LD’s have always been a quest to me. It was the Holy Grail that I was journeying toward, having to fight off a brute of a monster the whole way. This monster was, of course, my subconscious. The villan would do everything in its power to prevent me from becoming lucid, going so far as to send dream characters to distract me right as I was questioning reality or about to do an RC.
If you read my old posts, you’ll find various different times where I’ve stated that my SC hates me, and doesn’t want me to have freedom over my dreams. I took comfort in reading about other people with this problem; I knew that I wasn’t alone. In a sense, I’m writing this for everyone who feels/felt the way I did.
You see, my SC decided to screw everything up. Last night I had an LD in which I was sure I was not dreaming. I didn’t even feel the need for an RC, until a DC which I thought was my little cousin (looking back she looks nothing like her) asked me “just because you can feel it, does it mean that it’s real?” Bam! Lucid.
It didn’t hit me until later, but I didn’t fight for this LD. It was given to me. You see, I’ve always believed that all DC’s (other than those created for CALD) are controlled by our SC. Even if that’s not true, I am quite sure that the DC I spoke to last night was straight from my SC. It came to me in the form of a little girl and said the only thing I needed to hear.
Even right after the LD in question, I had another dream which induced SP. I’ve never been able to induce SP in my entire life. The HH threw me off, so I wasted my chance, but it leads to the same conclusion as my previous dream.
As I sit hear typing, the realization is both beautiful and humbling. This thing I have been fighting desperately against has been my friend the entire time. I feel… I don’t know. But I am certain my LD’s will come much easier now that I’m no longer antagonist against… well, myself.
And that’s the thing. Our SC is a part of us, as vital as our actual conscious mind. If we see it as the enemy, then we’re only seeing ourselves as such. There’s no way that can be healthy.
Anyway, I hope this helps out some of the others out there who also see their SC as the bad guy or as a road block. If you’ve has a similar experience, I’d love to hear it, and I’m sure that will only help the others as well.