also i have a certain dream i would like to tell you all about and maybe you could help me understand what it means.
i was walking home along a dream version of my normal walk home from my mates house. i say dream version because i could recognise it, but it was my own version of it in my dream and im sure you guys know what i mean. when i walk home in dreams, i always ending up walking through houses like they are part of the road. the road suddenly leads me to the back door and i end up walking out the front door. walking through the houses is quite interesting. i look through the open bedroom doors, but i keep heading out towards the front door. i see people sitting in front of their tv in the living rooms, or i see people sitting down to eat dinner.
after going through maybe 4 or 5 houses like this i enter another house. i walk through it like normal and i get to where the front door is. there is a mattress lying down covering almost the whole floor from where i was standing to the door. blocking my way. on the matress was 4 or 5 people, sleeping , in almost sexual positions as if they had just finnished having sex, they were also half naked. one of these people was the most gourgeous looking girl i have ever seen in my life. right away she was the most perfect woman i had ever seen before.
she wakes up as i walk past her to try and move the matress out of the way to open the door and leave the house. and she wakes up and looks at me groggily and says “when will i see you again?” i point to her and her and the guy lying next to her(who is a scrawny ugly type of guy) and say “dont you already have a boyfriend?” and she says “dont worry about him, hes not real”.
then she says “do you want me to tell you something about yourself?” and i say “what do you mean”. she says “well its a gift of mine, i understand people and can tell you something about yourself just by looking at you”
i say allright go ahead. she says “when you walk down the street, and when people look at you, they are jeleous of you. all of them are. i can see it in their eyes”. when i heard this i felt kind of bashful and i said “maybe im the one who is jeleous of them.” and she says “no, it is the other way around, do not be ashamed, i think its very very sexy”
i turned around to leave. the door is very complicated to open, there are many locks that need to be unlocked before i open the first door. expecting to be outside i am sort of suprised to find another extension of the house with another door leading to the real outside. sort of like a foyer type of room.
about to leave i hear a male voice yelling at me. i turn around to face him, he continues yelling. i cannot remember exactly what he said but here is my 90% accurate reconstruction of it “you live off everybody else and you do nothing for yourself. your a parasite, your a roach”
i quickly turn around and head towards him yelling back “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!” in a very agressive manner. he gets vary scared puts his arms in the air but says nothing. i point to his friend and look back at him and yell “IFYOUVE GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM WE CAN SETTTLE IT RIGHT NOW, TWO ON ONE” and again he looks very scared and confused. he says nothing. tired of this i start to punch him, over and over again he is on the ground with his arms up and i continue to punch him.
his friend comes towards me and i get up and start punching him in the face as well. i remember clearly the pain i felt on my knuckles, his head was the hardest thing my fists have ever been incontact with. i check behind me to see if theres anybody coming at me from behind and there is. this person throws a big punch at me and i move out of the way and it hits the person i was punching in the head, knocking him out.
as im leaving the house, i look at the guy on the floor, the guy who origionally was yelling at me. i pick him up and start to punch him some more. then he turns into a black bag full of beans, like one of those heat bags you put in the microwave and heat up to releive muscle pains and things like that. i keep punching it and throwing it against the wall.
the two girls that were on the bed are standing in the foyer close to me, and say “what are you doing now?” and i, starting to sense it was a dream because of how he turned into a black bag i said “hes in here - alledgedly”. then i dropped the bag and turned away and walked outside.
i then very quickly woke up.
now what boggles me is not the whole fighting part (although the night which this dream was dreamt, i had 5 other dreams all ending in the same kind of fist fights)
it is what the beautiful lady said to me. does it mean im vain or narcisistic? i dont think i am. i know i am a very good looking person, movie star style even (or better). that is not a vain statement to me because it is true. but the truth is i am jeleous of people around me because i also have a couple of mental disorders (ADD + paranoid skitso)
thanks agian for your time, i know its a long couple of posts.