do so (e.g. Kailin’s sister Taliya hates my guts and would kill me if she got the opportunity, and she has tried repeatedly to poison Kailin’s mind against me. She is in a sense responsible for the death of our daughter (who incidentally I have no power to bring back to life) and has been a nemesis ever since I met her and Kailin in my youth.)
Likewise, I cannot “teleport” to other locations except though the Transmat system operated by the Arnagest (they call it the Gamarakhad; I derived the term Transmat from transportation matrix, which describes what it is), and that only goes to specific terminals. I cannot simply change location by will, and to get to other planets unequipped with Transmat terminals I must travel by ‘conventional’ means; i.e. spacecraft. And a spacecraft journey can take a long time (over a number of consecutive state transitions).
Finally, the extent of the culture and detail in the Aiman-state far exceeds my own knowledge and experience. I could fill an encyclopedia with information about the alternate universe, but this post is big enough as it is! There is language, religion, history, arts, literature, sports, fashions and more there that I have no room to describe. Many of these things are even outside my fields of interest; here’s one example:
I have no interest in playing chess (although I know the essential rules of the game) - I’m no good at it, and it just bores me. Yet the Aimanhyarin have a similar game, called thahle, played on a 12 x 12 board; the object is not to checkmate the opponent’s “king”, but to get your six “gestalt” pieces into their back row. Someone once told me that was more like checkers, but since I’ve never played checkers and don’t know the rules, I wouldn’t know. An Aimanhyarin friend of mine, Tan-Marren Adurinak, is good at thahle (he can beat me hands down), but I don’t often play.
And I could go into much more detail about Aimanhyarin telepathy and their Gestalt culture, their utter inability to lie or conceal, their resulting complete lack of any sense of privacy, their open work-based economy, the inter-transitional time shift (I’ve lived around 320 years there while only 37 here; the Arnagest seems a daily reality while Earth seems only to occur occasionally) and much more, but there is not space. I can only say that the cogent reality encompassed by this alternate universe is far greater in extent than could be considered possible in a dream state, and I am forced to accept that the state transitions may not smply be a dream.
I have tried to treat this as a dream, but to no avail. But seeing this site (I found it through Wikipedia) gives me some hope of finding others with similar experiences and hopefully being able to establish the actual nature of such an occurrence.