So, I have had many many lucid dreams in the past. When I was younger I would have a petrifying nightmare every night where I would die in some horrific way and lucid dreaming is how I had finally ended it from ever happening again. . . Until now.
Recently (the past few weeks), every night I fall asleep to navigate a post apocalyptic world where everyone I care about is either dead, kidnapped, or lost. This dream will last for a good long while but always ends with the same conclusion; I die in some stupid way and the dream keeps going. Dying is actually a fairly relaxing experience once the intense fear subsides. From that point on in every dream I’ll realize that I’m actually asleep, just floating there in the darkness, but I can’t wake myself up. So I’ll create a new world to continue in. The odd part is that the world will start to populate with people that I don’t feel like I’m creating. Every person encountered then speaks of “The Controller”; the entity that keeps me in the dream world and doesn’t want to let me go. . . And I can’t wake up. Believe me, I’ve tried everything. I’ve been lucid dreaming for years now. It’s not like my past lucid dreams. I can’t control them anymore; not completely. It’s like I have dual creation rights, but The Controller can trump my decisions and my creations are faulty. Everything I try to create is somehow dimensionally fractured. Gravity, rules of physical 3 dimensional space, and all laws of physics change rapidly with no warning. I have tried making more simplistic objects like untextured 3d rendered blocks and they seem to last longer and be more easy for me to keep stable than other things that I’ve made. It seems like eternity will pass in a world that I can not really create anything that will stay for more than a moment unless I continuously focus on it, I’ll be thrown miles through the air like a rag doll at random, and it’s impossible to wake from. When I finally wake I fly out of bed swearing and my brain feels extremely dehydrated.
Seriously, I think I’d prefer to have my insomnia to kick in worse like it was when I was a teenager (sleeping for under 30 min per night) because this partial insomnia partial nightmare thing is getting old fast.
Also note- I have tried just staying in the darkness when I realize it’s a dream and it gets way worse. Additionally, these dreams keep me dead to the real world for extremely long periods of time. Sometimes up to 15 hours.
Has anyone experienced anything like this before? I’m starting to worry that there’s actually something medically wrong with me.
Well to my knowledge sleep cycle is happening in this way:
N-REM sleep:
stage - hypnogogic state
stage - light sleep
& 4. stage - deep sleep (before there was only stage 3 - deep sleep, now they divided that into 2 stages of deep sleep - 3 & 4)
after stages 3 and 4 are completed you will go back to stages 2 and 3 and that’s happening for about 90 - 120 minutes.
After that comes REM sleep.
When REM is finished we have brief awakening and then again N-REM sleep begins and so on.
So technically you can’t dream for more than 3 hours and if you take under consideration that most of the dreams that we remember that they occur in REM sleep which is the shortest period of sleep. Some studies shown that at the end of the sleeping cycle when N-REM sleep is shorter and REM sleep is longer that REM sleep might last 45 - 60 minutes.
Which means that after that you will wake up and then again maybe fall asleep. But you technically can’t dream longer than that at once…
I’ve never experienced something like this. I can recall from time to time that I’m waking up regularly and time is matching what is known about sleep cycles. So I guess you might wanna check up with doctor just to be sure.
Sleep disorders aren’t something new so they can help you. Specially if you are experienced LD’er and you know that things are off.
It’s what I have been assuming that it is. Some form of internal conflict where I have to try to outwit instinct/subconscious to be able to get to what I actually need to survive. It’s pushed me to develop very different theories on tiers of conciousness compared to what I had once thought. This is a excerpt of something I wrote on those developing theories https://thecannibalistictimes.tumblr.com/post/41250109277/i-think-that-i-have-figured-out-why-i-have-tested-into
It’s long but if you want something to read then there it is. Ironically it talks about destroying the barriers of the concious and subconscious so maybe this is all resulting from me challenging myself.
What I’m looking for is something new to try. Not something to try and wake up, because I’m pretty sure I’ve tried every strategy there. Something unconventional to do to the environment to bait or piss off The Controller. Whatever side of my consciousness that’s populating these dreams with people and acting as The Controller, I want to confront it. I want to figure out where the entity derives from to understand it, but it always stays out of reach. I have considered surrendering to it while keeping in mind that it’s just a dream just to see what would happen, but do you know how scary a thought it is to surrender to something that says it wants to make you comatose? I don’t think that I want to take that route.
It has control because it’s part of you, but you have control over it because it is part of you. It’s like an arm that would act on it’s own if you don’t give it anything to do. If you do surrender, it’ll probably cause everything to go out of control. You wouldn’t get hurt, but things could get real trippy.
Have you ever met this entity, and talked to it? If that doesn’t help, you could always try fighting it.
When this happened to me, there were three of these powerful entities. Last time I saw them, they were arguing with each other and me, and then they began fighting, causing the dream to go into havoc and de-stablize. I stopped it by asserting my authority by telling them that they’re just parts of me, and that I decide what happens. Even then one of them turned up later and started messing with dream characters, much to my annoyance.
Are these things dangerous? Is it possible that these entities are too powerful to defeat? Iv’e just started on trying to become lucid but haven’t got there yet and really want to know what to do should this happen to me! Does anyone plz have an answer for me?
To not be able to wake from a lucid dream isn’t common. If you ever have dreams like this (with separate entities) then attempt to regain control and/or confront it. These type of dreams is a display of internal conflict and you can learn/grow a lot if you are able to get the entity to display itself honestly. You can not defeat it because it is you. You can only find resolve with whatever is causing it. At that point the conflict/entity ceases to be. If it gets bad then you should just try to wake.
I have been thinking on this a bit and whatever conflict that I have haunting me; I will not let myself confront it for whatever reason and yet, at the same time, I apparently see it to be important enough to not allow myself to wake to avoid it. So, I suppose that I am conflicted to whether or not I want to resolve my conflict. For me to be doing this it must be a strong issue within logic vs. emotion. Normal fears would cause something more simple of emerging of entity to confrontation to avoidance but since it’s emerging of entity to confrontation to avoidance to redirection? I could only guess that there’s a fair amount of guilt associated with this conflict. Apocalyptic guilt. . .
It will take me awhile to decrypt what this is, but I’m fairly certain you shouldn’t be worried about having it as an issue.
What were they arguing about, do you remember?
Thanks. It may seem like I ignored your post, but I didn’t. It helped break some of this open for me.
For me to be doing this it must be a strong issue within logic vs. emotion. Normal fears would cause something more simple of