Struggle to control dreams

Hi everyone,

I have been a lucid dreamer for years now and often have a lucid dream.

But does anyone else struggle while in a lucid dream?

For instance it took me years of lucid dreaming to learn how to fly/float.

And I have never managed to control my dreams. In fact I think it’s boring because my dreams don’t do what i want them to do!!

I always experience an OBE/LD, and end up in my room! (or where I am currently sleeping.)
I ask my dream to “show me something amazing” but it never happens!

I expect it and want it but I just end up in my room with nothing special happening.

I want to see my dad, who died unexpectedly 2 years ago. I even shouted in my dream and demanded I see him but nothing happpened.

I want to meet the man of my dreams in my dream (which is private, but is a celebrity) and have great s*x

and what about the amazing places and meeting your “angel” that many people claim to see in their lucid dreams???

Nothing happens for me exept my boring room.

Can anyone give any tips or books/blogs they have read which will help with advanced lucid dreaming?


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Hey I see it is your 1st post,welcome :hugs:

Yep,ld’ing can be pretty frustrating,but why bother.I’ve seen many posts that then say,I cannot control my dreams or ‘the dream ends pretty quickly’.

Just remember that lucid dreaming might be hard to control ,but remember that this is all you.If you cannot control it,that’s what you think.In fact,you can control dreams yet you actually struggle to realise it,:sleeping:

Here is an exercise I want you to do:

Any point during the day right,absolutely any point.I want you to day-dream.Play with your creations,go beyond thelimits.As you can see,that is not hard,you can clearly play with your mind while daydreaming.

So,what seems to be your problem now?


Try and go into your lucid dream next time,if something won’t happen,know that you are doing this and it’s impossible for you not to do something within your own world.If you wake up after,find out what was wrong,experiment with it and re-do your lucid dream,except,this time,with a clear motivation of what you did wrong,and an intention of you controlling the dream.

A few dreams later,you’ll get the hang of controlling your dreams

Yup,and that’s it from me

Have a good day.


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Welcome to the forum Gem!
I’ve had periods of my life in which dream control came easy, and other times in which I really didn’t have control in my dreams at all. I have often found that my dreams are like reflections, and my lack of control has reflected a similar sentiment in WL.
That is, the time my dreams are most out of my control have also been the times I haven’t felt like I had control in my WL. Low self image, lack of self confidence, stress. All these things were/are reflected into my dreams as well, making control elusive.

Might be worth examining if anything like this might be affecting your dreams and address that.

My other suggestion would be to do other things into WL to help visualize what you want to do or build confidence/take mindfulness in controlling or changing things. Here some ideas:

-Create something of your own in WL: some kind of art or music or something. I think exercising creativity is a great primer for doing creative things in dreams.

-Play some video games! There’s some interesting research about video gamers and dreams, but I think being able to control environments and characters in games translates well to controlling things in dreams. Maybe try something open and creative like Minecraft?

-Build control/your goals into you matras if you meditate or use auto-suggestions ( example: “when I realize I’m dreaming, I will fly” or “I will see my dad in my dreams.”)

-Write down your intent to control your dreams/ achieve your goals. I like to focus on one at a time and keep an “incubation notebook” where I kinda journal my desires and goals for my dreams. I write my intent a few different ways, I write why I want to achieve the goal, how it’ll feel to achieve it and such to really get it set into my brain. This works for suggesting topics for non lucid dreams too.

-I second @Emperor_Thanatos in the suggestion to daydream.

Hope something here is helpful to you! You might find more information/suggestions if you dig through the forum for similar topics. Keep us updated!


Thanks for both of your help. Yes i will definately try daydreaming during the day. I think you are on to something here, so will try again in both waking state and lucidity. Thanks!


How’s it going, Gem281? Have you tried their advice? What are your results so far?

Yes,i’m intrigued to hear