What am i doing wrong? :(

hi guys… i’m hoping you can give me some friendly advice :sad:

anyway… the story goes like this. i’ve been trying to pursue LDs for quite a while, on and off, but i’ve started back up around two weeks ago, and going at it quite actively. and in this process, i’ve had one LD, but that was a week ago. i’ve tried like every trick in the book (is there a tutorial i haven’t yet read…?)… the only one that seemingly worked was MILD that one night, but… the strange thing - ever since then i’ve been doing pretty much exactly the same thing, but no results whatsoever :sad:
as many RC i do in the day - none of them even try to transfer to my dreams. trying to be lucid all the time or asking yourself what you were doing doesn’t seem to work either. also, it feels like i’ve started even going downhill - i stopped remembering any dreams at all! and i used to have good dream recall, maybe at least one a night, now - just blackness. usually i’ll wake up at 5, realise “today didn’t work either” and go back to sleep all sad… at first when i used to wake up at 5 like this, i tried WBTB or something similar, but it never worked. that technique is also bad for me cause i either can’t go to sleep or wake up with a massive headache.

anyway, it’s beginning to really bring me down. it’s like when i wake up every morning, it seems like it’s worse and worse, i get more devastated. nothing helps, i’ve seriously tried everything (and i wasn’t that devastated the first few tries after it worked). now it seems like it would have been better if i didn’t get that LD in the first place, cause now it just drives me insane :sad:

also, in the past… i’ve had like 4 more, but… they were all so random! like… i would have dropped LDs for 4 months, and then i’d just talk to my friend about them and tell him how awesome they are, and boom - short LD. other times though, i’d try all the techniques, motivation and everything - nothing. so it seems to me like no matter what i do, i don’t get to choose at all. LDs seem to come 5 times a year and when THEY chose it, it’s so weird. like no matter what i do, they won’t come when i want them to. because in the past they only happened when it was completely unrelated with RCs, MILDs, WILDs or anything else. the only move forward that i’ve made since those random dreams was that they used to always fade, and i’d wake up. last time i had an LD, it didn’t fade, but turns out my goal was too short, so after doing what i had planned it just became an ND in less than a minute.

now i know most of you experienced dreamers that are here didn’t start off easy either, probably. could you share some stories from your beginnings? like… so i wouldn’t feel like you’re all super-human LDing at will and i’m something like disabled :sad: it would really help if i knew what you guys struggled with.

also, any kind of advice is very welcome… if you have any thoughts, i would love to hear them, cause i’m all out of options here :sad::help:

sorry for the long rant. a big thank you to everyone who replies!! :aww:

Well, first I’ll say… Don’t get so devastated over not having one for a week. You’re luckier than some. :wink:

I learned about LDs or realized the name for them from a Reader’s Digest when I was probably 10 or 11. Back then, I just knew of dream journals and LDs. DILDs were it for me. No knowledge of RCs, MILD, WILD, anything. I kinda miss those pure DILD days. :dream:

Don’t try really hard, and stick with something that’s comfortable. Don’t go floating around with lots of techniques. That won’t teach your subconscious anything. Don’t let failure get you really down, and don’t think that it’s hard. Such thinking can affect you a lot more than you’d expect. I don’t even usually use a technique myself. I let them happen when they happen, and they happen a bit more often when I’m more interested in them, and then are more common with a dream journal, which I see you’re keeping more than I do.

I can understand you being upset over not having them and thinking you need to try every technique, but if you’re letting it affect you like that, it’s not helpful. Stick with what’s comfortable for you. For me, it’s usually a simple interest and intention to be lucid… and on the rarer occasion, another attempt at a DJ. Lucid living would be way too much effort for me… Maybe for yourself, just stick with MILD and intentions to remember your dreams and to become lucid and complete your goals. Even the best of us with amazing DR get dry spells. Work with what you have. If you don’t have something, you can’t use it. But if you have a small seed, you can plant that. It might not grow immediately, but it will one day. It all depends on the seed itself and the one who takes care of it. :content:

There’s no set formula. Do what works best for you, and it can take some time to find, and it may or may not work the same way every time. The brain’s funny like that.

Relax and work at a comfortable pace. The LDs will come, whether now or later!


yes, i guess you are right that i need to just stabilize and use one technique. maybe it needs one time?

unfortunately if i just ‘let it go with the flow’, i will have one LD in a year or basically never. my brain’s really weird… you know i never really LD’ed before i tried. as opposed to some people (i guess like you?) who did that naturally when they were young.

i keep a dream journal very neatly. i’ve kept one for, um… 4 or 5 years? dreams fascinated me before i even started to do LDs. but you know, now you made me think and i remembered one thing… 5 years back or so, my friend was trying LDs (that’s how i found out about them)… anyway, at that time i argued that i don’t want an LD because that would take the element of surprise out of my dreams, and i like my NDs the way they are. only recently i learned how awesome LDs can truly be (and that they still have the same amount of surprise!)… do you think… could it be that old way of thinking that i don’t want an LD still interfering? even though i want LDs now, but i spent like 4 years actively opposing it. dreams were my refuge, and i was so afraid to ‘ruin’ them, cause i felt like if i got an LD, i’d just sit there with nothing to do, having lost all the magic (obviously i had read nothing about LDs back then… just from what i had heard from my friend).

i guess what i mostly need now is to find a way to relax and still do the RCs and MILD or something like that, without expecting the dream to come, cause maybe i want it too much and that’s why i fail :meh:

anyway, thank you a lot for your story. much appreciated :smile:

Hey avalinah,

Your story sounds EXACTLY like mine, I’m not even joking! I’ve had only one lucid dream however and haven’t been able to induce one since.

Plus, just this past week my dream recall became horrible. I haven’t logged something useful since Saturday.

But however, I can tell you this: the lapse is only temporary. If your DR has been good in the past (mine became excellent about two weeks ago), it will be back. There are many empty entries in my DJ, of consecutive days where I did not remember a single dream. After my last empty entry, my dreams came back with twice the vividness. Now I haven’t remembered any since Saturday, hahaha, so it’s probably temporary, cause this has happened several times.

And thank you ZRVera, for your help. I’m having the same problem with LDs as avalinah. Nicely said! I realize now that I shouldn’t let it get to me if I don’t successfully LD. Thank you!

I have been having problems becoming Lucid as well. I have been interested in lucid dreaming for quite a while and i have also just started with all of the tricks and stuff. I have had a couple of times when i wake up in my dreams but then i immediately wake up.

Stressing out over LDing can actually cause you to not have them. Just keep calm about it; continue to actively use whatever techniques you wish, but don’t let it be an all-consuming obsession. If you have an LD, great! But don’t let yourself get too disappointed if you don’t.

Personally, the only techniques that really work for me (besides DILD, of course), are DEILD and this self-hypnosis technique that I came up with by accident. Basically I’ll lie flat on my back, as if attempting to WILD (which is what I was originally trying to do) until I feel my body grow numb. I could never actually get to SP from this state, but while lying there I’d mentally repeat phrases such as, “I will become lucid; I will remember to do a reality check; I will identify that I am in a dream state.” These were my first WILD attempts, but I’d get impatient and give up, going to sleep. However, every single time I did this, I’d end up having a DILD directly afterward.

Anyway, don’t let yourself get discouraged. Eventually, you’ll find something that works, as long as you keep at it persistently.

I had a cluster of about 3 LD’s in a month, a couple of years ago. I thought I was on my way to mastering The LD Technique That Will Work All Of The Time For Me, but now I haven’t had one since last October. It happens, I just have a short list of what I’d like to do the next time it does. As long as you don’t stress out or obsess so much that it’s just not worth a slightly richer dream life anymore, I wouldn’t say you’re necessarily doing anything wrong at all.

My last LD was 13 days ago right now which is more than usual for me. I’m not stressed about that. One LD in 2 weeks is more than many have so you should see it as progress. Try to enjoy NLD’s too. They are also fun!

Ah, might quote you on that! We seem to need that here, don’t we? avalinah, I think that is great advice. I used to get the slightest bit frustrated at first, having too many methods on my roster to try, getting confused as to which one to use when, trying to get it down technically (I think that was a huge mistake). Now I try a WILD variation each night, and if I just can’t be arsed then before sleeping, I tell myself to lucid dream that night. I like to re-word it. I go with whatever strange experiences I have, and try to build it from there. Maybe try some of that? Cheers and good luck buddy!

wow, you know what happened - the notification email for this thread somehow went into my spam folder! i can’t believe it, there’s so many replies, and i had forgotten it already :smile: thank you everyone! :bow:

i think most of you are right, stressing out about it actually caused me to have less LDs than just letting it go. i feel like i’ve made some progress now. the RCs are starting to set in an i’m doing them at least once a night… the problem now is that half the time i won’t believe it that it worked and keep on dreaming a ND :scream: that’s just ridiculous :gni:
however, i’ve been having LDs that last at least a second or dreams where i consider i’m dreaming much more often now. just two days ago, i had a dream where i checked and it worked, but it faded. the day after that, i had a 5-7 minute LD :spinning: it was rather freaky and not very well controlled (last entry in my DJ, if anyone’s interested), but it was an LD so i’m feeling more positive now :clown:

it’s just sometimes bad for us newbies to read experienced LDers DJs or talk to them on chat… how they say “i have no problems with LD it’s so easy”, and then they make us feel like we completely can’t do it. the thing is, most of those people have been having LDs since they were what, 5 years old? and they have so much experience compared to us who just started. also, others are just damn lucky :gni: they succeeded on their first try… it doesn’t happen to everyone though. some of us struggle very hard, but we only ever listen to the ones who had it easy or know how to do it now and that makes us feel bad about ourselves. we shouldn’t do that :shy:

by the way, to the ones having troubles like me - i’ve found that one thing works :grin: can’t say it works all the time, but it gave me at least one LD, so perhaps it works at least sometimes. maybe it can help you too. it’s probably just extended SC programming (like with MILD), but it’s a little bit over the top :clown: so what i did… well, the day before Easter we were at church, and it was soooo boring, 2 hours… and so whenever i caught my mind drifting while sitting there, i repeated to myself “i am going to have a lucid dream tonight”. i did that for a long time, at least an hour in large chunks. and guess what, i had my last LD that night :spinning: also i can say that RCs really do help, we just need time for them to set in.

perhaps this is new to my mind, so i think it might take some time until i become better at this, but i believe i will. i try to remind myself that other things didn’t happen in a day in my life either. for example, it took a few years to learn Japanese, so why am i expecting to learn to LD in a matter of weeks? :gni:

Congratulations on your progress :smile: Glad you found something that has worked for you. Being positive and expecting things to work is good, and don’t get upset when they don’t.

i don’t believe it has worked for me yet cause it’s completely unpredictable :clown: you know how they say “a crazy person is a person who does the same things over again and expects different results”… so this is the same but backwards, i do the same all the time but i get different results :rofl: i wish i could just find some tech that worked at least 50-70% of the time, then i’d know i’m doing something right xD but i believe i will get there :smile:

thanks for the support :content:

I have been LDing for 2 years and I can’t have one whenever I want to. I just do techniques every now and then and eventually I’ll have an LD. I don’t think many LDers have techniques with that high success rate.

well one per week sounds pretty damn good to me :wink:
but you know, a lot of people say they can LD at will.