flirting with a guy I like (how to do it??)

Ok so I have this on another site too, but I thought It wouldn’t hurt to put it on her also and get even more suggestions. help is greatly thanked.
I know it sounds lame, but I am just so worried im gonna make an beep of myself infront of this guy I like. .
I don’t really know how to flirt that well, I mean I do, but I don’t. I haven’t really wanted to flirt with someone for some time now like probably 2 years or so, I was depressed and not really interested in gettign attention from who ever at the time I liked. I would just like them and pretty much keep it to myself and act with them like I do every one else.
but now I like this guy, and I want the attention, and to be noticed by him.
How can I do that?
My ? for guys is what do you like for girls to do when flirting (like big time flirting, obvious flirting, so obvious that you would have to be like stonned out of your mind to not notice them).

? for girls is what do you do to get the attention you want from guys.
and How can you play it cool, like you want the attention, but eh it’s ok if you don’t get it. what im really asking is how do you like pull a guy in? Well I guess that the ?s shouldn’t be seperated lol, I need to ask both genders the same but o well.

thanks guys. Im sorry I sound like such a dork but I am and I just need a lot of help with this. thanks.

You have to tailor flirting to the individual…for example I get really uncomfortable when girls overtly flirt with me…but I can have some pretty raunchy subtle flirting going on aswell. But some guys will need that knock on the head to say “hello!!! I’m over here!!!”

My advice… is just start it real casual and slow like (eg, just a smile and a fraction longer look in the eye), and then adding onto it with little things until you get response.

good luck!

that sounds like a good way to go about it. thanks.

I don’t think you should think so much about flirting, and instead, try your best to get closer to him in a genuine way. Look for common interests, reasons to be near him, etc. If you like someone, flirting comes naturally, and before you know what you’re doing, you’re acting dorkish and silly and giggly and you’re off and running. You have to establish a bit of a connection first, though. I don’t know about others, but I think flirting comes off better if it’s fairly subtle (but not too) and if it really is genuine (as in, not reminiscent of random pick-up lines scattered throughout a conversation). If you spend so much time thinking about the fact that you’re trying to flirt, well, it will probably blow up in your face. People don’t do as well with conversation if they’re constantly examining how they’re coming across. I think it hinders progress. Of course, I’m probably the wrong person to talk to, since I rarely flirt with people and find it a bit silly.

How to get his attention? Do the little things. Smile, and laugh, and show that you’re light-hearted and fun-loving. Keep unwavering eye contact for a few moments when your eyes first meet (a recent study shows that males are more attracted to females if they keep eye contact instead of looking away–it shows that they’re interested). Be as confident as you can despite the fact that your heart may be pounding in your chest. And make it clear that you do like him. You don’t have to come right out and say it (that could very easily scare him–-professing feelings almost always seems to scare them), but if you show it, and don’t play any head games or pretend to be more interested in somebody else to evoke jealousy, that should help.

It’s always tricky, and as Carnun said, the way you act really depends on the person you’re around. It isn’t hard to see what somebody likes and doesn’t like once you start spending time with them, so use that information to help you refine your flirting. Just start out slow, feel him out, and continue on from there. If it appears as though he’s not interested despite your best attempts to make him interested, take that as a sign that he may not be into you.

There’s this new book out called He’s Just Not That Into You. I haven’t read it, but it sounds pretty interesting and helpful for those confused about relationships. If it seems like nothing’s working, don’t compromise yourself and continue if you’re getting nothing in return. Tell yourself, He doesn’t know what he’s missing and gracefully bow out. No point pining away for some dope who can’t see you standing right in front of him.

Long post! I’m sure others will have some interesting things to share that may help you out. Good luck. :smile:

I’m not too experienced with this kind of thing but there are three tips I can give you

  1. Smile.
  2. Make eye contact.
  3. Wear your hair out.
    (This is one thing I have found very common acroos us guys is that we like to see the hair flowing over the shoulders, it’s very alluring)

Hope I helped a little. As I said I’m not very experienced with dating, but they’re three things I’ve found most guys find attractive.

Oh god, I don’t have a clue. I can’t flirt to save my life, and I don’t want to either. I have friends who do, and it just seems so fake and obvious that it’s really irritating. All the guys who have ever asked me out did so when I was just acting like my ordinary self. (Mind you, I wasn’t interested in any of them - I seem to attract the boys I DON’T like, sadly enough!)

So my tip is, just be yourself. Treat them like you would a friend, and they may be drawn to your personality!

I’d say try some kind of small physical contact, such as putting your hand on his shoulder, or touching him to get his attention, something like that.

Pick your nose and tell him you have chest hair.

Actually… don’t.


ask him what he likes, talk about it.

Does he ask about what you are wearing or anything if you get him to notice you?
If not, hes not ready for a relationship.

If he cares enough to ask you about comthing you like, keep him. Or if he does little things for you.

If not, ditch the moron. Otherwise youll just feel spent.

My two cents, a guy to a girl.

Might as well put my two bits in.

It is so irritating when a girl goes up to a guy and acts all interested in him, asking questions and stuff. I say just be yourself, be a friend, and you’ll get his attention easily enough. :love:

That’s just me, of course. (and I guess Stormthunder too) Maybe it’s differen’t where you live. Best of luck! :thumbs:

Dont know the best way,propably each of us have it different.
In my case ,cards on the table work best- “hi im … and i want this and that and then”.But then again i dont think it can be called flirt.

Well the men’s association is going to hunt me down and take away my membership card and probably beat me about the head with some sort of blunt object for telling you this but:

We are stupid and often insecure and tend to over analyze your signals. Therefore, your flirting should be obvious, as you put it “so obvious that you would have to be stoned to miss it”.

Case in point; there was this one person I liked that worked at a store I always went to on my way to and from work. I used to flirt with her all the time and I think she was flirting with me as well. But, I always rationalized away her actions as “she is just being nice to me because I a regular customer”(and other similar thoughts) Anyway, to make a long story short, she left to take another job and then one of the other employees there asked me why I never asked her out. She told me that the person I was interested in was very interested in me. The hole time I thought she was “just being nice”.

While we are at it lets put another myth aside. No men I know are intimidated by a girl/women who “makes a move”. Anyone who says differently is either a complete prude or incredibly wussy. However, you also want to be careful how forward you are. That last thread you posted about giving the guy your ph# taped to a condom is a bit too forward depending on your intentions. Unless the person you have an interest in is aware of your unique sense of humor. However, that kind of creative “out of the box” thinking you have will be a big plus for you. You just have to use it a little better.

A lot of the advice you have been given so far is good. Smiling and finding a way to touch the person. Touching is very important. I do not think smiling alone will do it but smiling and touching will give you a clue about what to do next. Obviously if the person pushes your hand away or seems uncomfortable about you touching him then you know he is probably not interested. However, if he just seems nervous don’t take that as a negative. In fact just ask him, “am I making you nervous?” While men are not intimidated by a women making a move the person might just be nervous about what to do.

Good luck

Very good advice milod789! btw women are the same way, a guy could be jumping up and down with a neon sign and I still won’t get it sometimes LOL! And BD please don’t tailor your flirting to any more than to what degree you do it…Be yourself!

hehhe…i agree with Milod but id put first lines bit different.
Make it obvious because it saves confusion(though i guess its a part of the flirt- all that guessing)- we males are bit blind if it comes to females “signals” but on the other hand very often those “signals” are hardly noticable- i guess both sexes should learn something from this thread.
Males- take closer look and hesitate less
Females- try giving signals that are bigger than bacterias

It is interesting how much alike we are than different. It is a wonder how we managed to procreate and survive as a species. :smile:

I know amazing isn’t it!

With advice like this (although in general its pretty true and decent!) I just can help imagining all the sexual harassment suits that could follow.:gni:

The cost of getting these signals wrong these days can be to high…

It’s sad but true!

Lol, I agree to milod. Unless the person is stoned of course :wink:

Only one thing I disagree on:

I don’t think a question like this would calm anyone.

Only one thing I disagree on:

I don’t think a question like this would calm anyone.

I doubt it too… I would personally start blabbing and talking even more(which I do when I get nervous)… If someone is nervous you should talk about some things he or she likes. That normally gets the nerves away.