About four months ago, I began developing a panic disorder, characterized by persistent panic attacks (caused by my insomnia). After about two months of this, I started meditating again, rekindling my ties to my previous Buddhist practice and found specific ways to combat the actual attacks (if you have panic attacks, I’d love to talk to you about them, I don’t know how much I can help, but I’d like to try). After the panic attacks subsided, although they still occur when I get a hold of too much caffeine or I’m under a ton of stress, I developed a form of a dissociative disorder. I started to suffer from a combination of depersonalization and derealization, the best way I can explain this is that I constantly feel like I’m in a dream, or that reality has been replaced by something that appears exactly the same although with a subtle, but noticeable difference. I found out my brain began releasing chemicals during my panic attacks because it felt that I was being threatened by my immediate environment and to place me outside the harm as not to cause trauma, it triggered the DP and DR, well, like some panic attack victims the DP and DR continued and now this is something I deal with on a day-to-day basis. Its manageable, though can be very frustrating because it affects my memory and concentration, and can sometimes become frightening.
Now that you’ve become introduced to the case, the question is: can this affect my ability to LD?
I used to have panic attacks. They are the worst thing ever. The kind of thing you wouldn’t wish upon you worst enemy, if you had enemies. Although, they forced me to be more concerned with my health. The word Crisatunity comes to mind. They also got me off drugs, and I used that spare time to focus on LDing and meditation. Makes one think.
Anyway. I can see both a good opportunity with that unreality you experience and a bad consequence.
The opportunity is that you are constantly reminded to reflect on reality, and perhaps coaxed into doing more realitychecks.
The drawback is that this frequent experience IRL just gives your dreaming mind a new excuse if you ever start feeling like you migt be dreaming.
Being a positive guy I feel that the upside has more power in this case. It’s worth more.
Though these things are not really about your ABILITY to lucid dream, I think that remains the same.
Agreed with point that panic attacks are not something to wish upon your worst enemy, I believe I’ve said the same thing or something similar.
And, agreed, panic attacks got me off drugs. Sometimes, I believe thats why they originated because I first noticed them in association with pot and others, mainly pot.
I think the insomnia is a problem thats far worse (when it comes to LDing) than the other three. I think you are right.
Good post, good vibes.
Yeah insomnia sucks. Meditation helps for that. In fact, I listened to a deepak chopra thing about sleep. The trick is to not mind if you don’t fall asleep and meditate, trusting that it’ll be restful enough. That itself makes sleeping easier. Worrying about lost sleep is very bad for sleep.