Hi everyone, I am new to this forum because I’m looking for people who share the same experience and can understand me a bit better. I started lucid dreaming as a teenager and became pretty good at it. I started a story that would be just as a second life. I tried to spend every lucid dream there, and even daydreams and pre-lucid dreams. It has been nine years now although I gotta admit that in the previous years, I haven’t seen my second life world too often because I was too busy in real life. Some weeks ago, I started again to try actively to have Lucid dreams every night. I have my own family there. It is all in real time as far as possible. It is not that I’m actively planning everything that happens. I just take the things as they come. Over the years, I really got emotionally attached to this life. Telling my friends about it is nice, but they will never understand the effort behind it and the incredible feeling that I have when meeting my dream people that I have close relationships with although they actually do not exist. I’m now looking for people who might also have a second life or a continuous story in their dreams. I would love to hear your stories and to tell you about mine 
Hello, Ma
Sounds incredible! I would say that, for the most part, I’m kind of polar opposite in that I tend to dream about something/some place/some persons different almost every time I dream. Occasionally I’ll dream of my irl family or with a group of dreamers I recognize as people I know and feel comraderie with, in the dream, as part of a loose clan so to speak. Only very occasionally people I recognize as the same character. It’s prbbly just representative of my ADD which can’t hold onto faces, names, associations for very long.
Kudos for the continuity you’ve developed with your flip-side life! Sounds intriguing 
Hello Glypheye
That also sounds cool! I could imagine that it is sometimes even more interesting to see different people and characters. 
Also, I don’t know how it is for you, but in my case the continuity sometimes, even if not often causes stress because problems in the second life can also take a toll on my mood in real life in some cases.
Actually, to me….the continuity of living a “second life” sounds more interesting. I just know I’d never be able to pull it off in a million years.
I can imagine it might be stressful, though, knowing there’s some unresolved issue in the second life that you know you’ll be returning to until resolution is found.
Can you describe some of the dynamics you experience in this life? It’s ok if you don’t want to share them
How often do you have LDs?
By dynamics, you mean situations that also affect my real life? If yes, of course I can share some moments
So one moment that was very sad and still gives me goosebumps a bit happened some years ago. When my second life oldest child was about 2 years old. I was playing with her in that dream when I started realizing that I lose lucidity and everything got a bit dizzy. I knew the dream would be over soon, which was OK, but then she reached out her little arm and said ‘mommy no’ as if she knew that I would be gone soon. So the last thing I saw in that dream was that hand reaching out to me and this whining sound of her who wanted me to stay. After I woke up, I cried just because it was so emotional, although I knew that there is no actual person that I left behind.
And the second situation just happened some days ago. In my dream I was talking to my second life best friend. I was excited because I had some exciting news to share with her but her reaction was not as positive as I expected. So I was upset that she was not as excited as I was. And for days I kept thinking about if I said something wrong, if I said it the wrong way, if she’s jealous, angry or whatsoever. But what is interesting in that regard is that I know that if the people in my dreams, tell me something, this is actually my subconscious that wants to tell me something. I could resolve the problem in that case some days later.
How are the dynamics in your dreams?
I just couldn’t help but think of that despair you can get when a dream like that ends. Your child in that second life wishing you didn’t have to go. I have tried in the past to remedy this problem by making a copy of myself to stay behind after I wake up (I never succeeded at that), though I understand that’s not really the same thing.
I can relate to the despair of waking up from a dream like that. I would miss that place and people in it profoundly. I think if you want to cultivate the second life dream to happen more, and it’s not happening then double down on your dream journaling efforts. It may have been easier to do when you were younger. I know a lot of things were easier with lucid dreaming were easier when I was younger.
I don’t have the experience of visiting the same place or time, second life, in my dreams. I know it’s possible with dedication and have heard of other people capable of doing it. Those seemed to say that it is similar to entering a dream you just woke up from, only they could do it after their whole day went by. The closest thing I think I have to it is sometimes being in some far away place or alternative timeline. In the midst of the dream is a strong sense of Deja vu or a sense that this place is a home for me and these characters are people I know very well.
That is heart wrenching to hear about your kid in the dream asking you not to leave. I can totally relate to that. It takes a lot of emotional maturity to recover sometimes. Being in such wonderful places and times, then having to know it was all a dream. Sometimes these places seem so real that I couldn’t have made it up, and maybe there is more to dreaming than just imagination.
What keeps popping up in my head is that in life nothing is guaranteed. I don’t mean to say it’s just another chance for us to be grateful, but there is a deeper fear and understanding that it is enough of a miracle for anything to exist at all, much less consciousnesses. I am sure it is possible for you to go back to this place at will with enough dedication. I would not discount the randomness of dreams either. I have met some awesome characters and never seen them again, it really can be heartbreaking. But I also know that if I put all my effort in waking life to be able to see them again, I would succeed.
Do your best to get back to that second life but look after yourself. Some things are not for the faint of heart! And sometimes we don’t give ourselves credit for what we achieve in our dreams. People in life will be so dismissive of these sorts of things. You should be proud of being able to do that and handling the disappointments and difficulties associated with it. I know it’s not unheard of, but it is a rare ability or talent to have!
The copy of yourself that stays behind is actually a pretty good idea. I also imagine that a part of me stays behind because first of all it would break my heart if not, and also I want the story to continue also when I’m not there so people age normally, etc.
It is very interesting that you mention that it has been easier to lucid dream when we were younger. I observed the same thing in many regards. I feel like my success often depends on my workday, if work is stressing me out, I am less likely to have a lucid dream and as you mention, the dream journaling is really a challenge compared to nine years ago. Sometimes I have a really hard time in the middle of the night to take out my dream journal and write down all the things immediately, and a friend of mine told me that he once read that if it is too bright in your room, you lose memory of your dreams faster. As a teen I lived with my parents in a very calm place but now I’m living in the middle of the city so it is loud and way too bright at night in my apartment. Do you have any tips for dream journaling or dream recall? How many dreams do you remember per night?
What do the places that you visit look like and how is it about the different timelines so is it like you are in the past or in the future?
I really like your thoughts about what our dreams can mean for us and how they can change our understanding and appreciation of reality and our abilities. This is so true. It sometimes makes me think about what reality actually is because dreams and memories are stored in the same part of the brain and the brain itself does not make a difference.
Thanks for you kind words. I really hope that I can be in my second life more often again and it really helps to read that other dreamers tell me that it is possible and that you also know people who have done it. If you want, and if you still are in contact with those people let them know to feel free to text me. Sharing experiences is always very helpful, especially since people who have never experienced lucid dreaming keep giving me sentences like “you should live in reality” or “ stop wasting your time”. I’m wondering how this is wasting time when I am literally asleep doing nothing haha
IDK maybe once a month or so? Maybe less?
It sounds heart-wrenching, the coming and going of a very real-appearing second life. Again….kudos! It’s a marvel, truly. Your second family sounds like they really love you 
The dynamics in my dreams are extremely diverse. I really never know what’s going to crop up from one dream to the next. I would say that Surprise! is a very frequent response. Surprise that seems inexhaustible 
Thanks! I hope they do, since I love them, too
Happy to hear that the excitement never ends for you as well! It is a gift and an incredible feeling that people can’t understand if they never had it
I think it was easier when I was younger. Just having more energy, probably a younger healthier mind, and less emotional baggage for lack of a better term. The dreams can work through a less complicated environment.
On a night where I am determined to make a serious effort to journal I get about 6 to 7 dreams. A couple from the first sleep cycle, 2 or 3 from the second half of the night, then 2 or 3 from the morning as I am slowly waking up all varying in length 30 seconds to several minutes. If I am really trying, I notice I have a lot of false awakening type dreams. I think we all have these a lot more than we realize.
But that is mostly when my pets don’t distract me and it’s a morning I don’t have to get up at a set time. Like you alluded to there are so many distractions in life that can make it harder. Just being in a louder environment can make it harder. If one of my cats wakes me up I instantly lose the dream lol, or I will remember one tiny detail.
Even though it is harder than it used to be. I have made myself get up and journal from time to time lately. I will think I don’t have enough to make it worth getting up and writing about, but then before I know it I have 2 or 3 pages handwritten (I double space and don’t worry at all about if I’m writing the letters big, just make it as easy as possible). I think if I’m being serious handwritten is the best way to go. No surprise that it’s also the slowest and least lazy way lol, yields better results.
The lighting in the room is something I don’t think is going to have a big impact but one thing that is nice to use is those battery powered adjustable lights. I got one for a gift that I really like, it doesn’t light up the room too much. But either way I don’t think using the regular light is going to hurt anything.
About the places I visit, past vs future. Talking about the dreams that have a solid timeline and realistic story resembling a second life sort of dream, they are usually open outdoor spaces. Like sparse houses on a big lake, a campground with trailers/mobile homes in the woods, or a city big or small. They feel more like the past than future in the sense that there is so much less baggage in the relationships, less judgement, seeming to be before a time I disappointed these people and they disappointed me lol. Also less inhibition in the way everyone interacts, more childlike yet fearless. That is a great question!
I think you would be pleasantly surprised at the results from getting up and journalling. I know it’s not easy. You have to be creative and pin down what’s distracting and limiting you in real life. Then there is only so much you can do to mitigate those things. After that it’s sheer willpower and trying to make it work under the circumstances.
I have entirely given up on letting my pet cat(s) sleep in the bed with me if I’m going to try to journal. They are going to wake me up and I’m going to lose the dream 95% of the time lol. So they are either outside for the night or I shut my door to my room and they sleep on the sofa etc. The loud, busy city noises are constant and make it harder overall but for what it’s worth would be minimized when you are getting up in the middle of the night to journal.
I don’t have anyone specific to point to but I remember coming across people on here and other forums that could do what you are talking about. It’s rare but not unheard of, and probably discussed in books about dreams. I’m glad to offer my thoughts on this, it really makes me understand my own dreams and experiences with them better. It is neat to talk about because there is so much nuance and common ground. And it is nice to meet someone else wrestling with these issues. I wish you luck with your renewed efforts!
Wow 6 to 7 dreams is really amazing. My highest was 6 when I was younger. I can come up with 4 something 5 per night if I focus and write them down immediately. Some of them are longer and some very short. I think I should really get up at night instead of just laying there telling my iPad to write down what I’m saying. As you said, probably it is best to hand write it. How long do you stay up at night? For me, I found out that between 30 and 45 minutes seems to be the most effective to become lucid after falling asleep then. And also something I was wondering when reading your text was if you experience the lucid dreams more in the first or in the second half of the night. For me, it’s the second. But of course, I would prefer being able to have them in the first and in the second part just to spend more time there.
Are the cities and open space areas you dream of places you know or are they made up? And also the people? From what you said about them being disappointed and you’re being disappointed, I assume that those people are real?
Haha, your cats are probably wondering why they are being excluded at night but it totally makes sense. Everything that is moving or requiring attention is way too distracting. When I visit my family, I take earplugs with me so that even if someone gets up at night it does not distract me.
Do you have any recommendations of another forum where I could post? I had a group of people years ago in my country, but they all gave up after a while. We are still friends though.
It already helps so much to talk to you guys. Knowing that someone -as you said- has the same struggles is calming and exchanging tricks is always good Wish you good luck and wonderful dreams as well!
Yeah I tested myself a couple nights ago. I didn’t recall anything from my first 3 hours of sleep. Then I woke up a lot for the next 4 hours recalling 6 dreams. I put my favorite 2 in my journal on here.
That reminds me. It is probably best to put the bulk of your energy and effort into the second half of the night. Really, it could be a huge waste of time trying to squeeze dream recall from the first sleep cycle. The second half of the night is the gold mine for everyone. And plus by then you’ve already gotten some sleep.
I would say those worlds I’m talking about are almost always not from real life. The people in my dreams are usually from real life, even when I seem to be in far away places. When I talk about disappointment I mean it a bit tongue in cheek, maybe it would be better to say expectations than disappointment. Though I see plenty of new faces and strangers in my dream, it’s rare for me to have a dream without at least someone from real life there.
If I get up to journal it is usually going to be 30-45 minutes. Though 10 minutes would probably be long enough if you are just trying to build up or incubate your next dream and not journaling for whatever reason. I don’t rush because if I’m going to journal that night I go to bed early so there is no fear of not getting enough sleep. If I haven’t set it up like this it’s probably not worth trying to rush it and just get some sleep lol. I don’t have any other sites to recommend though I’ve been on others in the past. I like this one as it’s pretty tight knit and has lots of experienced dreamers.
So I tested the same last night. I did recall one dream from the first half and then after WBTB it was 3 or 4 (not sure if one of them was one single dream or two separate ones). Also, thanks to you I went back to writing down my dreams manually using the apple pen. It gave me the feeling of deeper reflection of what I dreamed. It took about 20 minutes. After that I went to sleep again and became lucid. Although I only slept 6.5 hours in total I felt very well in the morning since I did not try to be lucid in the first half as I often did.
As long as the people that appear in your dreams are good to you and do not give you a bad feeling. I think that is the most important thing. Can you actually make them appear or disappear? And what are you talking about with those people? Is it more real life related stuff or dream life related stuff?
Also, I have another question. Maybe you have a good idea on that one as well. Back when I was living with my parents, it was no problem at all for me to directly enter my second life world, but since I moved, I constantly keep waking up in my own bed and I have a hard time switch places. Is there any advice?
I am excited to hear that your experiment went so well! That’s a lot of dream recall. I know if you keep that up you are going to get longer dreams and go lucid even more often and you will have better poise in the dreams. I don’t know whether to suggest you go all out for 10 days or so or take it more slowly and do it as you can. There can be a sort of fatigue to it and I think if it’s too much your body will tell you. So as long as you feel good and refreshed there is no limit to how many nights in a row you can do it.
Some of the people I dream about are people I grew up with but never had a relationship with. They seem like another path my life could have gone down. These dreams feel like either an exploration of that possibility or an almost past life experience-ish journey. That’s the closest I’ve gotten to your experience.
What you are trying to do is like a recurring dream. There should be part of it that’s almost hardwired to you in a sense. But even if it wasn’t it would be possible to recreate it. You would then be able to discern is this the old dream or a new one just try to be open and honest about it. Yes I can make people disappear though sometimes they can just run right back into the dream and never go away. Something people do a lot is imagine someone they want to meet is around the corner.
If I was you and found myself in a lucid dream I would try to make my way to the house that the second life dream takes place at. Whether that’s easier to do by walking down a sidewalk, side of the street, or a wooded trail/dirt road etc. Then as I get nearer and nearer to this house begin to imagine your 2 year old is inside that house or waiting in the front yard for you. So while people imagine a person around the corner they want to meet you can do that with the whole house or dream location. It’s not going to automatically work every time but it can be surprising how well and detailed it can work when it does work!
I would just go at a good pace with the journaling. If you aren’t getting tired or fatigued from the dream journaling then push into it with all you’ve got. You should get up in the morning feeling refreshed. Just listen to your mind and body and if you start feeling worse then take a break. But don’t underestimate the possibility that you can push pretty hard into this and even feel better. And I know it would be easier when we were younger lol.
It was the same today again, so it really seems to help. What is also very interesting and also a bit calming (since I am probably not the only one then) is that you mentioned this fatigue. I read a bit about it once, but there is not too much scientific information about it. When I started again some weeks ago to make lucid dreaming my routine, I felt so sick in the morning that I could not eat normally. This went on for about two weeks. My friends and colleagues were a bit worried until I told them that I think I know why I feel sick to my stomach all day (and after stating several time that I am not pregnant lol). That might have been the fatigue you were talking about. It is however way better now. Did you have it yourself too? Or did you ever experience something like motion sickness after a LD or any other effects on real life shortly after waking up?
So it seems your drams are a bit of an alternative life story for you. Do you think there might be a danger of you regretting life decisions due to the alternative ending that was presented to you in your dreams? Also, it is funny and somehow scary that people in dreams can disappear but come back o their own. It gives some more reality sense to it but also if they have “bad intentions” would not be that nice.
I tried to walk through a door last week and imagined the door will lead to my second life house (which is the place I know best in the world over there) but I just ended up somewhere random. Same with people, second-life-husband appeared on my command but in figure of a black shadow that did not really manifest lol. Somehow I seem to have problems with it. Next try would be to be outside and walk to the house so that it slowly builds up. Will keep you updated on that.
The journaling itself refreshes me already and gives me a good feeling in the morning. Hope for you it’s the same!
The last time I got up to write all the dreams I had a good night doing it. That was 2 or 3 weeks ago. The next night I got up thinking I’ll do it again and just had this severe lack of desire to write them down. It was like my brain was telling me that was too much. I remembered the dreams and easily could put them into words, but something was telling me I needed a rest. In the past I have had very positive experiences with getting out of bed to write every detail I can squeeze out of the dream.
Yeah I think it’s safe to say a lot of my dreams are like possible alternative lives. It could cause regret in life or make me feel like I’m shirking some responsibility I couldn’t have imagined having towards someone or some version of my life. By now these are so numerous and varied there is no realistic way to take any of those worries seriously. It demands I take the dreams with a grain of salt even if they can be intense or seem to have a real life implication. It is hard to explain and so many ways it could be looked at. There is no way to accommodate all those doubts and I’m forced to get on with things and it’s fine. The experience of all those alternative dreams could lead to indecision and things like that in life, I can agree with that point!
Yeah I had a dream where this annoying guy kept grabbing my legs as I tried to fly away. I would throw him so far away I almost couldn’t see him, then seconds later here he comes around some corner and I’d throw him again lol. It happened over and over and he always came back unfazed and full of energy, no scrapes or mud on him. He would practically skip over to me and grab my legs again stopping me from going anywhere, lol.
Trying to walk through doors and trying to make the husband or child appear in the dream are the things I would be trying to do as well. You are approaching it the same way I would. And I would expect results to be mixed - it simply doesn’t always happen right away or just how we want. Eventually though it will work or you will incubate a dream about it with all this attention or simply find yourself back in it.
I think you are on the right track but be patient with yourself! Discussing all this makes me want to try to get more serious about writing my dreams with pen and paper, and maybe actually try to re-enter one of those types of dreams I’m telling you about.
One is where I meet a lady I grew up with at this music concert that takes place in the woods. There are campers, tents, mobile homes and campsites and all these people out there that are having a great time. Huge trees like redwoods and the speakers for the concert are up in the trees. You can also use microphones to talk on the speakers to find people you are looking for or for any good reason. It felt like its own realm almost outside of time.
I came across her in this dream and she was glad to see me but fussed at me for not going there often enough. That she had worked really hard to get there herself. It was a really cool, fun dream but maybe with some unsettling implications. So the dreams can be awesome but sometimes the more awesome the more they hurt to wake up from and deal with. That’s part of what you have going on with this and it’s all good, just not for the faint of heart!
When the body or brain says no then it’s a no. We should listen to that although I am not the best leading example on that lol.
Good to hear that the alternative lifes do not influence you badly. Otherwise for people with low psychological stability this could be dangerous, I think.
That person did not want you to fly haha, maybe they think it is dangerous. I had the same dream once. My grandpa held onto my foot so that I couldn’t fly. I am wondering what would happen if we explained it to those people. My second-life-husband doesn’t get it. We had several discussions within the last years about things that I can do and the fact that I can’t die over there but he won’t get it haha.
Last night I had a bad night. Dream recall was good but sleep itself was bad so I did not try to make something appear but maybe I will tonight. Btw, I bought the remee LD sleepmask. I know I should not use technical devices but rather learn the things by my self but I needed a new sleep mask anyways and it didn’t cost much more so I thought why not. Looking forward to seeing if it works/ helps. Last night I was too much awake for it.
Nice to read that our discussion makes you want to re-enter the dream you had. It is actually cute that this lady told you to come back. It sounds like a really nice and calm place to be. Hope you will meet her again! If there are speakers you can maybe just go there and call her. That’s what I would do I guess. Feel free to keep me updated if you meet her again.
Do you actually believe that dream sharing is possible?
Yeah it can be funny when they try to stop me from flying. Another one was my friend, a good friend, who was deeply concerned and all I was doing was kinda levitating around the room. He was distraught and in a panic grabbing at my ankles and begging me to stop. I just kinda hung out with him though. I may have even given up on flying and just came back to the ground.
I think trying the mask is cool. I remember reading about a mask like that in Stephen Laberge’s book and he didn’t seem to have any concerns about them. That’s pretty cool that it’s available to everyone really! I mean you are gonna be able to gauge if there are any drawbacks or not. And really if you see the flashing light is kinda up to you how much you want to push for lucidity or just let the dream go as it was, cause it’s on your own time.
Yeah all this is helping me with my dreams. I hope to get back there soon to that place. I got up from my first sleep cycle and dragged myself out of bed. I wrote on paper with hazy recollection about 4 sentences and couldn’t tell if I was really not recalling more or I was lying to myself so I could just go back to bed. But I got back in bed knowing that I had probably set myself up for success on the next sleep cycle.
Then I had 2 pretty profound lucid dreams and then 1 fun dream cause I decided to get even more sleep after I really could have just gotten my day started.
The 2 dreams were connected because I woke up from the 1st dream pretty excited but there was no way I was getting out of bed to write I was so sleepy. So I knew I was going to go right back to sleep but I made myself stay up for about 5 minutes lying still trying to gain some control to incubate the dream to continue and be recalled. Then I was put back in it. I’ll probably try to put it in my journal on here I just might have to shorten it or something cause it’s like 4 pages handwritten lol.
On dream sharing I have definitely had dreams where it felt like that other person was truly there. Not a character, but that’s actually them. But that is the closest I have ever gotten. Things that make you think but nothing definitive. I think it is possible to incubate something similar to a shared dream if people are close and they get a real feel for each others dreams by discussing them in detail, then their dreams could move closer together. Also in my experience it’s usually not a good idea to underestimate the minds ability to pull something like that off, though it wouldn’t be a literal shared dream.
But if someone insisted they have experienced it I would believe them. Just like if someone says they have an out of body experience or a near death experience I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt or more.
Haha I can imagine how scared they were to see you levitating. Funny how it seems to be common sense for our dream people not to understand what is going on.
The mask is not so helpful until now. I have the brightness on full strength but still can’t see it in my sleep/dreams. I try to condition myself so that each time I see the lights when I am awake, I do a reality check. In hopes, I will at least subconsciously see the lights in my sleep at some point and do the reality check as well.
Sounds like you had a great experience last night. I’d be curious to read whatever you are ready to share your dream journal. I’m thinking about sharing my non-lucid dreams as well. The lucid ones I would want to keep for myself.
Regarding dream sharing, I was never sure what to think about it. I once new person that mentioned having had such an experience and also I had a dream once and told a friend about it the day after and told her “you were shouting at me in that dream” and she said yeah, I was calling for you in my dream and it was at the same place. That was really weird enough, we weren’t close by so I’m not sure if that’s possible at all or just coincidence. Probably I also give people the benefit of the doubt but on the other hand, it’d be creepy to have people entering your dreams. I would love to be left alone in my dreams haha. As you said the probability is given since our brain is capable of SO MUCH (and I love it).
It’s funny that your husband in your second life gets so worried when you float around too! After all it does make sense for them to react in such a way. That’s a less commonly talked about thing in lucid dreams - how dream characters can freak out when you’re just floating around confidently - not trying to shock or scare them in any way. I love stuff like that, things you couldn’t predict but validate dreams objectively in a way. We should figure out some way to explain it to the people in our dreams that it is ok for us to float around and do other risky things.
Does the mask report to you in the morning if it detected rem sleep and flashed the lights or not, or how many times it did throughout the night? I also wonder that maybe the people that used it in the sleep lab had the benefit of someone to wake them up right after it happened so they could get used to it faster. Or maybe the mask has a way to wake you up after it happens?
That’s a pretty interesting possible shared dream you have. I had one so realistic one time I was going to ask the person if they remembered a dream I was in last night. If they said yes I was going to stop them right there, then ask them to write down what they remember and I would go do the same. Then we’d compare what we wrote down. If I remember it was my sister so I did ask her, but she just didn’t have the dream or didn’t remember it.
Either way I don’t doubt that. And it might make sense for it to be easier to do with very short and simple dreams and start small. Like anything else.
Btw I did not write down anything today. I did not sleep well but it was like I had too much energy. So not necessarily a bad thing. I did sleep and had three dreams but I couldn’t say what happened in any of them lol.