After I read up on some lucid dreaming, I decided to keep a journal. However, due to lack of time (and energy) in the morning and my reluctancy to wake up at night I stopped after a while. I got two LDs out of this that both last about five seconds.’
But that’s not really the meat of the story :0
Okay, so I’m sure you’ve probably heard all the newbies saying they’re “too scared” or something, so sorry if this is an exercise in redundancy or something. Turns out after I stopped recording dreams I stopped LDing (understandable).
But you know, stuff happens, like reading up on disturbing medical conditions (ala Gulf War Syndrome, etc.). Probably the most unsettling things I’ve seen, ever. And since I’m not very good at disciplining my mind, I’m sure that I’d see these things vividly if I were to have an LD.
Recently though, my mind seems to understand this. Even less than five minutes asleep I’ll dream about doing some mundane thing, and they all take place in my room. For instance, I was reading a book under low light, and suddenly I thought “Hey why don’t I look away and then look back and see if it changes?” Lo and behold, the text changes, only instead of a great “Hey, I’m free!” feeling my body just seized up and I fell.
Sleep paralysis? Is that the definition or is it something different?
After I fell, I had about eighteen false awakenings, which pretty much consisted of “Get me the hell awake before something bad happens”. So yeah, now it seems my mind really doesn’t wanna lucid, even though I’ve mostly gotten over the aspects that scared me. So can anyone tell me what the heck is going on?
btw yo I’m new here
what are you scared of exactly ??? you mentioned reading up on gulf war syndrome, are you afraid that you will dream of being infected ??? or seeing other people infected ??? how would that image affect you ???
you said that you have a hard time disciplining your mind, perhaps this is something you should practice. do you play a team sport, perhaps take up martial arts (one of my personal favorites) if you can find a good instructor
i think you should take up some sorta activity that obligates you to be somewhere or do something. it’s hard to do that with lucid dreaming because nobody is asking “why weren’t you at practice yesterday” so maybe when you get disciplined at being where you’re supposed to be, you can discipline yourself at being where you want to be (ie lucid dreaming, if that is, in fact, where you want to be)
you were scared when you were lucid in your dream and had a series of false awakenings cause you were panicking trying to wake up, trying to get away from your fear. i think you were going in the wrong direction… there’s a quote from my favorite book called the tao te ching, i lent it to a friend so i can’t give you an exact quote, but i’ll try to reconstruct it from memory
… the master embraces death with his whole heart, that’s why he lives forever …
fear only grows when you run away from it. stop running, i know it’s scary but stop and face it. once you accept the possibility of failure, and aren’t moved by failure, there is absolutely nothing that can stop you from putting your best efforts toward succeeding. if you want to be a lucid dreamer, you’ve gotta accept the fact that things aren’t always going to go how you would like them to go, but once you accept that… once failure or fear won’t make you give up or send you running the other way… it is then that you can really begin to do something 