I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this… it’s just kind of a weird problem I’ve been having in my LDs.
So first of all, I love having lucid dreams. I’ve been having them since I was about 12 and they’ve always been a major hobby and interest. They would usually be about flying or going on adventures with DCs. But recently, I’ve been having LDs of a more… intimate nature. Bear in mind that even though I’m 19, I have never had a relationship before in waking life (strict parents or poor options) so I have no real life experience. I’d dream about handsome guys wanting to kiss me or me wanting to kiss them and hell yeah I’d go for it but something really… unpleasant would always happen. For example, the guy would hug me but then slowly start squeezing the life out of me and I’d start panicking and wake up or I’d get to kiss him but it would be the slimiest most disgusting feeling ever… almost like he has muddy jelly for lips or something. One time I was going in for a kiss but then suddenly I got powerfully blown back by some kind of invisible force field. Another time, it was a girl kissing me but then it was like her mouth was over-flowing with saliva and she emptied it into my mouth and I just woke up wanting to puke.
I don’t know what’s up. Am I subconsciously disgusted with the concept of kissing? Am I the only one this happens to? Can I fix this?
Nah, I can relate to it, I think you could just use it as a good dream sign and avoid the kissing for now. It will eventually go away and things should improve.
Perhaps you are too worried about trusting other people in such relationships and your dreams are in fact showing you this concern. I just recommend to take it easy.
What you describe sounds like your unconscious trying to resist what you’re trying to do. In my experience, there can be several reasons for running into resistance:
a) If your unconscious doesn’t know how to simulate what you’re trying to do (e.g. because you don’t have any memories to base the dream on). If you don’t have much real life sexual experience yet. this could be the reason.
b) The excitement of sex can lead to waking up out of a dream. So possibly your unconscious is trying to prevent you from doing something that will make you wake up (i.e. “Not now, I’m trying to sleep”). I think this is close to one of Freud’s theories. Note that the resistance isn’t to sex in general, just to sex when parts of your brain are trying to get some sleep and not in the mood for it.
c) Your unconscious might be quite picky on the exact person to perform sexual acts with (i.e. “yes, but not with them”)
or d) The excitement of doing something sexual causes you to partly wake up, which destabilizes the dream and causes it to break up into a nightmare.
almostsinister, no, you are definitely not the only one. Sometimes even when you are lucid and ‘in control’ things don’t turn out how you expect. I’ve personally had many such encounters go weird… but then plenty that turn out just as expected.
Perception and belief play an enormous part in lucid dreams, so now that you have had several of these similar experiences, you will half-expect it. And if you expect or fear that something will happen while lucid, it normally does.
How does kissing work out for you in normal dreams?
I think the key is to take it easy, not to get hung up on it and to believe/recognise that this is just a dream control issue that can be overcome like any other.
