Body Language

For someone like me, it’s foreign. I communicate everything I find meaningful through words and tone of voice. It’s kind of odd to think that people judge entirely on this other language that’s part of your life yet you never seem to take conscious notice of.

How much does it matter?

A lot, I assure you. And it’s even more important than the conscious part, since this one is unaware, thus completely truthful, and easily controllable, at that. It’s like subliminal messages, they have effect when they’re not noticed consciously, but if they are, it’s just another line of text.

For example, you can easily tell if someone’s lying (eye movements, breath pattern, sweating, arms/legs position, voice tone etc.), or you can actively modify someone’s state, by match his/her breath pattern (for example, with yours, or with finger movements), so the two become linked, then change yours, so they follow with their breath. And for them, it’s completely unconscious. You can make them very anxious, or deeply relaxed this way, and they won’t even notice this happened for no apparent reason.

It’s scary, I know, but that happens because we trust our feelings and emotion, without being aware of what can influence them. It’s like being confident about our walk, but doing it with our eyes closed. There’s going to be interferences in our walk, but we’re not going to notice them, maybe not even after they’ve happened (like a slope that deviates you). It’s a matter of awareness, we are too much used to sleepwalk through life. We need to stay aware if we want to avoid being influenced, and that includes body language.

If I’m correct, only 7% of the conversation is up to words.

The rest is up to body language and the tone/speed of your voice.
Mostly body language, tho.

I see tosxy knows a bit of NLP and/or psychology.

Anyway…it’s true.
By mirroring you can make a person like you.
But if you want to do it, do it discreetly.
Otherwise, the person might take it as mockery.

Do whatever the person does, but after some time.
Also, you can match his breathing, speak as fast as he does and more.
Read it on the internet.

Yes, you can also find out when someone is lying.
The subconscious mind is far more powerful than most people think.

You can also anchor one’s feelings.

I actually sold cars for a while, and they teach you to specifically use different kind of body languages at different parts of the sale.

When customer first arives: immediately stick your hand out and give firm handshake before even saying anything. It relaxes the customer and gives you control.

When the customer selects car/test drives: mimic body language in order to relax them and build rapport.

When giving them the price offer: Sit up straight behind desk, keep hands in plain sight. this makes you look professional and assures the customer you’re hiding nothing.

If they try to reject offer and leave: As they lean forward to get up, lean forawrd as well and then lean back. The customer will mimic your behavoir. Doing this, you can get the toughest of customers under control.

I work in a shop, so you’d think they’d teach a little bit about it, but no.

Interpreting body language and psychology are two things I’ve always wanted to have a go at.

I think Body Language is exciting. I heard a percentage of how much of the communication we do is body language, i think it was 75%!

Well it’s between 60-70%!

I think it’s well written on wikipedia (and not too long :tongue: ):

With a figure that high, it’s a wonder we manage to understand eachother at all on the internet

We are having Smilies! :wink:

Yeah it’s very primitive body language.

Haha yea smileys replace body language^^ And we type in another way then we talk even before the internet existed.

In that article on Wikipedia, I noticed that it said combining crossed arms with a blank facial expression means outright hostility. I do this often, and never have hostile intentions when I do it. It leads me to question why a single definition is often given to a bit of body language, as opposed to multiple definitions. It seems like anything can mean something different given the situation.

This is a very interesting topic, with some amazingly thoughtful replies. I never thought about body language until now.

Eye contact is also very important in a conversation, you can read a person just by studying his or her eyes.

It depends on the culture too. Westerners tend to look at people in the eyes when we are talking to someone, while the person listening will continuosly make and break eye contact. When they begin to talk - then the opposite happens.

Now… I believe it might be africans (dont qoute me on this though… I know its not a typical western culture) do the opposite. When they are talking their eyes are shifting all over the place and when they listen they stare at you. So, you sometimes get the impression they are lying because it appears that they are avoiding eye contact. Yet, they will find it extremely rude that you are starting at them so much when you are listening! :help: Appreciation and awareness of these little things can help every one get along just a little better!

Yes, it’s some tribes in Africa.

But watch what you do.
If you don’t know much about it, read the ‘‘good’’ body language poses and do them.
Avoid the hostile poses…

It’s not that someone is going to kill you if you cross your arms, but still, it helps.

And Asian cultures avoid making eye contact, they see it as a sign of disrespect.