I’ve tried a dream project I wrote myself to find our totem animal. I ended up with a dream of sleeping in my bed with a few white tigers sitting around my bed, kind of worried at their presence.
That is probably your animal then. Check the list to see if the white tiger resembles you.
Carlos Castaneda found his spiret gide by going in to the forest and finding “his spot” and wating. He then maneged to “stop the world.” Than a cyotie, his spiret guid, came and talced to him. This came after much training and disaplen, but basicaly you know when the right time to find your spiret gide is.
Untill then, medatation is always good. One way to help shut off the internal diologe is by walking in a setane way. What you do is wile you walk you curle up your fingers slitly in a sort of clawing motion and you walk with out fokusing on anything keeping your atention an everything infront of you in 180 degrees. The way you do that is by crosing your eyes slitly and looking just above the herizon. It takes praktes to get this teckneeck to work. Usualy I can only do it for a wile befor i focas on somthing, but when I get it to work I can walk for quite a wile with eass. It also makes it so you tire less and have more indurence. Its werth a try anyway 
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Hope that helps and sory about the spelling.
all of you are so friendly and open. thank you so much for all your helpful suggestions and comments!
dark matter: about masturbation, it’s funny you said that, because i do it if i’m having a hard time sleeping. i should’ve put two and two together! 
sarah
toltec: don’t worry about the spelling - good for you being bilingual!