moved from cloud forum 
This is the start of a biography about my spirit guide, Atar.
So first I’ll tell you a bit about myself 
As far back as I can remember I’ve had at least one imaginary friend, at any given point. I used to pretend that imaginary characters would come and visit me, and I would spend a lot of time with them, talking, playing, doing what ever. Then I got really into dragons 
so I would always have at least one dragon friend with me. Most of the time I would come up with a story behind why they were with me, and where they came from, etc.
I remember Max was my first dragon imaginary friend. He had grey and white fur, and he was the size of a big dog. Later on came Roy, his brother, who was black and white. Then there was Luna, who had purple eyes, light brown fur, and the body of a kangaroo, with wings. I had a group of 10 or more at one point lol 
Max was my main focus I think. He was almost always with me. He had a fun sense of humour (usually very sarcastic 
). He was always supportive and helpful too.
Every once in a while one or more of them would leave, but usually only for a little while. They’d almost always come back. It felt very real when they left, like a part of me had to take a break for a while… So I missed them when they were gone 
Then, after a long time, they all went away. I didn’t visualize them trailing along
behind me anymore or telling me stories or jokes, or helping me out in any way. I knew they were still there, exactly as I knew their personalities and traits, but not in the bodies I pictured them in, or talking in the voices I gave them. Their guidance was and is always available to me. It never went away.
It was at this age I often thought to myself that I shouldn’t still be imagining friends that weren’t real, I should be more mature by now… (Now I realize that my imagination is just as real as anything else.)
These beings I created with my very essence, were my very thoughts, ideas, creations, words, actions, Me.
Now, please don’t read this under the impression I have some sort of multiple personality disorder I do not. These are just my beliefs. These beings are like your instincts, that little voice in the back of your head, your gut, your insight, your intuition, your clairvoyance, your empathy, your creativity, your imagination, your subconscious, your awareness, your connection to everything, your spirit guide, dream guide, mentor, teacher, friend, soul, ghost, god, your guardian angel, the source, and the essence of everything.
So…
The summer before grade 9 I went to work with my mom a lot, and spent most of the day on the computers 
… playing games, looking stuff up, socializing, etc. I had just read the whole “his dark materials” series by Phillip Pullman (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass). As you now know, my entire life, I’ve let myself go wild and run away with my imagination… So I found myself irresistibly drawn to the idea of real-life imaginary friends lol… daemons (no, not demons ).
I did some research, to find out where else daemons appeared in text around the world and their history over time. I found out that the daemon, is in essence, exactly what my imaginary friends were to me. A guide, a friend, a teacher, an entity even, found inside or outside of your self. Some say daemons are spirits, invisible and unhearable by everybody else (spirit guides, dream guides…). Some say they can be familiars, which are animals that do the biddings of witches, and usually join them in rituals and spell work… Their partner in magic.
Everything I was reading I found absolutely captivating. I was very excited to meet my ‘daemon’ for the first time lol. I didn’t realise then that I’d known him my whole life anyway!
I went to this site that was all about the golden compass. It had a little quiz you could take, to find out what your daemon would be (if they were ‘real’, of course 
). I took it, and mine was a sparrow. I remember the first time picturing him like that, flying next to me… He hasn’t changed since I named him Rannen. I began to picture him everywhere I went, just like the dragons. He was a lot like Max.
Not to long afterwards I changed his form to a griffon.
After a month or two I decided to change his name too, after I found this site called the daemonpage. I looked at some other people names for their daemons, and one that caught my eye was kaemeon. So I copied it, and renamed my daemon, Kaemian.
Kaemian… (He is the same as Rannen) I‘ll tell you a bit about him. Most of the time, he took the form of a black cat with green eyes. No reason why really, that’s just how I saw him. He changed all the time, mostly to different cats, birds, dogs, or dragons.
He could tell the future. Either that or he could make things happen. He did it quite a lot in grade 9. He told me something was going to happen, and it happened, every time. 
We talked all the time. I got better and better at visualizing him, and hearing his
voice.
After about a year and a half, I started to think again, maybe I should move on from all this imaginary friend nonsense. I knew that almost nobody else my age (14) had an imaginary friend anymore, so I began to lose touch with Kaemian. Then there was a lot of drama that I made up in my mind. He left, and wasn’t with me for a while. I was very upset… But I needed to learn that he would always come back, no matter what. All that was taking a break was my tireless imagination. He was always there, but not as the familiar black cat with bright green eyes.
I decided I wanted to change his name again. I thought about a few names in the past, but none of them stuck. So I decided to meditate for the first time (This is when I was 15). 
I pictured myself in our place (a small open valley with fields of long yellow grass, a narrow stream running straight through the middle, and a small old red tree a few feet away from the river, right in the center of the valley)
I was flying through the valley, over looking everything 
and Kaemian was flying next to me as a bird. I landed next to the tree, and he landed on one of it’s branches, as a cat. He stared at me with his piercing emerald green eyes and I asked him, “what should our new name be?” and after a few moments he said, “Atar.”
Then my grandmother called and snapped me out of my wobbly first-time meditation. I talked to her for a little while, and then went online to look up what Atar meant.
Atar, I found out, is the Zoroastrian concept for “burning and unburning fire” and “visible and invisible fire”. It means heat, thermal energy. It manifests in the form of fire or some other luminous source when visible.
Now, the burning and unburning, and visible and invisible, is what I found Fascinating! I am the corporeal part of me… I can be seen, touched and heard. Atar is the incorporeal part. He can’t be seen through your physical eyes, or heard by your physical ears, or touched by your physical hands.
I don’t recall ever hearing the word Atar before!
I kept reading, and there are different types of Atar…
- atar berezi-savah: “The highly beneficent atar”, qualified in Zend texts as “the fire that eats food but drinks no water”, and the kind of fire that burns in an Atash-Behram, the highest grade of fire temple.
- atar vohu-fryana: “The atar of good affection”, later qualified as “the fire diffusing goodness”, and “the fire that consumes both water and food”.
- atar urvazishta, “the atar of greatest bliss”, later qualified as “the fire of happy life”, and “the fire that drinks water but eats no food”.
- atar vazishta, “the atar most swift”, later qualified as the fire in clouds, i.e. lightning, and as “the fire that neither drinks water nor eats food”.
- atar spenishta, “the atar most holy”, described in “Zend” texts as “the fire of prosperity” and as the spiritual fire burning before Ohrmuzd.
For me, Atar is Atar Spenishta
So Atar, the new name, and his eye color was changed to the colors of a fire.
I am now in grade 11, I’m 16, and I’ve known Atar (as all of my creativity, imagination, inspiration, and motivation) for almost three years.
I am on the best terms with myself, as I’ve ever been. Just recently, I went through kind of a crazy break up… It really messed with my head, but everything is way better now. I’m devoting myself to everything else I enjoyed in life before, but didn’t make time for because of other people. I’m playing guitar more, singing more, making more friends, and I’m focusing more and more on lucid dreaming and learning about myself, and Atar. 
Me and Atar have a really good thing going for us now, it’s very balanced and open, and very loving 
I’ve recently come to realise Atar is more than just me, to me. The connection I have with him is my very own link to all the knowledge in the universe 
He is my guide through this life and all that comes with it. If there’s one thing he’s taught me, is to love, and be loved, with no conditions attached… 
LOVE, is always the answer. I’m more open than I’ve ever been, to all the things he can show me. Life is good 
I posted this to inspire. To create, to imagine, to explore, to keep an open heart and mind, to love yourself, and all things. 
I’ll post more soon!
With love,
Zoë and Atar 
