I'm so lost.

recently I lost a very close friend of mine, she means alot to me and i messed things up big time.

She won’t even talk to me now, however i try and contact her she simply ignores me. I really miss her and want that friendship back but no matter what i do i get nothing.

I really messed up and all i’m getting is that she just doesn’t care. Unlike her i can’t just turn my feelings off and pretend she doesn’t exsist, I miss her and it hurts.

Does anyone have suggestions as to how I might be able to get her to at least talk to me?

I hate to say this, but for a short while at least, you should back off. If pushed, she will just go further away. If you allow her some space and time to distance her self from the situation and let her emotions settle, it is more likely you will get an opportunity to rectify things. It is very hard to do this, but relationships are not easy.

The second thing is to try to remain humble about it. This might sound crazy, but if you try and try and get nothing, you might start to feel resentful. Then when she comes to you or is willing to talk to you, if you are resentful, you might blow the whole thing again.

Also, if you are really hurt by the situation, regardless of who caused it, please please please take time for yourself. Do something you really enjoy. Try to get your mind off the situtation, because I can tell you from experience, you probably aren’t thinking clearly either.

You might feel panicked, and feel like you have to do SOMETHING. That, in my experience, is a mistake. Continue to be the person you have always been, and be ready when the opportunity presents itself. If you get too neurotic (which is human nature, by the way) about the whole thing, you will just drive her away.

Finally, it is only your responsibility to admit you did something wrong and ask to be forgiven. While you want your friend back, it is ultimately her decision, and you can’t be responsible for her actions or reactions. She has the right to her decision, but if she is the kind of person you really want for a long-term friend, it is likely she will eventually come around.

Hang in there. Things seem bad now, but they WILL get better. :smile:

I agree. Give it some time.

I also think that it depends on how serious it is. I can tell from my experience, that although I loved one person, I do not communicate with him anymore. Because he used all my trust for selfish reasons, that can be forgiven, but my trust cant be renewed. So not even friendship is possible anymore.
If you lost her trust, then take a long long time to get it back.
No rush here.

Telling her that you have changed or this and that is not true, simply wont work, sometimes even “I am sorry” doesnt work, But you should definitely try that, though.
You have to show her that you care, and are true to her… Not by telling her, but by showing and by being patient.

Maybe try communicating indirectly, by email or so about things she would be interested in, just show her that you still care, but without putting any pressure on her to reply to you.
And with time she will hopefuly start talking to you again :smile: :smile:

You`d be suprised how much i can relate to your story.Ive been there in the hell of miss and hurt.With the great help of my friends in real life and here on Sealife chat(greetings Moogie and Fix) i somehow managed to go through it.
I dont want to picture my story here,so to make it short- you have two great advices allready up there.It will all go back to normal in time,you just need to stop trying pushing things.That means to resign from any contacts right now.
I know it sounds close to impossibile and its hard to do- like quitting the addiction.
Do other things,block yourself from thinking about it.Theres the light on the end and you will see it one day,even though you now think its impossibile,believe its true.And it makes us stronger in the end.
Anyways…you can allways catch me or many other ready to talk people on ld4all chat or Sealife chat.
all the best

Well thanks for the advices guys (such a belated reply)

In retrospect alot of it was my own fault, anyways two days ago I wrote her an email. It was in no way to get her back in my life or any such thing, I was simply letting my demons go, it was something I felt I needed to do and I felt much better for it.

Well I went to bed right after that, I certainly was not expecting a reply in the morning. It’s been nearly 7months now and we are back on speaking terms. I guess time really can heal all wounds if you’re willing to let it. :wiske:

Why not use Lucid Dreaming to enter her dream and fake you’re an omen telling her to return to you or she will suffer?

Because someone coming back of their own free will means more than forcing them to do so.

hides knife behind back

These last 2 posts are slightly worrying :wink: