Been having dangerous dreams lately...

[Jonikiro]

Moved from the Quest for Lucidity forum cause it’s not related with lucidity but normal dreams.

I know that this isn’t the kind of place to be posting these things, but I can’t think of another board, person, or God to go to for these questions. Sorry if I sound emo whilst writing this.

A few months ago, I started dating a girl we’ll call Jane (We were friends for about a year before). Jane is perfect, to me. She’s smart, funny, talented, bla bla bla. What needs to be known is that she is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and other such mish mosh hogwash. It’s true, though.

And yet…

Lately, I’ve been having more and more dreams that involve me cheating on her. Sure, I always regret it afterwards (both in the dream and when I’m awake), but it never seems to stop me. I’ve even been having wet dreams that involve me with other women.

When I’m awake, I’m constantly looking at other girls and thinking, “they’ve got better breasts than Jane,” or, “they’ve got better lips.” I feel horrible whenever I think of these things and I’m constantly trying to reassure myself that looks are only a part of a bigger package. I know for a fact that Jane’s one in a million.

I’ve yet to cheat on her in real life. I would say I never will, but with all these thoughts going on in my head and in my dreams, I really don’t know. Guys, I don’t want to be a bad person, here. I love Jane. It’s a fact. I know that I can’t have as good of a relationship with anyone else but her. But I can’t help these feelings of regret, even when I know I shouldn’t be having them.

What can I do? If you can’t help, can you lead me to someone who can?

[Basilus_West]

IMO, those dreams are only the consequence of your daylife thoughts. So, don’t worry about your dreams, but worry about your thoughts. If you think that your girlfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to you, why always comparing her with other girls and constantly looking at them? This can only lead to a bad situation for you and her.

[Contage]

Alright seriously, these thoughts are very normal. It is basic human nature. The beast inside is questioning if jane is bacially who you should mate with. The beast inside looks at other girls and says that they would be much better to mate with. Your not a bad person for these thoughts, these are thoughts, and that is all. As long as you havent actually cheated on her, i’d say it is ok.

I really dont think it is right to say “dont think aobut these things, and dont look at other girls!!” That isnt how you get around it. Supressing this will only make it worse. In the end i think looking at other girls is just a phase that you will get over. Your subconcious still wants the girl witht he best breasts, or best lips as you say and whatever else. I am sure you think jane is perfect, but this is your concious mind. I would say just give it time…and dont cheat on her obviously

[bengoodger]

@Contage

Alright seriously, these thoughts are very normal. It is basic human nature. The beast inside is questioning if jane is bacially who you should mate with. The beast inside looks at other girls and says that they would be much better to mate with. Your not a bad person for these thoughts, these are thoughts, and that is all. As long as you havent actually cheated on her, i’d say it is ok.

Yay evolution! This is entirely true, natural selection has just engineered your entire body to select the best thing to impregnate for the species’ improvement. It gets in the way of modern things like monoganism, but there we go.

[dunlar]

Hi. From the wikipedia article on dreams…

Dreams of Absent Minded Transgression

Dreams of Absent Minded Transgression (DAMT) are dreams where the individual dreaming absentmindedly performs an action that they have been trying to stop (a classic example being a smoker trying to quit having dreams of lighting a cigarette). Subjects that have had DAMT dreams have reported awaking with intense feelings of guilt. Some studies have shown that DAMT dreams are positively correlated with successfully stopping the behavior compared to control subjects who did not experience these dreams.[7]

…Make of it what you will…