social anxiety and dreams

Ok so I was really unsure where to put this topic, so I’m sorry if this isnt the correct place and mods feel free to move it.

Well where to start. I have a mental disorder called aspergers (mine is actually a very minor case) which causes difficulty with social understanding and social anxiety, among other things. Some times my social anxiety is pretty intense, I’m always afraid that I will do something wrong or people wont like me.

However, after getting into lucid dreaming I have begun to pay more attention to my normal dreams, and I noticed something kind of surprising. In my dreams I have no social anxiety, none whatsoever. I have dreams where I’m socializing with friends, even going on dates, whereas in real life, I don’t even have friends in the typical sense. (well actually I sort of do, but its complicated, and I don’t want to get into the details here) I just found it interesting and wondered if anyone could relate or had thoughts on the matter.

Perhaps, even if you don’t have a stellar understanding of social conventions, you have a comfortable knowledge of yourself? Dream characters are supposed to be parts of you, after all. Or maybe one big clandestine reason that your anxiety stays mild, is that your SC runs you through these social simulations and your conscious mind would just forget the details upon waking, but the emotions are more or less stabilized. Or maybe you’re naturally extroverted, but bad things happened and you’ve been forced to suppress that part of you to save your mind.

I remember being socially anxious. Like, rather skip a class than come in technically on time but to a full classroom where everybody’s heads habitually turn just to see who’s come in next, and they make those judgey eyes, kind of anxious. I can’t really remember exactly how I got out of that, though… :unsure: My dreams then also featured other DC’s that I had no problem with interacting, but at least as often gave me the nightmare revenge of the judgey eyes II. :tongue:

Hey mate.

My brother has aspergers and even I have some of the traits. I think that maybe your subconcious is wanting friends and so your dreams are showing that. I have some social problems but I find the best way to feel involved, included and make friends is to just be yourself. If the other person does not like who you are, then move on. Dont be afraid to say something. You’ll find that it’s not as weird as you think. :smile:

Wow I just realized that I’m a lot more social in my dreams… and on the internet.

I’m not really good with people either. Mainly shiness and insecurity. I used to get really anxious too but got that treated so now I just get a little :tongue: Even so, in my dreams 99% of the time I’m super sociable and don’t get that feeling. I used to be depressed too but wasn’t in my dreams, in general (although I’m better now it does appear in some dreams :eh: )

One more thing, which is a huge part of my social difficulty, is that I never feel like I belong anywhere (socially, specially), but when I’m with people in dreams it just feels kinda right :smile:

Well, I’ve got mild Aspergers as well, and I can totally relate to what you’re saying. :smile:

That’s true, in dreams, socializing doesn’t make me anxious at all, and I don’t have to pay any attention to body language, or avoiding social mistakes and the like. I will sometimes feel embarassed or anxious, but only in some bad dreams/dreams that are a recollection of things that happened in the day. Otherwise, in normal dreams, I’ve got no social anxiety whatsoever.
Things just seem to flow more easily, and don’t feel alien and uncomfortable like they can do sometimes IRL.
Also, in dreams I don’t have any of the usual sensory oversensitivity, which is kind of nice. :content:

I’m not sure about the reason of this, though.
Maybe it’s because the anxiety IRL is due to physical sensations that we don’t have in dreams, because we’re sleeping? Or maybe the dreams just automatically adjust to us? Hm… :hmmm: