Meditation problems.

First of all, I’d like to describe something that just happened to me, probably about 20-35 minutes ago.

I was wavering in and out of consciousness, and when I came back to, rather forcefully, there was a BRIGHT white explosion above my head… like electricity… it was very small and concentrated and make a loud crackling pop…

This was then followed by a sense of general heaviness/drowsiness… and sinking… I thought “i must be entering paralysis” and I felt a black presence to the left of my head… I say “felt” but in some kind of way, I actually saw it, as if seeing it through my peripheral vision, through my closed eyelids, as if it were in the physical, not inside my head.

The electric explosion felt the same way… I kept thinking “was that real? It can’t be… you don’t have a light above your head?.. was it the light on the fan? How? The light on the fan isn’t on!!!”

It was very trippy, kind of a bit scary… but I never actually entered paralysis.

Towards the end of my session I came to with feelings and sounds of electricity in my ears… the best way for to describe it is the track (-)ions on Ænima… it sounded a lot like that, just way more quiet… there was a small elecrtical feeling in them, not too noticeable, but it would occasionally “pop” back and forth.

So anyway, I thought that was pretty cool… I don’t know what exactly it means…

On to the problem.

I know that if you reach the hypnagogic state, you can enter a dream from it.

I can enter the hypnagogic state easily… but when I do… it’s kind of like I’m sleeping, or not conscious anymore… there is a consciousness there, that I am loosely aware of and observing… but there isn’t really a sense of self, no sense of direction, or thought… it’s just basically “listen to the pretty music” and then I’ll get a myoclonic jerk out of it… back into normal thinking.

So… I think the problem is, my goal, intent, desire, it is establish in my CONSCIOUS mind, and when I carry over into the unconscious mind… the conscious is still there, and it’s like HEY pay attention to me, or something… and it trys to take control of things… whereas, the goal should exist in both minds and they should cooperate with each other to smoothly transition me into an unconscious mode and ignore the conscious mind, providing it’s still “on”…

I don’t know… that doesn’t make a ton of sense, but it just dawned on me right this moment.

I think the problem specifically is that the person doing the observing, me, is still losely conscious… so there is a tendency to remember the body, or remember that I stopped thinking… I want to shift my awareness and consciousness into something else, either a false construct of me (like a dream body) or an astral body, or whatever… I don’t know.

But nevertheless my problem is I can’t stay focused inside the hypnagogic hallucinations… this means that I cannot hold onto and deepen them, because I only really “see” them when they are over, and then it’s usually too late to hold onto them, because they are already fading away.

Does anybody know any methods to either:
let me SLEEP so that I enter a dream and hope for lucidity
consciously enter hypnagogic hallucinations.
consciously enter paralysis
stay “asleep” long enough so that when I jolt out of HI, I am already in paralysis?

I’ve been at this for months and all it’s done is kind of taught me a bit about what HI can be like… I’ll find that when I’m deep enough (but still focused) I can look at my eye lids, and sort of buried beneath a “sheet” of blackness, lie geometric figures, they are very pretty… but the thing is I’m too groggy to focus on them for very long, and I end up seeing dream scenes (which kills my concentration and causes the jerk to happen)

So I don’t know… maybe if after I got to that point I got up and walked around a bit then went back and tried it’d work… maybe not.

I really detest active meditations that require visualization and extreme imagination and whatnot… “rope” doesn’t work for me, not unless I’m already in a trance.

I’m not too great at focusing… this method is fantastically easy and fast, it’s just that… I can’t do anything with it once I get there.

I can get HI easily too and everything you wrote is pretty much what I experience almost every night when I go to sleep. I too have been trying several months and it would be great to find a way to enter a dream when I go to sleep.

this is getting pretty frustrating…

i feel like i always have a connection to the images at all times but i don’t know how to tune in (without falling asleep)

The white light was you’re third eye chakra opening- You may have experianced a kundalini! (an awakening of your third eye!) or… it could have just been really intense HI…

I wish it was as easy for me as it is you! :content:

well it’s nothing to be proud of, because i’m not conscious during the HI, just when I leave them… well… it feels like i’m 5% awake.

but anyway, today, i actually manage to hold onto hypnagogics for a few moments after waking up out of them… one time it felt like I almost held onto it enough to enter a trance, but then at the last second it faded away. :sad:

one of them was black cursive writing that said something like “welcome to heaven” hmm…

No electric explosion above my head though.

I wasn’t trying to force HH this time though I was just letting them naturally come, so the jerks out weren’t as intense, nor did I get as deep as I sometimes can.

My self hypnosis attempt from last night’s LD failed sadly, the keyword got me into paralysis during the morning, but it must have worn off now.

Maybe I need to get a few thousand DCs to chant my suggestions into my mind with me…

Holy reality, the same thing happens to me, when I get to HI , I’m never conscious enough to remember anything or to guide myself anywhere.

And about the bright light, it also happens to me sometimes. Usually its as if everything turned white for a second in my head, and then turned back to the normal color. I usualy hear a small noise, and sometimes I get a spasm in my body. usually, it makes me more awake, not closer to dreaming or to SP

this stuff is really frustrating, I get so deep into images and then BAM I’m out, I was really tired today around one and tried to take a nap, and I just could not for the life of me fall asleep.

I remmber seeing lots of pink and blue, and 2 girls were talking to each other, something about “Ginger”…

then I remember seeing some sort of vehicle… and when I came to (abrupt jerk awake, of course) it was still loosely there and I imagined myself jumping into it and speeding away, well, it made me feel weird, but nothing.


I don’t know what to do, maybe I need to make a recording of me saying “go deeper, stay inside” on loop and listen to it once I get drowsy…?