I learned some news about my family, from around 3 generations ago, someone committed suicide. I’m just curious as to how the forum views this controversial topic. You can look at any aspect, moral, political, spiritual, etc. Thanks.
Ben
Many people seem to say that people who commit suicide are taking the easy way out or are too weak to “live” for those people i can only assume that this is their way of feeling better about themselves - in that maybe they feel guilty for not seeing that there were problems and that saying “oh s/he was weak and had to take the easy road out” makes them feel better about it.
When the simple fact is suicide is one of the hardest things to do, as a suicidal & suicidally depressed person myself i can say without doubt suicide is a LOT harder than living.
The only people who would even find it remotely easy are those that genuinely have nothing to live for. In most cases the person thinks that they have nothing to live for be when it actually comes to doing it thoughts of family, friends all these things start running through your head and anyone with even the slightest bit of morality will have a hard time taking that last step (no pun intended)
There really is nothing “easy” about it, the illusions is that once it’s done it’s all over which in most cases is true. Unless you fail and end up a cripple instead - and don’t think thoughts like that don’t go through your head at the time the thoughts that things could be just that little bit worse. Suicide is one of the hardest things someone could ever attempt, anyone thinking it’s easy is delluding themselves.
I agree with you Dark Matter. Talking about suicide is easy, but actually doing it is much more difficult. Still, when you’re really on the verge of doing it, your thoughts are focused at that one goal. You’re no longer thinking about your family or friends. They’ve become so seemingly unimportant in the light of your own egocentric thoughts. This feeling can have a strong catalyzing effect, thus making it a bit easier to commit suicide.
However, I don’t think committing suicide is weak. When you’re going down in a spiral of depression and misery, it often takes years to build up the necessary tensions and negative thoughts before you’re getting mentally closer towards committing suicide. It’s incredibly hard to get out of this spiral without any help, and it’s equally hard to talk about it. People often don’t realize the complexity of the underlying processes which spark the suicidal behaviour.
But still, I think it’s wrong to choose this way (except maybe when you’re in truly extreme situations…) because there’s ALWAYS another way out. People who are about to kill themselves don’t realize this because their thoughts are filled with negativism. There’s no room anymore for positive thoughts, thoughts like hope, love or joy. And it’s a pitty they don’t talk about it before it’s too late. Talking would do a lót…
Suicide probably has also a lot to do with modern society. The standards are getting higher every year and it takes more and more stress and sacrifice to be able to adjust ourselves to current society. This results in a rise of depressions and suicides/suicidal attempts. But it’s not society which determines the course of our lives; instead, we’ll always be the ones in charge, no matter what course society takes. If people only realized this from time to time, there wouldn’t be so many suicides (there still would be ofcourse, because society is not the only reason why people want to commit suicide…)
Ben7 without judging someone who does i only can say that i feel sorry for the persons that do commit suicide 
I wished no one would be in such a possition that he/she feels so terrible that they go for such a deed!
But i can tell you something interesting here, a german science team a few years ago gave away autopsy info about the brains from ppl that had commited suicide and it showed that all suicide victems had 20% to 50% less serotonin receptors!
That means Ben7 that those ppl really has a big disadvantage in feeling well because serotonin is extremely important for a feeling of well beeling and not being depressive!
In fact this says that one day ppl can even be tested for this!
Jeff
The thought of being able to commit suicide is relaxing in a way. I like to chose to live here, not to get forced.
I see no moral problems such as “you are running away” “you don´t accomplish your tasks in this world” “you act against nature”.
The only ethical thing I´d think about before commiting suicide is how it´d affect the people who like me.
However, I´ve never seriously considered suicide until now, simply cause I don´t know what comes after death, and life isn´t that bad (I am still curious what will happen to me). Also I am curious what will happen after death, but that I will find out anyway, so why not live first?
Only reason would be if one days I feel that life is more of agony than joy, and that there isn´t much hope that it´ll change someday. Then I would commit suicide (at least theoretically, if I´d really do it the other question)
Tapir put my thoughts well enough.
I just highlight that only reason why i wouldnt do it would be my family and people who in many ways need me around.
I strongly believe in life after death so it would be no big deal for me to do it.Im actually more curious than scared
And if i ever judge anyone who tried to do it or done it,would be for its implications for living.But apart from that…its ones life to decide what to do with it.
Suicide is something people do when their life has become torture. They’re too tired to carry on and completely withdrawn. It’s not a selfish act as they’re suffering and can’t see any other way out. The last thing they want to do is hurt anyone.
It’s kind of reassuring to know that if things ever did get really bad for me, there’d be a way out. I can’t think of anything worse than living forever.
Science studies show that ppl that committed suicide have 20% to 50% less serotonin receptors!
So no wonder they feel bad about there lifes!
Jeff
I think it’s up to everyone to decide if they want to live. Perhaps we have some responsibility to take in life, but if everything is a horror, then you can’t stop anyone from taking their lives.
makes you wonder though how they go from being happy to killing themselves. I don’t think the amount of serotonin receptors makes a difference otherwise - theoretically - everyone with less would be jumping off bridges.
It’s just like saying Men masturbate more than women, it’s not neccessarily true it’s just less women are open about it than men.
No Dark Matter i dont think you cant say it aint a factor!
Thats differently of course then saying its the cause of the suicide!
But so many less serotonin receptors sure will make a differense and sure will be a factor. Serotonin sure plays an important role in accepting life and feeling trust and be open as a person. And 20 to 50% is not nothing.
Also it cant be an coincidense that this group all have that…and not just some!
So dont get me wrong, i didnt say its the cause, but an important factor is sure will be.
Jeff
I think that a big part of the problem is the lack of support that people with depression have. A lot of people who suffer with mental illness are forced to suffer alone. They loose the support of family and friends because they do not understand or are afraid. In the US people with mental illness are faced with further frustration by a fragmented mental health care system that can not even come close to addressing the needs of people. To add insult to injury the few people who may reach out for help dare not do so for fear of being locked into a hospital. An action which is often unnecessary and seldom helpful.
I think that by committing suicide a person may be cheating themselves out of a chance to burn off bad karma through suffering.
I think suicide is the most selfish act that someone can perform.
However, I also think that people that have died from the result of suicide are not their fully conscious self.
Someone respectable and very close to me shared a story many times. This person was living through a stressful time. One afternoon they were disturbed by their child’s voice asking “What are you doing with that gun? shooting birds?”
This person said they “snapped back into reality” and realized they were sitting on the ground with a gun in their lap. It was scary and disturbing for this person. They didn’t want to kill themself, but it seem like they lost self control during this very depressing period. This person credit their child with saving their life, and felt like they would be dead if they were not disturbed from that “trance.”
Thinking of people that I knew that commited suicide I reach the number 4. Wow! how surprising. What a disturbing personal statistic to have. That’s a high number, and brings with it a feeling of failure.
Guilt, shame, and the feeling of rejection are a few of the emotions left behind for the survivors. Everyone involved with that person are forced to live through a mixture of complicated emotions. Yes, suicide is a very unfair and selfish act.
Attending the funeral of a suicide victim is one of the most uncomfortable funerals to attend. There are few words of comfort.
2 of these vicims were close friends of mine. I’ll refrain from going into detail out of respect.
Oh geeze, I just remembered a 5th suicide victim. My “Spread the joy of Life” points are dropping!
When I was in high school a childhood friend that lived behind me shot himself in the head. We had not been close friends for many years and were almost strangers again. Apparently, that day he came straight home from school. He broke into his Dad’s gun cabinet and got a shotgun. He went into his bedroom and shot his head off just minutes after getting home.
No one in the neighborhood heard the gunshot go off. To refrain from detail someone found his mess and shortly afterwards his parents were informed. His mother went hysterical and pounded her hands bloody onto the gravel driveway. She screamed for what seemed like hours and was heard from a neighborhood away. His mess was so large that it actually was dripping through their wood floors and under the house. The family still live there, but his room required the whole floor to be replaced.
His mother was damaged mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. She rarely speaks and oftens sobs at anything that is a reminder of her son. She is visually a different person.
Suicide murders more than the suicide victim. It kills a certain amount of happiness and content from the loved ones. It seems to dim the light and life out of a person to have to live through this.
That’s a pretty disturbing story, DreamAddict. I totally agree with what you said about the “victim” hurting many others with his/her narrow-minded choice. Suicide, to me, is the easy way out. Being left behind to deal with that choice (someone close to you made) is the nightmare. My brother once struggled with this and the thought of it still haunts my mom. A word about chemicals–I agree with Jeff that it is more likely for people with imbalanced brains to be closer to making that decision. My dad and brother are bi-polar which can severely affect their moods and attitudes about life. It’s a struggle to deal with their ups and downs and can take a toll on me emotionally as well. I believe if people were more attuned to people in general, suicide would not be as common as it is. It isn’t too hard to see the signs that someone is close to taking the plunge. I guess if everybody wasn’t so caught up in their own affairs, the world would be a much better place. It doesn’t take much to turn somebody around. People have to know that someone cares about them to feel like they have a reason to live. And to finish off this awkward post, I’ll quote something my teacher loves to say to us first-time college students: “Remember, this too shall pass.”
A very topical and emotive subject. I think dreamaddict shows just how selfish this act can be.
In the past, I have felt suicidal and even gone through plans on how I was going to do it. Fortunately it never came to pass because I realised the consequences for my family - I knew it would break my mum’s heart and deeply affect those around me. Another thing that held me back was my religious beliefs that state that it is wrong to take any life.
I know how hard it can be battling the feelings inside of you. You get so low that sometimes it can seem like the only way out. I remember it only too well. It is especially hard when you feel that it is something which you can’t talk to anyone about. I kept bad feelings bottled up inside of me and these can do no end of damage.
Today I am so glad that I didn’t go with my feelings. I now have two beautiful children who never would have had life if I had done it. I believe that I am here to live my life until God wants me to move onto the next, and the more positive things I can do for people around me, the better.
When I was in middle school, I had that manic depression problem where I thought AND attempted of commiting suicide everyday. I had my family worried about me. I didn’t see a reason to live on, but everytime I tried to commit a suicide, I kept on having that flashback about my family and that there IS a hope for me somewhere out there. I kept on dropping what I was doing and sobbed for a while. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t do it, but that feeling was too conviencing and powerful for me to ignore it. Trust me, it wasn’t easy to do EITHER of them, commiting a suicide everyday or even to live on everyday. I was stuck between that.
But somehow I got out of that depression and it didn’t return at all, but from it, I learned not to judge anyone because in a way, commiting a suicide is a way to relieve them from pain, but at the same time… it could be other way. It really depends on that person’s reason to commit suicide.
But I think life is too precious to really commit a suicide for anyone, but sometimes you can’t blame them for their mental illness. Being depressed is a type of mental illness and you can’t really see other way like I didn’t when I was depressed. I thought life wasn’t worth to live for, but when I got out of that depressive problem out of blue… I realized that my life is worth to live for. When you’re in that hole, your thoughts aren’t as clear as it should be when you’re mentally health, so you can’t really blame that person for commiting a suicide.
The way I see commiting suicide:
- A way to escape the world/problems (bad way)
- Pain relieving for ill people (could be a good way)
That’s all I can think of at the moment, but I don’t judge anyone for that. No way. I have no idea what their mental state is like and their true reason for doing that. For me, commiting a suicide is bad way to escape, but it’s perfectly understandable for people who are suffering very much from physical problems or something. You know what I’m trying to say?
And also commiting a suicide not only affect you, but everybody in your family. It is a huge responsible to commit that and it’s not easy either. I’m thankful that it wasn’t easy because I wouldn’t be here today if it was.
My father, on the topic of suicide, is always quick to point out how selfish he sees the act. I’m going to be completely honest for a moment here - I disagree entirely. I don’t think anyone has an obligation to live through whatever torment they may be experiencing, just so their family and friends don’t have to deal with their departure. To me, it’s selfish to tell someone they have to stay alive just to keep you happy, disregarding the fact that they might be in serious, indescribable pain. It’s not always easy to convince them otherwise, and depending on their reasons, it may not even be possible.
Anyway, if it wasn’t so damn easy to get a gun in some countries, many thousands of spontaneous suicides would have been prevented. It requires a lot more dedication to cut your wrists than to shoot yourself in the head. For situational depression, the sheer convenience of a readied weapon could be the difference between death, and a hurtful night followed by a gradual recovery.
I understand what you explain DM7. I remember middle school (Jr. High School) was a difficult time for me and many of my friends. I think the hormonal changes, emotional growth, and social demands of people that age can really be tough.
Atheist, I think if someone has the mentality of being suicidal that they prepare the method before hand. I don’t think the laws of certain countries are to blame. It’s just the opportunities of the resources available. Of the people that I know that have commited suicide it was from all different techniques. Gunshot, pill overdose, hanging, and carbon monoxide from car exhaust. Anywhere on Earth a suicidal person can find a quick and convenient method. If someone has the true will to complete this act nothing will stop them.
Atheist, you said it’s not selfish. I totally disagree. This person is making a decision to benefit themselves, and not others. It’s totally full of self, and how that particular person/victim feels. It disreguards all others.
One suicide situation I’m aware of was of a man with money problems. He thought his kids would get insurance money, and left a note “I’m worth more dead than alive.” Little did he know that the insurance didn’t cover suicides. The family was stuck with a $10,000US funeral bill, and 2 kids without a dad. He might have thought we was being selfless, but he was just leaving the pain he had trouble living with behind for his children and wife. Very selfish. How could this man know how his wife and children truly felt about him? How could he contemplate the large foundation his life was for others? He thought of no one but himself and how to help his money troubles. Pure selfishness, and now the family is financially worse off than before.
Nobody ask people to stay alive to keep you happy? It’s expected that people support the people they care about. That’s what friends and family are for. Life requires the close bonds of other people. A person’s presence not only brings you happiness, but you require it for survival. Your existence is vital to the well being of another person. You murder others when you murder yourself. It’s selfish to drag others down with you! It’s selfish to disreguard the feelings of the people that care about you.
This is not about mercy killings or suicides of people with health problems. Healthy people commit suicide everyday. The “torment” is not cured when the suicide victim dies. It’s multiplies, grows and is passed on to several people to live with.
Any choice that is made to benefit only yourself is selfish. Period.
Ok. Each to their own.
There’s a very significant difference between selfishly doing something to help yourself out of greed, and desperately struggling to relieve a pain that you probably wouldn’t imagine. I haven’t experienced what drives a lot of people to kill themselves, but you can be damn sure I wouldn’t stray a throught from my attempts to end it. 
I completely understand your view, though.