Okay, so there’s this girl in my science class I sit next to. She’s cute, funny, draws, and likes anime! We’re slowly becoming friends, and I’m debating whether or not to ask her out…but, there’s a problem…
Y’see…she’s a masochist. She likes pain. Last class for about a half hour, she was poking herself with a spring she took out of her pen. Then, she fed it through the piercing in her ear, trying to make the hole bigger…or something.
Question for the guys: how big a deterrent for YOU would this be in the pursuit of a possible relationship? And should I even still pursue this?
Eclipse, you should go for it. Not only does she seem perfect for you, but her masochism makes it all the better. I mean, she could be up for/willing to try anything.
As for me, it wouldn’t be a deterent at all, and would probably make me more attracted to her.
I agree with the people above who said that it sounds like she is suffering from depression.
At this point all that is important is how you feel about her and of course how she feels about you. You already said you have been talking to her and you are becoming friends.
I also say go for it. The worst that can happen is as seeker said, “ if things get to weird you can always walk away.” I mean you are just talking about a date here. You are not asking to spend the rest of your life with her. Yet.
Depression for some is only a temporary thing. Perhaps as your relationship evolves you will be able to help her. Take things slow about her hurting herself and build trust first. Many people with depression have trouble talking about it. So don’t jump right into her personal life right away. Just get to know her for now. Wait a while before asking her why she does the things she does.
What I find disturbing is that she was doing this in class yet no teacher or anything took notice !!!
Might be many reasons why shes doing it…depression,sad childhood,abuses,alcohol problems and violence at home.
Find out if she nymphomaniac too,that could narrow above.And will prolly help you with your decision:)
Im partly joking,just because this thread looks light.If there are really some sad problems behind it,ill delete above.
Anyways…the best advice here is allready given- do not look for opinions.Judge yourself.propably in time you will find out whos she and will decide if you wanna take part in eventuall problems she might have.She might ,of course have none and her behaviour may give you lots of unforgetable love lessons:)
Dont predict the future…go for it if you like ,if you dont just dont.
good luck:)
I say go for it. You never know, some chics are nutters in front of people, but then are teddy bears in bed. I’m the same way. It’s the attention whore thing. So see, all she needs is some attention. Give her some, and maybe you’ll get laid.
Course I could be wrong, but it’s not likely. Good Luck!!!
Amen.
AHAHAHAHAHAhahahaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
(your name makes me crave caviar)
Ophelia, you never cease to amaze me…
(you can translate that how you like)
Here’s what I’d personally do. I’m a girl so I have different opinions than the other gender might. I have a boyfriend and we were really good friends before we started “going out”. There was never an actual point where we became “boyfriend and girlfriend”, it just kind of happened. We mostly hung out a lot like at lunch or in band or after school. Then we’d go to movies or play violent computer games together. I find it’s most important to be a friend first before you try to take it further. If you haven’t been friends long, try to get to know her more. If you feel you really want to make a relationship out of your friendship, make sure the friendship is genuine or you’ll end up in a situation you may not like.
Anyway, in my opinion there’s a difference between hanging out and going out. If you’re looking to further a friendship, hang out and just do fun things like movies or skating or hanging out in a group. Then when you want to get more personal then you can try alone time together. It all depends on what your goal is.
Hope that helped. Any more questions, don’t hesitate to ask
DOn’t mean to go offtopic but i just had to reply to
What’s to conquer? She’s a girl not a country. You have to be very careful with depressed people, they have a habbit of hurting themselves.
One of my close friends jumped in a guys car and did pretty much everything but penitrative sex. She did it because she was depressed and wanted to hurt herself; seriously depressed people - particularly girls try to hurt themselves in more ways that physical harm.
Basically she was sexually abusing herself to hurt herself, where can you get any sense of manhood from that? If you really want a sense of “manhood” try helping them out of their depression not her knickers.
I know someone that cuts herself. Freshman year (high school) in art class she wrote out all the names of her exboyfriends (it reached 20 something, and she knew she was forgeting some of them!). Plus, she hasn’t been able to stay in a relationship for more than 3 months. She lacks love at home and trys to ease it by boyfriends and self mutatlation… it’s very sad…
plus she told me last year before school ended that she could commit herself to God and not date anyone/flirt with anyone for a year… and maybe even through college if she felt God calling her…
well, school has started and of course she has a new boyfriend/makeout partner/whatever…
so what was I trying to say again??? hmmm… just be careful!!
Eclipse,
I used to be very depressed. I remember likeing a guy in my class. I really wanted his attention, so when I ran out of things to say, I would start to staple my arm. I would do things like that. I still have scars.
All I really wanted was a friend to be nice to me.
That’s what I needed.
This girl might have troble communicating. I bet she doesn’t really want to hurt herself. Poor thing is just confused.
Be her friend, have good laughs together, share the good things in life.
Everybody wants sombody to understand them. that’s all.
#Six
that’s all.