My father died last week and I haven’t had any dream recall since before it happened except for one small detail of a dream that I forced myself to remember. Not long before my dad passed on, I was proud of myself for my ability to recall dreams every night (no occasional week-long droughts anymore) and I was also starting to recall more than one dream at a time upon waking…a great feat, I felt!
Every morning during the last week when I’ve awakened, I can feel the dreams that I’ve had, but I don’t feel like forcing myself to remember them and I also don’t feel like I should have to force myself so much after it was finally starting to become second nature.
I am smart enough to realize that trauma can affect activities that we enjoy, especially in my case, my dream recall. As much as I love dreaming, I guess I’ve just been a bit lethargic about dealing with my dreams under the circumstances. I was also in a minor car accident that could’ve been major…brake lines ruptured…about an hour before I found my father dead on his kitchen floor, so I actually have a lot going on emotionally right now. Starting tonight though, I am really going to make an effort to get back into my dreaming and I am hoping some day to finally gain control of my dreams and see my dad and talk to him while lucid.
I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this and would like to get some feedback. Thanks.
I am very sorry to hear that
My recall went down after my husband died. I would have days with no recall at all … not even vague memories of having dreamed. But eventually, I got back to my previous level.
So don’t be too hard on yourself for your recall and motivation going down.
/me hugs Cynster
I wish I knew what to say … but from personal experience, there will be a lot of LD4all members wishing to offer you some comfort. So if you want to talk (pm people you have talked to on the board - that includes me)
In 2 weeks there will be a year since i was in your situation.Same not only by loss of someone very close to me but also by the circumstances you wrote a bit about.
I cant imagine how my words could help,but im really sorry.
i wish i could do something and only thing i can think of is to talk to your friends.At the time i found two great people here- Moogle and Fixato.Till today and allways i feel appreciation towards them for talking to me then.It was holding me somehow,the more time passes ,the more i see how great they were.
You have Moogle`s invitation up there,you also have mine- pm me or else if anything.
ps.as to recall i dont know.Back then i had no recall at all and i didnt want it.Just wanted to go deep into nothingness without images or sound to have some rest.I didnt want to remember or keep on looking at what i went through on that day.
Stay strong there.
Thanks for your support, everyone. I’ve had a few recalls since I posted that message a week ago but my recall still isn’t back to the way it was before two weeks ago. I’ve gotten to the point now where I almost don’t think about my dad every single day so that’s getting easier, of course. Tomorrow would’ve been my dad’s birthday though (Dec. 1) so that’s another reminder, but I know he’s in a happy place.
Just knowing the people on this forum were here and would be supportive really helped me get through the first week or so after the funeral…I think there’s a special connection between fellow dreamers that I can’t always feel with other people in my life.
(And don’t be surprised, Moogle and Jack, if I PM you guys one of these days…thanks for the offers.)
My deepest condolences, and I hope your dreams can be a source of peace when you feel down.
****Hatedgremlin hugs Cynster