I want to start a thread where people can post profound, weird, funny, absurd things that they or a dream character have said (that maybe perhaps one would never say in real life).
There are a few topics about “I can’t believe I didn’t get lucid after my DC said blah!” but this is a cooler and probly more entertaining thread 
My weirdest thing was actually said by me in a ND…
For some reason or another I had put my friend in the over, and he was all oily and human gravy-y… someone else came up to me and asked if I was sure I should do that. I said, “Yeah, its alright, his little sisters really annoying”. Which is very true lol, but not so on topic…
“Indeed tis I, of the greatest kind, you.”
–A DC, talking about, methinks, how he was me and that I was great. 
Not the first time I write it here, but still my favourite.
Woman to me after I told her about my last lucid dream:
“But you are still dreaming!”
Alex C: “When I turn my back, I will see my biggest problem incranated in an object”
[i see a pile of cassetes, and on top, a pen]
that_thing: “daaaahhling, you always seem to win, and when you loose you collapse… mmmm. ahhh”
Haha, thats pretty strange Alex… ^-^
This quote made me go lucid in a dream some time ago.
I was riding in a car with my dad, and we had some people chasing us, and I was sitting in the back seat, saying, “If this were a dream, they wont be able to see me through the rear window.” And me dad replied, “But this IS a dream!” and I was like, “Oh 
Cool!” And soared throught the car (if you have seen Matrix 2 and the twins with white dreads, u know what i mean 
and attacked the chasers with an katana, and woke up
Heh, I was actually contemplating starting my own thread like this, but this is just as good.
I find I hear the funniest comments when just falling asleep or attempting WILD. I call them HI ramblings, as they are basically silly pieces of hypnagogic imagery. I have a whole collection of them, but I’ll share my most recent ones for now:
A mime dancing around with a VERY high-pitched voice:
Shocking bells
Shocking bells
Shocking bells. *Really, you don’t say!
Lady in a comic strip with a bright red scarf:
Whew! After that dead goon rag.
Unknown imagery:
By suffering of unsufferable sanity.
But it’s in Aunt Marcod’s melted hand.
There’s got to be an alternate reality.
Few months ago when i bought a philosophical book, i had ND where i was reading the same book. And i remembered one line (what is not actually in the real book): “My metaphor makes me glad”
I said “This is like one of my dreams” when my Spanish teacher ran out the classroom to look for the “racism” at the school. “Oh my gosh, this is something that would happen in my dreams.” I say when she brings in three dancers and starts doing piques across the floor.
How stupid can I get? (then again this was several months ago, hopefully I’ve grown to recognize my dreamstates since then 
)
In February, I said this:
“People are growing up more - 17 year olds are becoming 22 year olds.”
Hey that’s a really cool thread
I got one.
My (dream) brother, angry at me after I made him do the wrist watch RC:
“Mmm 
, IT’S EFFECTIVE!” and he went back to reading his book.
I was apparently the engineer of a train, and I was moving along the tracks, when another train was coming on the same track on a collision course, and I say surreally:
“Oh my god. I’m going to die.”
I think I shoot 2 girls in a dream last night and after that I asked one of them “why does beautiful women always die in my dreams?”
I once read in a book:
“Karsh: The MOST appable”
An old man told me:
“When men are left alone, they die”
Waiting in a line at a themepark for the “Ice Klown King” ride:
“I really wish I’d brought my camera, I must eat this place”
I was a policeman when I was told by someone who wanted a member of their family killed:
“Now you must understand, Jam needs his sauce to be happy.”
Official men in suits chasing me with guns. Getting away in friends car when it dies out. He tells me something which I took as a wise old proverb:
“Y’know what they say… If you press a rose too hard, it crumbles.”
DarkseidEx
Those were absolutely great! Thanks for sharing.
When asking my Dad if he knew the black guy who was outside my house,
“No, but he sure has some big knives!”
attractive girl: hmm…you look even better if you’re closer to me!
attractive girl 2: May I pull your clothes off?
last night a man (which might be me) told me the following:
“a bolt is a broken place for cardboard insects”.
the other night i was living with amish people and i walked over to this girl and said:
“good marrow fair lady i feel as dandy as peas and apples when the sun does not shine through the clouds”
don’t ask.
Well this isnt anything big but ill share it anywho
B4 i do ill need to tell u guys about a previous dream that i had couple months ago where i saw a totally odd shaped abstract bridge…and i mean AbStraCt.
So the several nights ago i c another odd shaped bridge and acctually say: “Ive seen this bridge in my dream b4” …or something similar or along those lines. I only realized later in the day after waking up what a completely good oportunity of getting lucid i missed 
… o well maybe next time [/i]