Anxiety attack (no SP)

Quest for Lucidity
1

Hi folks,

(I searched to see if any topic covered this, but everything I read seemed to involve SP, and mine doesn’t…)

So, just to summarize, I’m a newbie, both to this forum and to LD.

14th Feb. low-level lucid dream (as described in this site’s excellent guide “For a brief period you are conscious of the fact that you are dreaming, but you can’t hold on to that thought. You get to interact consciously with your dream but without realizing you soon go with the flow of the dream again”).

15th Feb. Posted something to a private group on Facebook. At the time, just thought it was a weird dream. Friend reads my post and tells me to google LD. I did. Read this site’s guide all the way through, decided to follow PasQuale’s advice and start with a DJ. Learn to remember, and write. Nothing more.

16th Feb. Remembered a lot, and wrote.

17th Feb. First real LD. Lasted seconds - I was so excited I woke up. Most amazing experience I’ve ever had. It was 3am, so I thought I may as well try WBTB. Didn’t work, but recorded another 4 episodes in the DJ.

18th Feb. First half of night (again, woke 3am), nothing, no memories, just a vague feeling that I’d just read or written a book. Original plot and dialog fresh in my mind, so obviously dream related, but no more. Second half of night, 4 NDs with several pointers that lucidity isn’t far away: DC’s talking to me about dreaming, recognizing that the bedroom’s in the wrong place etc. Still, just NDs.

19th Feb. During the day, a nagging, irrational doubt that, somehow, LD is “wrong”. Mild feelings of anxiety (stressful day, anyhow). Tried to ignore mood, meditated for half an hour or so, hoping it would help clear the bad vibes I was getting from whatever it was. Chatted with some cool people, on this site, then went to bed around midnight. Uncharacteristically, difficult to go to sleep. Tried to relax, focus on “I will remember my dream”. 1am or thereabouts, as I feel myself drifting off to sleep, really bad anxiety attack which snaps me awake with the feeling I’m slipping into hell (I’m an atheist, by the way). Got up, walked around, calmed down, back to bed. Slept okay, but had trouble remembering one dream upon awakening.

I’m going backwards! Has anyone else gone through anything like this? I’m not worried, per se, just kind of disappointed that my initial progress and enthusiasm has been so hard-hit.

Anyhow, any advice/comments welcome.

Peace
M

2

Update - still no idea what that was about. Hasn’t happened since, though, and still aiming for that first stable LD.

My brain’s making fun of me now. From last night’s DJ:

ND. Sky diving (gliding, really) over the ocean with Harvey after we see some guy having fun doing it. We’re wearing flippers. Soft landing in ocean near boat. He laughs at me 'cause I don’t use flippers properly – I should be pointing my feet so flippers are extension of my body, but on me they just look like clown shoes. Real, wonderful sensation of flying. Wind rushing past my face. I think “wow, this would be great in a LD”, and start thinking about how I’d get up there in order to start.

3

Hy Bono.

I will not go much into this because to me it looks nothing more then: ups and downs.

Sure when we get this first LD it really is something so crazy that can’ t be compared to anything we experienced so far but it fades, especially if we don’t have it regularly.
Look at it as a drug. Your system longs for it but doesn’t get it. Your body and mind might react somehow, maybe this was your way.

Now I did use drugs for comparison but trust me it’s not, I don’t see dreams as drugs, I see them as something beautiful and meaningful, it was only a reference. So my bad if this analogy might send the wrong idea. :shy: :content:

4

Yo dB_FTS,

Thanks for the response. Yeah, I see your point about drugs, and I think you’re right in saying it’s nothing more than ups and downs. Since that episode, all back to normal, and dream recall’s getting better by the day.

I’m putting it behind me - telling myself it’s one of life’s little mysteries - and just keeping the DJ going and enjoying my nights’ adventures.

5

That’s great, I’m glad you’re past that! :content: