Since my last posts a week or two ago, I’ve noticed that dream-me has developed this sort of “will” to become lucid. That is, in the middle of a dream, I will randomly and without further warning just decide to become lucid. I usually say “I’m gonna become lucid now!!!” and it just happens. It’s kinda funny, because I religiously do reality checks and they never seem to appear in my LDs. Anybody else experience something like this? You’re in the middle of a regular dream, then out of nowhere the dream-you just blurts out “Lucid now!!!” and sure enough you become lucid?
But another weird thing is that in several of my recent LDs, I was… Blind? There’s no other way I can think of saying it. Basically, I am in a dream… I then “will” myself to lucidity as described in the above paragraph… And then, I feel a surge of numbness and realization through my body (that is my own sign of lucidity). But once I become aware, conscious that I am in a dream, everything goes black. I can still hear my thoughts, and I know that I am not awake because I can feel motion when I try to move my limbs, spin around, walk, etc. However, there is zero imagery — just blackness. When I was taking a nap earlier today, this happened to me again, and I tried to will my vision back. It came back, but only for a very short moment. On top of that, it was a vision my regular, waking life room, so it wasn’t much. =\
Any thoughts? Could it have been a false LD? I know very well the feeling of becoming lucid, but I won’t throw out the possibility that it was false.
Did you actually realize that you were dreaming during the dream or did you just consider yourself “lucid”?
If you knew you were dreaming then it was a lucid dream and if you just though “Hey! I’m lucid!”, but never realized you were dreaming it was a fake lucid dream.
Have you tried imagining a new dream scene? If that doesn’t work, just rub your hands together or spin.
This is interesting because in my dreams I tend to either lose lucidity or wake up when I close my eyes. I think this is due to the lack of sensory input my brain has to generate when creating the scene.
I would say at this point you have been associated into a pattern (like the psychological term ‘association’). You seem to go into lucids automatically, and your brain has associated lucids with going blind. Think of it this way: you have two minds. There is you, conscious observer and participator in the world around you, and then there is your subconscious, which is just as real and has its own desires and beliefs that it may not share with the conscious you. Your subconscious believes you must go blind, and everytime it happens it only reinforces that belief. You will have to break it.
My advice is the next time it happens just laugh it off, or pay very little attention to it. Enjoy your blind self! When it starts to happen and you try to stop it, your fear probably reinforces it, too. Just let it happen and remind yourself that it’s silly to think it must be that way, but don’t try to convince yourself, because the subcnscious does not respond to reason, only to emotion and association - for that matter, DO NOT become emotional over it (angry, depressed, etc.). Just minimize it so that your subconscious learns its not really a big deal, and then you may have more luck preventing it in the future.