Trust issues and dreaming, advice needed

the Stuff Dreams are made of...
1

Hey guys,

i had no idea what section this belongs to, so i guess i’ll just put it here.

I have been going out with a great girl for 2 months, and although we have an amazing time together, i seem to have emotional issues that are making me feel bad through out the entire relationship. One of my major issues is that i constantly have dreams where my gf is cheating on me, or suddenly abandoning me.

I have these dreams very regularly and it’s starting to mess up my head. Now i know that if i just lucid dreamed and controlled the dream, it would really be just fixing the symptoms and not the cure. and maybe this isn’t the forum to help deal with emotional issues, but from what i remember this board is filled with positive helpful people.

So, how can i get a more positive outlook on this relationship, life, and hopefully thus fix my dreaming so i can get a decent nights sleep!

2

I’m not very good at relationships nor emotions but I’ll try to help anyway (not making violent jokes this time)

Learn to trust her , I trust all most no one but that seems to make sense to me.
Or maybe you need some psychiatric help :crazy:, but lets hope that won’t be necessary :content: .

3

Have you told her about the dreams?

4

i wonder if you have been let down in the past … and therefore may think the relationship is too good to be true … so your sub-concious is rehearsing for when you are let down :sad:

But at the end of the day, dreams are just dreams and you shouldn’t give them the power to ruin a great relationship.

5

Lucid dreaming isn’t a fix, its a diagnosis to show you that you have problems.

You have to explore the pain,
what would it feel like if you were cheated on ?
Its the same pain as it feels like when you fear that she is
They are One.

So feel it right now, believe me :smile:
I have it too, inside of me.

Now, when you let yourself feel it, try to just let it all out of you. Try to just sit and feel it completely, feel the pain.

If your girlfriend cheated on you, it might make you hurt, for other people, they wouldn’t feel bad at all, and would forgive her immediately,
whats the difference ?

This runs very deep.
We want to follow our joy and our bliss.

Accept all possibilities. This is part of the shadow self,
like you fixate on this, maybe you know someone who is stupidly afraid of germs, and you’ve never cared about them one day of your life. Imagine how silly it is for them to run around fearing everything, yet, to them, it is real, and its as real as your fear of being “betrayed” or “abandoned”
most of us have these to transmute.

You may try the affirmation “I trust my Higher Self to protect and guide me.”

this entire struggle is a shift from self-is-shness to self-less-ness
try to think of yourself as a servant, there to help her in every-way, who needs nothing from her
who can be un-phased if she left tomorrow, and find another way to be of service quickly
try to think of it without “I” and what “I” , “Wants”, and “needs”
it is a huge growing process, quite painful, learning to fly, learning to have wings, to see things from a bigger picture
to be at ease and happy.
I am going through it heavy right now. I loved someone so dearly just recently, we were living together, I was becoming very greatly satisfied and happy with every-thing and truly feeling at home, and then I had to leave.

Faith in a higher power really helps here.
Jesus Christ for instance,

6

Well, in reality, two months is not that long of a time, but it is long enough that you should have built open lines of communication. Instead of over thinking \ analyzing the situation and putting yourself through a lot of unneeded emotional pain, try taking the time to share with her your experiences.

A loving relationship is an understanding relationship and if approached in the right way I am sure she would appreciate you being honest with her. Trust me, if she is akin to your feelings she may already tell that there is something on your mind.

And remember to explain that these are just dreams, and that you do trust her, because she hasn’t done anything to break this trust, but the dreams are affecting you and talking about it will help.

A compassioante heart will lend an open ear and I am sure it can turn into a good bonding experience for the two of you.

Good luck.

7

If you don’t feel like talking with her, you might as well try to concentrate on the feeling. Meaning that next time you feel fear from cheating, you should concentrate on that, examine that, and see why you are afraid. This is done best in a lucid dream, but it can work just as good IRL.

8

So you have trust issues. You know that, but why do you have trust issues? If I were in your position, I would probably try to figure out if I had any reason in reality. If I don’t I can conclude that it is just paranoia in the dream. To talk to your real life girlfriend about it may or may not be a good or bad idea. It depends. Maybe she will be insulted by it. It may almost feel like you are confronting her with it, but it is all you. You are the cause of it. And I imagine she would not feel good knowing she is not trusted. I might just be a slap in her face.
On the other hand, she might totally understand, or maybe she will feel better knowing you care enough to be jealous. That’s a call you’ll have to make ofcourse.
What you could do with the dreams is just to figure the whole thing out. Try talking to her in the dream, see if she can shed light on it! Or as a coping mechanism, when she’s cheating, beat the living crap out of the guy she’s with.

There are many theories about dreams, but the latest one I’ve heard about is that dreams are rehearsal for living. It makes sense. And it seems that you have a fear what she will cheat on you. That is not automatically mistrust, it could be a self preservation strategy. Prepare for the worst. If looked upon that way, it may be taken as a compliment if you tell her. That you are not afraid of monsters or floods or humiliation, but that she doesn’t love you.