Is Hell expanding?

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by my wife during my senior
years that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since
Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more
souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven thereby proving
the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, my wife
kept shouting “Oh my God.”

P/S.-any responses?

I get this FWD in email for the last several years … it claimed it was a paper for school … and they guy got an A+ … but I dunno.

Where did you get this?

Someone sent this to me on the internet e-mail.

well, if our laws of physics apply in hell this might be a good argument.

This is the part I’ve never gotten. For everyone to go to hell, all the religions have to be correct about non-members going to hell. But the same religions say that if you’re a member you go to heaven. Why are the religions assumed correct about non-members going to hell and not correct about members going to heaven? Using the bizarre logic about mutually exclusive religions all being right, you could just as easily assume that all souls go to heaven unless they don’t belong to any of the religions.

I know it’s supposed to be a joke, but the logic disconnect has always struck me as odd.

I knew this one… but it’s a good one

I think the logic is that if we assume one is correct, then the majority of other people, people who don’t belong to that religon, are damned. For example, lets assume that there are only 3 religons, A, B, and C. 33% of everyone is an A-ist, another 33 is B-ist, and the final 33 is C-ist. Each religon states that if you’re not their religon, you’re going to hell. So lets pretend A is correct, that means the B-ists and C-ists are damned, 66% of the world. Same happens if B or C is correct. I don’t think the original author actually meant everyone going to hell, but a huge majority, especially when we factor how there are a huge amount of religons, not just 3.
Unless he’s actually saying that all religons are correct, but thats contradictary and stupid.

well it doesnt matter everyone has the same fate so if your christian agnostic atheist or wut ever we all going to die, and end in hell. Every religion is just wanting followers i think only the orthodox jews may be right,but maybe they are the ones wrong for “When the Jews return to Zion And a comet fills the sky. The Holy Roman Empire rises And you and I must die. From the eternal sea he rises. Creating armies on either shore
Turning man against his brother Till man exists no more.” but maybe i am wrong but i leave you to decide

Agent dont worry my latest info is that in hell they have now created soul compression tech 4.5

So the more souls the more auto compression is set from the over hell control panel!

Seems like it. He does say “we can project that all souls go to Hell.” Maybe that’s not what he meant though.

Well it seems to me that you are making an incorrect assumption that all the religions are different but when you look closely you will see that they all have their roots in Christian beliefs. It does not matter if they are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Protestant, Catholic etc. They may differ on how they practice or how they interpret their “gods” laws but, they are all referring to the same god. Just my opinion anyway. If you ask me. I say that they are all wrong.

There is no heaven. okay you just die and well you die hell is justa fairy tale to keep little kids scared and away from evil you know. or that is what i have figured any ways. And the jews are the problem they will bring the end of the world i seen it so yeah. and if heaven does exist south park was right it was reserved for the mormons (oh and im not mormon)

Hell is merely an illusion of a lost spirit who couldn’t find the light within…

In my eyes, the afterlife is similar to a lucid dream… whether it be a nightmare or pleasant experience is entirely up to you.

(at least these are my thoughts, I don’t really have a solid religion, but I take information from several)

In my opinion the afterlife makes sense and I pretty much agree with the poster above me: you get what you ‘ask’ for. This could be either heaven or hell or anything in between. I think the myth is that either of these conditions is ETERNAL. I don’t think any condition you can have within the frame of time/space can be ‘eternal’ as the very nature of phenomenon is to change.

First of, Shinta of Wu is either trying to be funny (not succeeding, use smilies to show your current state of mind) or an anti-semite. Does this forum accept that he walzes around spreading his not so tolerant thoughts?

Second,

Actually, christianity (both catholic and protestant) is a mix of several religions that all existed before christianity was major. To become major christianity strongly adapted itself to fit into the other religions better, so that the believers of theese religions could more easily be converted.

Christmastree, Pagan:
https://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_tree.htm

For some good reading (I just found this site):
https://www.litjournal.com/docs/fea_pagan.html

Oh, third: Good, but flawed joke.

ahhh emb i am not anti-semtic anymore and sorry if it seems i offended you in any way. i studied judaism after a while i was wondering wut my problem was. and once again sorry if i offended you

Okay, just wondering. I’m an atheist, but I still feel discomfort when (according to me) false accusements are thrown, from whomever, at whomever.

Good to hear that you chose to study judaism instead of blindly accusing it, I respect that. And no offence taken.

Unless Change is the very condition under which we function. The only Constant in the Universe is Change. Eternity is simply having each moment as new as the one that is currently leavng which is also currently arriving which is then leaving…ad infinum.

We often think that our world right now is Static and Unchanging. I mean, look at your keyboard, it’s not moving! It’s obviously unchanging. Yet when you feel it, it’s not ice cold because the particles are still vibrating movng and changing at a rate that is under (or over) our perception. It’s actually fluid, moving and ever-changing/decaying. This was a concept that is hard to wrap my head around but makes more sense than anything I knew before: nothing ever has been or will be “still”, including the “death” of this life, which the concept of “I” or “Self” (my personality/soul) will simply go along with the ever-changing Existance.

Very true! Spiritual ‘truths’, when forced into language, often come across as these kind of paradoxical-yet-logical statements (“the only constant is change”).
And you are also right about eternity. People expect that once they die they can live forever and be in eternity… the reply to which being “well where exactly do you think you are now?!”

Another good way to illustrate this on a different scale is to think of the earth’s orbit. So not only is the keyboard moving on the atomic level, it is also travelling through space at 12 and a half miles per second! It isnt still in any sense of the word.

YET… there is an illusion of some kind of stillness. The keyboard IS in front of me on the desk, it DOES look pretty still…
I think this kind of stability is what you get when you mix the changeless and the ever-changing. The fact that the universe is coherent suggests to me a very fine balancing act.

The me that I was last week is already ‘dead’. In fact, the me I was a second ago is already ‘dead’. If I try to locate this ‘me’ I can’t find it. And yet there SEEMS to be a continuous me, just as there SEEMS to be a continuous keyboard… I think it depends how deeply you look into these things and therefore how you define yourself.