This was a very powerful dream for me. I have been engaged in some cognitive behavioral therapy, to better understand my unhealthy thought patterns (cognitive distortions) and the impact of a lot of physical and mental abuse I dealt with when I was younger. It’s all there and it’s all undeniable when a skilled therapist helps you connect the dots. I feel very conflicted, as I know my parents and family in general was trying to do the “right thing”. They just had a poor implementation strategy. I also know that just realizing these things does not make anything instantaneously better. It’s more of a slow reprogramming toward a healthier state. This dream is symbolic of that realization/awakening and journey.
Wolves
I am at my childhood home and I come to the realization that my parents are leaving for a long time, perhaps forever. I walk to the laundry room and into the garage. Concerned about which car they took. Oddly, my two present day cars are in the garage or driveway. So they took one of theirs. This is an immediate relief to me.
I see something odd by the end of the driveway. I begin to walk over. As I get closer and closer I realize it’s a giant wolf. But it’s coat is very matted and grey. As I walk even closer I realize it’s two wolves sleeping together. I have an immediate visceral response to this. One of fear. I slowly back up toward the porch so as to not wake or otherwise get their attention. Once on the porch I grab a phone and take a picture.
The interpretation is probably longer and more complex than the dream itself. Wolves can represent many things. I went with the interpretation that fits into the dream context the best. Wolves represent aggression, danger and ferocity. (there are other interesting interpretations such as “truth to self”).
The fact that my two present day cars are in a scene from some 30-40 years ago simply roots my present day self to this scene from my childhood. I was concerned that they might have taken one of my cars because that would mean they took a piece of my present state that I had no means to get back. My parents departure is symbolic of letting go of the pain and thought patterns that I’ve wrestled with all my life. The wolves giant size is really indicative of my small size. The me in this dream is very young. My parents age, weakness and sleep is consistent with their present state. While once dangerous, and while I once had a visceral reaction to their behavior (like I did in the dream) the truth is that they are physically harmless now. And more importantly, because I’ve come to at least understand their negative impact to my psyche, they no longer have that power either.
I took a picture at the end of the dream for the reason anyone takes a picture. To remind themselves of this scene.