My complaint about LD4All

Lucid Lounge
21

Duuuude, last night I generated the attached letter, pasted it into word, added things like the date "Dear " and “Sincerely, Tighe” SIGNED it, folded it up in an envelope and wrote <store manager’s name> on it. When I got to work I walked up to him, thrust it into his hands and stormed off. When I was out of the office I was laughing my pants off!! I was up front (I work in The Real Canadian Wholesale Club – produce section) and seriously laughing out loud and customers are walking by like “What the–?!”

Anyway, the letter became the theme of the day. Everyone read it. The manager came up to me after and was like “Tighe, you are seriously twisted…” Then we talked about it. He handed it to my other supervisor, saying nothing about how it was a prank, and he read it. I watched him read it too, and he was all serious. He asked me after “So… what exactly are you trying to say?” in a stern voice. LOL Lots of other employees read it throughout the day. The managers had a meeting (as they do every Friday) and brought up some of the issues. LOL (as a gag on all the other managers) It was photocopied and posted on their bulletins. I narrated the final paragraph in a very angry voice (took so many takes to get it perfect) on my friends cell phones’ voice memo and he found it, and played it back to all the managers too. Man, it totally made the day go so well because everyone was laughing all the time! Eventually everyone was let in that it was generated on a website, and so now I got lots of people asking me for the address.

Just thought I’d share the experience with ya. :happy: Here’s the letter:

Dear ,

There are many venom-spouting reavers who want to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. One – the Wholesale Club – is so sententious, it deserves special mention. But first, I’m going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how the Wholesale Club doesn’t understand politics or simply doesn’t care. Then, I’ll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, the Wholesale Club can’t attack my ideas, so it attacks me. It could be worse, I suppose. It could make individuals indifferent to the survival of their families. True, this is a fine example of what I’ve been talking about, but if the Wholesale Club truly believes that racialism brings one closer to nirvana, then maybe it should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101. The Wholesale Club’s dupes say that nothing would help society more than for them to base racial definitions on lineage, phrenological characteristics, skin hue, and religion. Sorry, I don’t buy that.

The Wholesale Club’s ideological colors may have changed over the years. Nevertheless, its core principle has remained the same: to spoil the whole Zen Buddhist New Age mystical rock-worshipping aura of our body chakras. If you don’t believe me, then note that I’m not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes organizations like the Wholesale Club want to exercise control through indirect coercion or through psychological pressure or manipulation. From what I understand, given the amount of misinformation that the Wholesale Club is circulating, I must point out that its brethren say, “Cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding.” Yes, I’m afraid they really do talk like that. It’s the only way for them to conceal that the Wholesale Club finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, the Wholesale Club wants to impact public policy for years to come. It gets better: It believes that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. I guess no one’s ever told it that whenever anyone states the obvious – that its agendas are a relic of a brown-nosing, clumsy past – discussion naturally progresses towards the question, “Why can’t we simply agree to disagree?” Well, if I knew that, I’d be in Stockholm picking up my prize and a sizable check. The antithesis of cold-blooded, uneducated sesquipedalianism is moral, religious, and cultural solidarity among the people of a nation, so to speak. One thing is certain: The Wholesale Club has been deluding people into believing that I’m too unrealistic to bring meaning, direction, and purpose into our lives. Don’t let it delude you, too.

It’s good that you’re reading this letter. It’s good that you’re listening to what I’m saying. But reading and listening aren’t enough. You must also be willing to help me tell the Wholesale Club where it can stick it. If the Wholesale Club can’t be reasoned out of its prejudices, it must be laughed out of them. If the Wholesale Club can’t be argued out of its selfishness, it must be shamed out of it. I hope I haven’t bored you by writing an entire letter about the Wholesale Club. Still, this letter was the best way to explain to you that it is ridiculous that I have to be faced with four-flushers whose heinous cajoleries are treated with apathy.

Sincerely,

22

LOL!! I saw the topic and was like, what, a complaint?! Then I said what, FROM A MOD!!! I continued reading and was like what the hell is this guy getting at? I completely disagree with his opinion, I think…whatever it is… I find it funny that Seraphim™ was going to join your cause. :tongue: In fact, I was about to check and see if Q had replied, and if not, PM her to see if she could sort out this pure crap! :cool:

23

:rofl: skidzz, that is hilarious :happy: thanks for sharing :gni:

24

wow, that is cool, Skidzz! :smile:

25

I don’t know how to tell you this, but Mr. Atheist is as ostentatious as the sky is blue. You see, I truly believe that according to Atheist’s blockish logic, it would be beneficial for devious, soulless dingbats to overthrow democratic political systems. And because of that belief, I’m going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I’m going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that Atheist thinks that the sky is falling. However, his bestial, disruptive anecdotes induce paralysis of the cerebrum.

He accuses me of being hate-filled, yet it is he who is filled with hate. And he accuses me of being bigoted, while his views show nothing but bigotry. Why does Atheist make those sorts of accusations, then? This is not a question that we should run away from. Rather, it is something that needs to be addressed quickly and directly, because if we investigate Atheist’s obstreperous principles, ideals, and objectives, then the sea of neocolonialism, on which Atheist so heavily relies, will begin to dry up.

When he was first found trying to require schoolchildren to be taught that he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing classism, I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that Atheist is planning to usher in the rule of the Antichrist and the apocalyptic end times, I’m undeniably downright terrified. Would he like it if I were fork-tongued and obscene, too? I don’t think so. It seems to me that he is both unctuous and pretentious. Now there’s a dangerous combination if I’ve ever seen one. There is no compelling moral or economic reason why Mr. Atheist should brand me as uninformed. That is why, come what may, we must take action.

26

Funny skidzz :content:.

27

Its easier to understand all those medical or sciencific articles than that.I never thought that reading complaints can be so challenging:)

28

Yeah, lol. I can get most of the individual words, but stringing them together in a way that makes sense… :bored:

29

Hehe. The purpose of using big words (I assume) is to make it harder to understand what the complaint is actually about. Which is, of course, absolutely nothing. The generated complaint just says, “this person’s argument is worthless, and they’re a bad person in general” over and over, in a myriad of different ways. It’s really quite funny watching someone try to read it while they’re still under the impression that it’s genuine. :grin:

Wow, maybe it’s not as random as I thought. :wink:

30

I loved that first complaint Atheist.
I was like , “Wait, he hasn’t said what he was complaining about :eh: What up with that??”
Good stuff :smile:

31

My head hurts…anyone have a dictionary? :read:

32

Ath, some things in your complaint actually connected with LD4all, especially that sentence about bully’s in the playground, i thought you where talking about the playground forum :razz:

DA: complaint noted :razz: It’s not a glitch, it’s a feature :wink:

oh! I forgot, I’m on holiday so no mod adding :tongue:

33

I found this and couldn’t believe that anyone could complain about LD4all…

34

Hehe, funny eh? :grin:

35

As much as some people may disagree with the following observations, I stand firmly by them. But first, let me pose you a question: Is Pres. George W. Bush actually concerned about any of us, or does he just want to inure us to licentious, unruly militarism? After reading this letter, you’ll indubitably find it’s the latter. I once told him that you shouldn’t take threats made by the most ethically bankrupt prophets of vigilantism you’ll ever see too seriously. How did he respond to that? He proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that if my memory serves me correctly, Pres. Bush wants us to feel sorry for the ornery Neanderthals who abet ethnic genocide, dictatorships, and the most dastardly ingrates I’ve ever seen. I assert we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that if I had to choose the most contumelious specimen from Pres. Bush’s welter of pigheaded gabble, it would have to be Pres. Bush’s claim that he would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform a deplorable act.

In essence, if I were a complete sap, I’d believe Pres. Bush’s line that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. Unfortunately for him, I realize that if Pres. Bush wants to complain, he should have an argument. He shouldn’t just throw out the word “preterdiplomatically”, for example, and expect us to be scared. He never stops boasting about his generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, Pres. Bush’s claimed magnanimousness is totally chimerical and, furthermore, when you tell Pres. Bush’s slaves that Pres. Bush and his flunkies are the most misguided conspiracy theorists you can imagine – and even then, only in your worst nightmares – they begin to get fidgety, and their eyes begin to wander. They really don’t care. They have no interest in hearing that it doesn’t do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of his philippics in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must take the initiative to present a noble vision of who we were, who we are, and who we can potentially be. I wish I could say this nicely, but I don’t have much tolerance for sullen scatterbrains: Pres. Bush had promised us liberty, equality, and fraternity. Instead, he gave us Comstockism, mandarinism, and revanchism. I suppose we should have seen that coming, especially since once one begins thinking about free speech, about disaffected hatemongers who use ostracism and public opinion to prevent the airing of views contrary to their own feral beliefs, one realizes that I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I only wish that Pres. Bush had the same intellectual honesty. It is becoming increasingly obvious to many people that Pres. Bush somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (it is not only acceptable, but indeed desirable, to undermine serious institutional and economic analyses and replace them with a diverting soap opera of irresponsible conspiracies), distortions (his ideologies prevent smallpox), and misplaced idealism (his apothegms are our final line of defense against tyrrany). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say “noninterventionalist”.

Although I consistently place blame where it belongs – in the hands of Pres. Bush and his patronizing bootlickers – I do not countenance challenging Pres. Bush through breaking the law – to do so is cuckoo, immature, and indefensible. As soon as our backs are turned, his ebullitions will degenerate into hotbeds of rumor and innuendo. Enough said. I once overheard him say something quite astonishing. Are you strapped in? He said that anyone who dares to complain about abysmal underachievers can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result. Can you believe that? At least his statement made me realize that he has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. Then again, just because Pres. Bush is a prolific fantasist doesn’t mean that honor counts for nothing. Even if we accepted his mottos, so what? Does that mean that profits come before people? Of course not. The bottom line is that what Pres. George W. Bush is doing is akin to painting a mustache on the Mona Lisa.

36

the stuff it comes out with is funny

37

lol, when I read that, I was thinking “wth is he complaining about?”

Sorry, went right over my head :tongue:

38

LD4ALL is god, or should is be pasquale for the main website? or the ld4all host? or the power station? ah well the ppower station and host would have been here anyway, who knows