Welcome to ld4all, plazzy! If you want to, you can introduce yourself to the community in this topic.
It seems you have to relax deeper. You can try working with relaxation techniques few times a day, like meditation - it will surely help. There was also a recent topic on WILD that has more info that could be useful.
And don’t mind your post - if you stick around long enough you’ll see many that far outreach yours both in size and crazyness! 