oh my god I’m laughing my ass off so badly 
I wish I had started writing DJ a lot of time before, I would have had a lot of things to write here!
Whose DCs have said the strangest things? Part II
The other night I was in a bus and saw a shelf full of barbie dolls. Outside I told someone we’d better get them before the bus left again and a DC said “Can’t we just leave them for, you know, costumer service?” 
Brilliance. 
haha I have something to write, finally!
From my last two dreams (yeah, I gotta update my DJ soon):
Me and a girl are relaxing on some pillows and she starts taking pics of sleeping people with her mobile. I ask her what is she doing and she answers me with a natural voice “I take photos of guys that have an erection while they sleep and then blackmail them” lol
And the other one:
It’s the birthday of a relative of mine and all of our family is at the restaurant. I’m sitting with my cousin and her mother in front of me; my cousin says “I played one of the games you have on your PS3. It’s really difficult” (in the dream I somehow know she’s talking about GTA but she never say it) and I ask her “What?” and she “to clean your car when it gets very dirty” me “I don’t understand what you’re saying” and she “I mean, when you have sex with bi***es” and then my aunt shouts “Oh my god, this sucks!” and i tell her “I don’t do that sort of stuff!” and she tells me “What are you like!”
(I hope I did a good translation 
)
me and a DС were walking along a road, and i point towards a tree a couple of steps right in front of us and ask “how long will it take to get there?” and the DC says “5 years”. strange.
hah some amazing replies in this topic
the one i can remember was around two months ago.
Im my dream i was lying in my bed with my leg hurt(i had an injury IRL) and next to me i see this short old man building a transformer of my size
so i ask him
me: what are you doing?
old man: building a transformer for you…
me: why ?
old man: so we can replace your legs with the transformers ones.
me: are you reliable ?
old man:(O_o) are YOU reliable ?
My DC in a LD, I tell him that he is just made up, he starts crying and shouting; NO I AM REAL!! I tried to explain that I was lucid and that I was creating everything, after a while I realise that I am not in need of telling him that, since it was my own dream that would mean I was talking to myself… So I kinda got pissed, I kicked his arse lol 
(kinda violent? yes I know ahhaha). Hm can’t think of any strange stuff atm but I will post if I remember something more interesting
I am not sure who said this, DC or other.
But I was attempting WILD when out of nowhere a voice said, “use the dream hammer!”
Now what the heck am I supposed to make out of that one? 
I have not been able to get lucid through WILD so maybe a dream hammer is the trick?
Any idea what that voice could have meant by it?
while attempting WILD, you usually hear voices saying completely random things. Nothing to take seriously.
Oh god, this thread is brilliant.
[My parents are dressed as fantasy live-action roleplayers, like they’re about to go in to some LOTR-esque battle. They’ve made an outfit for me.]
Me: Gosh, mom, did you use the same shoulder measurements for mine that you used for dad’s? /not amused
Mom: We don’t have time to make things perfect.
Me: I’d rather not wear one at all than wear one that looks ridiculous. Why can’t we just wear more practical clothes into battle with armor under them?
Mom: …That would be weird, Morgan.
[I’m playing a video game where the main character you play is Waldo.]
[The camera zooms in on Waldo. He turns around and looks at the camera with a terrified look on his face.]
“I need to get out of here, that camera isn’t just zooming in for no reason, it’s the point of view of the man that’s after me!”
I was so creeped out by how meta that was, I woke up.
Ok, so it wasn’t a DC who said this, it was me, but w/e:
I was talking to one of my internet friends; apparently in this dream she was from another planet (you never know with internet friends, right?) that had been destroyed a while ago. We were watching this video about said destruction of her planet. After it, I turned to her and told her that, “Ayn Rand was a resident of that planet. She wrote The Fountainhead right before she was killed in its destruction”.
I love all these!!! I was reading them last night and started laughing so hard! (I wonder if it’s easier to dream after laughing a lot 
)
I hope this thread’s not dead yet because I have some experiences as well:
-
Once, in a Lucid dream, (my 3rd I think) I cloned myself. Soon I started asking him a few questions but all he/I ever answered was: “How are you?” in a weird tone. So then I got bored and ran away.
-
In a normal dream one of my fav. teachers was there and he told me:
“Don’t let paparazzi pull on your cheeks or else the muscles will expand and you’ll look bad in front of the cameras.”
I can’t remember if it was paparazzi or photographer but I remember I just stood there thinking about it in my dream. -
My grandma was holding a golden egg in her hand and she told me I would get special powers if I ate it.
-
I also had a “lucid moment” in one of my normal dreams. It was kinda like a bad guy Vs good guy kind of thing… I had a hard time explaining that I would win since it was my dream after all but my lucid powers were weak so I couldn’t even prove it to them.
hahaha the “how are you?” clone thing was awesome
I hopped up onto the roof of the building. A man who I identified as a tourist was looking across the rooftops with his binoculars. I walked towards him holding the gun. He turned and smiled. He said, “There appears to be a deciduous line running across the 20 metre gap in the warp zone. If you stepped slightly to the left, I might get a better view of his arse.”
It was a law book that talked about what should be done whenever a hurricane would come through.
“One must have a stern talk with and fresh the weather man” and
“Fire the sewer people”
Heehee. Very funny.
Namaste
Writing is funny. I once went into hypnopompia and there was red writing on my bedroom walls. I remember one line that was like “match the line with the cross and you make a spider. Don’t forget to add” can’t remember the rest XD
In a chatroom in an ND
Friend: I’m buying a Japanese heated table (kotatsu)
Me:awesome
I want to summon Yuki Nagato from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, she would be awesomly weird, or Osaka from Azumanga Daioh
Here are what my DC’s have said
I’m with a friend in the kitchen. He has made something with a lot of whipcream on. I ate some of the whipcream.
He: Don’t eat it like that! You’re spreading germs, lick on it instead.
I answered: No, I don’t.
Suddenly a crocodile head popped up through the cream. 
Crocodile: Is it someone that said germs?
We shook our heads
Crocodile: Have you seen another crocodile?
We shook our heads again.
Crocodile: Well, he has escaped anyway. Be careful! See ya!
Grandma: Many people do mistakes like when your mom fried the video.
TV: The billionaire _______ (insert name) is suspected for murder of his daughter. He and his wife are getting paid for damages because the police can’t prove anything. He and his wife are now sitting in their car, smiling.
This conversation happened a few nights ago. It was about me and a DC were looking at a some airsoft guns.
Me: „No, that gun isn’t so good, it has only 0.5 joules.”
DC: „Ah, I see. 0.5 jezzen.”
Me: „No, Joules!”
DC : „What?”
Me: „They measure the power of those guns with joules”
DC:„That’s impossible, then a real gun would have like 7510 joules!”
Me: „Yes they do!”
The next day I woke up and checked out if this number was accurate. It turns out that it is possible for a real gun. However I couldnt find anything related to that exact amount he said.
A few nights ago I had a dream where my old teacher kept insulting me in front of the class.
She kept using me in comparisons as if I was dumb. 
DC: Maybe I should take a photo of you, cut off your head and put it on a man’s body.
Me: Well, I always wanted to be MANLY flexes
DC: ???