First I am tired of this dry spell. What has happened? I thought I had something a little bit special, by being a natural at LDing. I have now been trying very hard to achieve LD for over a month, night after night I have gone to bed with confidence, saying to myself that “this is the night!”. No reward.
I have also recently been trying hard to achieve another state of mind - trance. I do an exercise that consists of your concious mind and your sub-concious mind being split up by two candles - if I have understood it correctly. This doesn’t yield anything either. I can’t be confident anymore.
So how was it about my other sence in which I am tired? Ah, right now, I am also physically tired. I went up pretty early this day for a day of school. Normally I would compensate for this tiredness by going to sleep - well I don’t feel like being normal anymore.
I AM SICK OF THIS NORMAL STATE OF MIND, DO YOU HEAR ME??? I AM NOT GOING TO BED/SLEEP UNTIL I HAVE ACHIEVED TRANCE!!!
If you are interesting in following this task of mine, then I can keep you updated on it. Some discipline to keep me motivated is also very welcome. It is kind of inspired by a thing Buddha did, if you have read/heard about him sitting under that tree until he found the meaning of life.
I think this is all for now, I thank you if you read it. Zewu 23:16 (GMT+1), September 23
~sending the ‘faerie of concentration’ to you as you attempt your trance state~
Hopefully all will go well for you, zewu.
I think perhaps you may be trying a little too hard in your LD efforts as you seem to be getting a bit frustrated with your uneventful attempts.
Most people would recommend taking a break from trying.
Your confidence will return when you realise that lucidity cannot be forced.
You must learn patience and seek a much calmer frame of mind.
When you have time, tell us a bit more about this double candle meditation you have been using. I like using candles to focus my mind before bedtime but I would like to hear your methods…when you have time.
Reality.Failure is right. You’re trying way too hard. Take a break, relax, let it come naturally. If you keep trying to force it, you’ll never get anywhere. It’s like the chinese finger-trap… the harder you try, the tighter it gets and the more frustrated you become.
Of course, with the ones they sell at those quarter dispensers, you could always break it to get out…
But you shouldn’t be stressed about it. It is about motivation, but not about frustration. One destroys the other.
Sort of. You get the idea. You should stay calm yet focused. Don’t sweat it.
If you were better before you started, perhaps you should go back to no efforts at all and gradually increase the amount of work you put in.
Thanks for your suggestions. I decided to call this off and went to bed. I realized that it would just exhaust me. I don’t want to be boring, I have been up for about 40 hours once, so I knew I could do it. But I realized that I maybe am trying to hard, and I am going to try another approach.