Hey Guys,
How are you doing? 
.Before I explain my problem, I would like to first mention all my experiences with lucidity (maybe they will help 
).
Ok so I started with LD’s some years ago, to cut a long story short I was fascinated by them and I was so excited that I had my first LD the day after I first heard about them. Yep in one day . Time passed by and I was kind of bored to “practice” LD’s.
Well, now I can stand it anymore. It is one of my only ways to find freedom. It is kind of strange but because I know how it feels to have an LD, I feel like it is the only way in which I have found complete freedom. It is a necesary escpape for me, I also seek some answers.
When these feelings started taking over me, I thought to myself: "Ok simple, I am gonna read that book again (exploring the world of lucid dreaming). So I started trying to LD again. But I have come across some problems(finally we get to those! 
). My first problem is this strange uncomitment, while I really want to LD some part of me rejects it, so I don’t follow my goals (write down my dreams, whatch out for Dream signs, relax before sleeping, wake up with the alarm clock). I so not know why but myself refuses to do as I want
My other problem is this one, while I have come so so so so so close to having LD’s here is what happens. As soon as I understand that I am dreaming (Reality Check) I feel like I am also half awake in real life. So I get a little bit of control of the dream but I do not have sences in the dream, but I feel like I am in my bed with my eyes clozed but awake, so it feels like I am not sleeping or dreaming for that matter. Although I am sure I am, I am able to control myself in the dream plus in the real world. It feels as if I am lying in my bed with my eyes clozed and I am controlling another version of myself. It feels like I am two!! I tried controlling my dream self to spin but it changed into another ladnscape with the same effect.
I know that it probably makes no sence but I am so confused and this bothers me a lot, 
if you do not understand maybe you would like to chat (PM) about it? I could try to explain better there. Feel free to pm, post contact me in any way. I apreciate all the help,
Thanks a lot Steve, (oh and please excuse my English, I am not a native speaker 