Actually the weather is pretty fine. Not one of those hot sunny days, but it’s a cool “good-to-live” atmosphere.
I saw BD87’s post and I thought of posting about this.
OK - I didn’t use to be like this, or at least I don’t remember.
In the past year or so, I noticed that I have some difficulty, showing good feelings towards people.
I find it very hard to say “I like you” or even harder, “I like you a lot”. “I love you” doesn’t come in my dictionary.
If I want to show hatred for someone that’s easier. Although I don’t do it much.
I have trouble shaking hands, or holding a girl’s hand. I have trouble showing affection for anyone, my mom, dad, etc.
I know(?) I like them. In fact, that’s a lie. I don’t even know. I’m starting to doubt my self wether or not I like ANYONE!
It’s fucked up.
My advice would be to try to notice the ‘happy thoughts’ when they happen, and really appreciate them, concentrate on expressing them without fear, etc.
Its really good you are not lying to yourself. Your straightforward and honest with yourself and thats good.
I suggest you observe your mind when you have these feelings and tell yourself “Why do i have these feelings?” “What have they ever done to me.”
Try keeping a journal and be observant with yourself. Try changing the things in your personality you don’t like by meditation and working on the things you don’t like about yourself.
As far as I can tell, I’ve always been pretty “Warm”!
The depression I’m “comming out off” is probably a cause.
I remember talking to people and saying “Your Cool” and all that, without having any problem! It was something natural, and now it’s not! I feel what I like about someone and what I don’t fighting with each other, so I can’t say I like someone. We all dislike something about everyone, right? (I can’t be the only one on this…)
But didn’t even used to think about this, before. If I wanted to show apreciation(spl?) I would, If I wanted to show something else I would. No problem.
I think meditation can be helpfull. It sure felt like it, the few times I managed to do it.
I agree Phatidico… Meditation would be helpful. But you aren’t alone in this matter. There are alot of people that are like that.
I enjoy people but there are some that just rub me the wrong way. There are times that I can walk into a room and instantly take a disliking to someone and I won’t even acknowledge them. Unfortunately, the kindness in me makes me give them a chance, only to find out that I should have gone with first instincts.
Try helping out some people around you, maybe community service; or helping out family if you can stand them. I had this same problem for a while, mediation and helping others out really helped me. I usually say what I feel very easily and can suppress this just as easily.
I think the problem could bethat your a guy, there’s a reason showing affection and similar is called getting in touch with your feminine side. It’s like defiance said it’s pretty normal.
P.S. This might seem a bit sexist but male and female brains are wired differently, a difficulty expressing positive emotions is common among guys.
I think I kind of understand my problem in a strange way.
My confidence was hurt. So I recovered it, partly. So to prove that I’m OK i can’t show others sincere affection.
something like this
And here I was expecting something to do with the weather, lol.
Well, it doesn’t seem unusual to me, but that may just be because I feel quite similar typically. (Except with shaking hands - no problems there!)
I get very, very, very shy around boys I like. Around everybody else I’m a bit of a chatterbox, really, but for some reason it changes when I have a crush. I think it’s normal - I’ve met lots of guys who tell me they get nervous around girls, so I guess it works both ways. I highly doubt it’s depression, anyway - as I understand it, depression is more about feeling sad than an inability to express oneself.
In my opinion, just because you don’t tell people you like them doesn’t mean you don’t really care about them. In fact, I actually prefer it when people don’t start getting all soppy and touchy-feely, because I tend to get the impression they’re putting on a public show just for appearance’s sake. But of course, it depends on the person.
Yet the “coldness” strikes again.
Thanks a lot for all the advice but, I think that the beeing cold has more to do with the not good acceptance of myself.
Maybe there has always been a colder side on me, but as I learnt not to like me that much, I learnt not to like others. It’s like if my non-acceptance turns into not accepting others.
How can I learn acceptance again? Meditation? LDing?
BTW - This cold thing makes it very hard for me to fall in love… And I think I really need a good relationship! =( buuuaaaa
peace@us.all
Cairn - I think those differences are imposed by society. And I don’t think that’s the problem in my case, I’m a pretty feminin guy!
You can’t love someone else until you learn to love yourself. Find yourself and know yourself. Because when you find your “good relationship” you don’t want to flood it with your insecurities.
Aww…
