Help - Any Techniques for Couples?

Back when I was sleeping by myself every night, it was easy to do all the relaxation techniques and milds and wilds and such that are described on the forum. But once summer ended and I got my boyfriend back, I sleep with him every night and I am a light sleeper so he often wakes me up from my NDs and LDs. It is hard to focus on WILD or MILD techniques because even the sound of his breathing is very distracting to me when I’m trying to remain conscious but fall asleep.

Do any of you couples out there have any suggestions?

Not talking from experience now but. You’ll probably get used to it in time. Try to not mind it. If it fails horribly, maybe you can try to syncronise your breath with his. Just some ideas.
I sometimes have to deal with noise in the morning, I got, those things that, block out sound, look like headphones.

Hmm! interesting about the synchronising breath. I don’t have a problem falling asleep with him, because we’ve been sleeping together for almost a year. But I have a problem having my body fall asleep before my mind does, so that I can do techniques.

Since the breathing is distracting me from focusing activities, perhaps focusing on our breathing will actually work well. But I take longer deeper breaths than he does when he sleeps, so I don’t know if that will work! But I shall try tonight and report back.

I also don’t sleep alone anymore either, and you do get used to it, but in a different way. For me, just like for Vi, falling asleep next to a person is not a problem - the problem is focusing on LDing (WILD, MILD and whatever else). Instead of getting used to it and re-focusing on LDing, I got used to not focusing on LDing so much :lol:.

Unfortunately, I don’t really have any good solutions (since I’m still “stuck” with this problem myself), except for maybe you could see the waking up in the middle of the night as an opportunity to do WBTB :razz:.

One approach you could experiment with is, when one of you wakes up before the other, whisper in their ear “you are dreaming”.

Tibettan monks use this approach in their monasteries.

You may want to try solitary naps on weekends. WBTB is more difficult with couples.

I have been sleeping with my wife longer then I have been working on LD’s. I have not had too many problems with that. Her breathing is also faster then mein, but I have had some success with concetrating on her breathing when doing WILD with WBTB. The biggest problem is that her breating is very inconsistant. That keeps breaking up my concetration.
I have gotten so used to sleeping with her that I have problems with LD’ing when she is not there.
Sometimes she will pur her arm around me, or I will put my arm around her. This can also be a point of concentration. I concentrate on the touch, and the warmth, then let it change into something else during HH. This may also take some time befor you get used to it. :grin:
I wish you both luck with your new siduation, and that the LD’s start coming back soon.

Ha! Try sharing a room with 4 sisters who snore! laughs I don’t mind though, I’ve gotten good at blocking them out so it doesn’t bother me. Have you tried earplugs or something? Maybe if your bed is big enough, (we’ve done this,) you can put two twin sized matresses together to form a bigger bed but as long as he doesn’t touch your side him moving around shouldn’t bother you. :tongue:

I thought that was the purpose of remaining conscious? If your body is really asleep, then you are very close to enter a dream consciously.

I’ll just echo this.

Try to syncronise with his breath. Other than that it’s just something to get used to.

well, the only tip i can give you is to get some earplugs. You don’t hear anything except your own breath and heartbeat.

I always sleep with earplugs. :yes:

Another earplug sleeper! :cool_laugh: I haven’t slept with earplugs lately, since I only used them back when I took naps in the afternoon or had trouble falling asleep. Having nothing to concentrate on but your breathing and heartbeat can work wonders when I have distractions or just some trouble getting to sleep. :good: