I’m not sure where to place this topic but I’m just putting it in here.
I have been around here on this site for almost a year now and have just registered myself to this forum. So this is my first post 
This story is about my life, my religion (Islam), my family and the use of magic mushrooms and LSD. I’m describing myself in Islam, and my OBE and ego-death experience which made me quit Islam and think of myself instead of letting a holy book control my thoughts.
I want to share it with you guys, so I hope you’ll enjoy it.
Losing My Religion
I was born in the Middle East in a very religious family. I have followed Islam since I was a little kid, but suddenly I decided to quit the religion back when I was 17, even though it was a very big part of my life. I can’t really put words on what happened in my mind, I just felt myself as a slave for a God whose existence has never been proven to anyone.
My mother hired four imams (Muslim priests) just to make me change my mind and reconvert to Islam. She was afraid that I would make a big mess in my life and then regret it. That’s a very typical thought for a Muslim - for a Muslim there is no other reality than the reality which Islam gives you when you are being raised with the religion. Once you quit the religion your life will be complete nonsense, both in your own head and in the eyes of others.
My mother is a very religious woman and has a very personal relationship to Islam; therefore she just can’t understand my thoughts because she is isolated from the world’s reality by the reality of Islam. I still respect the religion even though I decided to quit it and denied all of its allegations and theories on God’s words and the human existence.
When I decided to quit the religion I realized that religion is an important thing in people’s lives. A religion is something that gives people hope and meaning. Your life won’t be meaningless any longer when you have joined a religion. It gives you answers on what is going to happen to you once you die, and at the same time it has a law that tells you how to act in the world if you want to be a part of heaven. It makes sense to many people, but it just didn’t make sense to me. To me it felt very absurd and ridiculous to know that if I didn’t follow the law of the religion, I actually was making my way directly to hell. I didn’t like the feeling that took over my body every time I did something wrong, which is stamped as reprehensible in the religion. I was always afraid because I knew that God was watching me and my actions 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I couldn’t have a private life; I couldn’t be completely alone in the world, and that annoyed me a lot.
I also realized that religion was a way to control a community in the same way as the government does today. 1400 years ago you couldn’t control a country in the same way as today, because no one possessed the authority and power to make people act exactly as you wanted them to. In this case religion was a very effective way to control people: One “God”, the creator of the universe, was watching all of us. He knew what we were doing, and he was going to judge all of us. The humans created an illusion of a powerful God, and the citizens believed in it. They believed that someone (e.g. Jesus, Mohammed, etc.) had talked to God, and that God told the person concerned that the people of the world had to follow a law. If they did so, they would get access to heaven - the most beautiful and peaceful place in the universe. Otherwise, they were going to be thrown into the warmest and most horrible place in the entire universe: Hell.
That frightened a huge part of the world, and people believed in it. Since then religions grew and got more powerful than ever before. They were very effective, and every single person in the world simply had to believe in it if he didn’t want to be killed and be judged by God when he died… which would be a horrible ever-lasting experience.
After I got these thoughts, I was suddenly able to see through the religious system. I told my mother and the imams about my thoughts, and they then told me that I was possessed by an evil spirit - by Satan himself. It was very hard for me not to believe in what they said to me, but I never gave up. They kept telling me that the worst thing I could do was to quit Islam, because that was something that God just didn’t want to see his own people do - that would make him judge me even harder than anyone else in the world. I was very afraid, and for about six months I was considering suicide, just to get away from the effective religious brain wash. But I couldn’t do that… I couldn’t get away from my fear of God, either while I was living or when I was dead. If I committed suicide I could be wrong and then meet God, who would torture me forever. I was forced to live and suffer because of my thoughts. There was absolutely nothing to do about it.
I had a friend who told me that magic mushrooms and acid (LSD) were drugs that were able to put me into a mystical and religious experience which could help me out with my thoughts. I read a lot about these drugs and tried them in small doses, just to sense the psychedelic world. Some months later I was thinking of consuming a huge dose of both drugs at once.
I consumed the huge doses. In the trip I met a good spirit and an evil spirit who talked to me about my life, my family and my religion. They killed me so my soul could be free and fly into the enormous universe. I died. My ego died. I got detached from my body and my senses. I was lying safely in my bed and couldn’t move, smell, see, hear or anything. My soul had left my ego and was set free. I didn’t know who I was or where I was. There was nothing called “me”, and I couldn’t stop the experience and say to myself that I had ingested big amounts of two very powerful psychedelic drugs. The experience was 100% real and was hard to deny.
The spirits took my soul with them into outer space where “I” (my soul) saw billions of stars. I also saw a circle that looked like a black crack in the universe. The spirits had taken my soul to the circle and wanted me to fly into it… they would stay outside and wait for me. And I did that.
In the circle I experienced an indescribable divinity, which you just can’t describe in words. All of a sudden, without being told by anyone, I knew that “God”, as we humans call him, wasn’t a judgmental God… “God” was pure energy. God was mystical divinity. God was the vitality of our lives and any living things among us. God was us. Nature was God, animals were Gods, Mother Earth was God, and the entire universe was God. It’s incredibly hard to explain, but this is what makes sense. This is what people had to understand in this world. But the divinity was removed from religions, where power and control are essentials; they are the motive power in Islam, Christianity and Judaism.
I gained clearness, and suddenly I could understand everything. I could understand and see how the religion affected me physically, and I could see the way out of this brainwash. After this experience, which lasted for about 2 hours, I got kicked out from the circle and back to the spirits. The spirits made some kind of a conclusion, and, before I ever noticed it, I was back into my own body again. I woke up, and I was still lying safely in my bed. The spirits disappeared and left me behind.
Today, after my amazing experience with the magic mushrooms and LSD, I have found myself. I don’t have to be addicted to a religion anymore and be in need for it just to get some meaning in my life and existence in this universe. Today, after the trip, my life makes much more sense than it did before, when Islam was an active part of my life.
In the end my mother gave up, and so did the imams. They told me that I was going to burn in hell forever and that I shall consider reconverting. I remained as strong as I was after my trip. Every time my religion and the imams annoyed me using the religion against me, I just led my thoughts in the lines of what the spirits told me. Every time I remembered that, the religion didn’t have any form of effect on me anymore.
The imams told my mother that I wanted freedom to do whatever I wanted to in this world without being punished by God. In the eyes of my mother and the priests, this was a totally wrong way to live out my life. But that was my decision, and no one could change it.
Today I believe in karma, in Gaia (Gaia = Mother Earth is “God”) and some kind of reincarnation. I believe that everything a person does has some kind of consequences. I also believe that Mother Earth and the other planets are the real Gods in this universe - they will judge everything that happens in the universe. This also means that I think there’s some kind of parallel universes to our universe - I don’t think we are alone at all.
And last but not least, after my experience with the psychedelics, I believe that our ego will be dissolved somehow when we die. That means that nobody can say “what will happen to me when I die”. There will not be any “me”, and therefore no one can be judged and punished - the punishment happens while alive. So I think that our soul, the “invisible” energy (invisible for humans, not animals and plants) that keeps us alive, will be mixed with other energies among us in this world. The energy can then be used for many things; for example to form a new soul to go into other living organisms in the universes.
This is what I believe in, and this is my own thoughts I have come to by dropping out of Islam and by getting such an amazing experience on psychedelics.
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