Well, all I can tell here is a bad translation of a Russian joke… But I like it so much, though it is not very hilarious. Maybe, because I know from my experience, how realistic it is. I mean, I only dealt with ice-cream 
, but it must be pretty much the same, I believe…
So, a drug-addict man is sitting somewhere in the steppe. Suddenly he notices an old bottle on the ground not far from his feet. He has not many things to do this day, so he picks the bottle up. And, as he has not many things to do with the bottle, he opens it.
And here a genie comes out and says:
“Hey, man, you seem to be incredibly lucky, because I am a very powerful genie. I am the most powerful genie in the world, and I will fulfil any three wishes of you”.
“Can you do anything I want, really? Can you, for example, make a reefer?”
“Certainly, it is nothing to me. I am an extremely powerful genie!”
“Then make one… And one more for yourself”.
“Man, did you think enough? You only have three wishes, and you should not lose any one… Imagine, you can wish $100000, or a beautiful girl, or a car…”
“Are you going to fulfil wishes or to chatter? It’s my wish, do fulfil”
“All right, I’ll do it, just to limber up… But the next wish will be a real one, I hope”.
So, the genie made two reefers, they smoked them, sat there for a while… Then the genie says:
“Now, man, it’s time for you to say the second wish, and I hope you considered it longer then the first one”
“And can you do the same thing again?”
“Those stupid cigarettes again? Man, you have only two wishes left, but you can still order anything… A heap of gold and brilliants… A harem… A yacht… Why don’t you think over some more?”
“I told you my wish. I have such wishes, and it’s your job to perform them, whatever they were, so you must make two reefers when I tell you to!”
The genie fulfilled the second wish. They smoked… Some time passed… And the genie says:
“And now you must really think well, because the time to say your last wish came.”
“Well, two more reefers, will you?”
“Man!” — the genie yelled, fulfilling the third wish. — “I am several thousands years old, but I never met a fool like you. You had three wishes… You could be the richest man on the earth… You could have all the women in the world loving you… You could have everything! You could even live forever! I am the most powerful genie! And you, instead of all this, ordered that rubbish three_times!”
The genie finished smoking in silence and returned to his bottle, looking rather offended.
Some time passed, and the genie gets out of the bottle and says:
“Well, man, you might say one more wish as well…”
heres one, i hope its not offensive…
Why is a man smarter than a women when there having sex???
Because he’s plugged into the know-it-all!!!
what about gay jokes are they kool to post?
konnart, even though Im bisexuall, I feel that gay-jokes are oki. I mean, blonde jokes and so on are ok, why not gay-jokes? ^-^
Kool then, lets talk about them…
Two gays and two lesbians on a race from maine to florida in a car,
Who gets there first?
Answer: The two lesbo’s get there first because they do 69 all the way while the to gay guys are still at home packing there shit!!!
I tried to remember a funny joke without cussing… and did not succeed. 
Delete it if they are against the rules.
A man is walking in the park with his little son. Suddenly they see on the path two dogs, making new puppies, by all dogs’ habit. And the boy asks: “Dad, why are the doggies standing this way?”
The father thinks feverishly: “If I tell him, he will ask more questions… He is too young for all this…” 
So he says: “Well, this doggie, that is on the top, hurt his paw… And the second doggie is kind and agreed to help him to get home.”
No question follow, and they go on, the father happy that he won’t have to give a lecture on sexual culture here in the park, the son deep in thought. But, when they are already on their way home, the boys asks sadly: “Dad, and why are the kind always f%%%ed?”
A cowboy was encircled by Indians, and he had only one cartridge left. 
“Extremity”, he thinks, and his inner voice says: “No, cowboy, it’s not extremity yet… 
Shoot at the chief.”
The cowboy shot. The chief fell. And the inner voice says: “NOW it is extremity.”
In original, he used a much stronger word… No idea how to translate it… But even if I had, I might not place it here. Just trust me. 
Here’s something I’ve always loved.
Rum Cake Recipie
Ingredients: 1tsp sugar, 1 cup dried fruit, 1 tsp soda, 2 large eggs, lemon juice, 1 or 2 quarts rum, brown sugar, 1 cup butter, baking powder, and nuts
Before starting, sample the rum to check the quality. Good, isn’t it?
Now proceed. Select large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check rum again. It must be just right.
To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour one level cup of rum into glass and drink as fast as you can.
Repeat.
With electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one seaspoon of thurgar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure rum is still alright. Try another cup and open second quart if needed.
Add leggs, 2 cups fried druit, and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, pry loose with drewscriber.
Sample rum again, check for tonscistricity.
Next sift 3 cups pepper or salt. (really doesn’t matter)
Sample rum.
Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice.
Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.
Add one bablespoon of brown sugar - or whatever color you find.
Wix mell.
Grease oven.
Turn cake pan to 350 gregrees.
Pour mess into boven and ake.
Check rum again and bo to ged.
Hope you enjoyed. Happy holiday baking!
Classic. I never get tired of stuff like that.
Who Needs Expensive Alarm Clocks?
Buy a cat. Feed it every morning at 7:30 or whenever it is that you need to get up.
Then throw out your cheesey $8 alarm clock. Your cat will take its place handily. No more oversleeping-- your cat doesn’t have a snooze bar!
Your cat can’t be turned off. You can’t forget to set your cat the night before. Even if you leave your cat outside, it will pound on your window until you wake up.
Your cat has a series of alarm modes with gradually increasing signal intensity:
* soft mews
* insistent meows
* insistent meows three inches from your face
* pats on your cheek
* four heavy paws planted in your chest
* claws in your face
I though with was funny. Not sure if it’s entirely appropriate.
WARNING:Contains bad language… quite a lot actually
Do you know what happened to the blonde that was raking leaves?
She fell down from the tree!
Kids Next Door.
My collection of jokes… and my website too:
https://tehspiff.atspace.com/jokes.html
Also,
A man is in a theatre sprawled out on three seats, lying there motionless. The usher comes by and sees the man there, taking up three seats.
“Uh, sir? You can’t take up three seats like that.”
The man doesn’t say anything.
“Sir? Get up right now or I’ll get the manager.”
The man still doesn’t say anything, so the usher gets the manager.
The manager says, “Sir! get up right now or we’ll contact the police.”
The man STILL doesn’t move, so finally the police come. The policeman says, “Hello, son.”
“Hello”, says the man still sprawled out on three seats.
“What’s your name, son?” says the policeman.
“Sam”
“Where ya from Sam?”
“The balcony.”
That was funny jokes, BranMuffin.
Yay, finally. I was beginning to think everyone disliked them in exactly six ways.
a dog was very sad. a friend of his noticed, and asked him what was wrong.
" I don’t know," said the dog " i’ve just felt so depressed lately."
" why don’t you see a shrink?" asked his friend.
"Oh, i couldn’t do that, said the dog, “you see, i’m not allowed onthe couch.”
oooooo i got one.
So a woman goes to the doctor hoping to get a mole on her butt off. So the doctor tells the woman to tae her clothes off then to put her bottom on the window.
The woman does it and asks the doctor what that was for. The doctor shruggs and says nothing i was just angry at my neighbors.
Oh man i love that joke!!!
Hahahahaha. 
There are usually some fairly good jokes at ebaumsworld.com (they have an update every friday with 2-3 jokes along with funny videos and games). Most of them are slightly dirty though… Let’s see:
A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?” the man asked.
“No, I don’t gamble,” the homeless man said. “I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
“Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?” the man asked.
“What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?” exclaimed the homeless man.
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”
The homeless man was astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The man replied, “That’s okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who’s given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex.”
another:
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road at the same time. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, “Pig! ”The man immediately leans out his window and shouts back, “Bitch!” They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
Alright, this is from my friend weezerbr88
On Tuesday in Ms. Smith’s kindergarten class they were talking about careers that they would like to have when they older, and the small conversation developed into talking about what job the kid’s father’s had. So she asked around the room, and she got all of the normal answers; Fireman, Electronic, Garbageman, Ect.
So finally she gets to little Tommy, and she asks him “Tommy what does your dad do for a living?”
“Well, my dad works at a gay strip club where he takes off all of his clothes for money.”
Ms. Smith, who couldn’t beleive what Tommy had just said quickly made all of the kids get to work on coloring, then she brought tommy to a corner.
“Tommy, is that what your father really does” She asked him
“Well, no, I just didn’t want to embarass him…you see…He works for the Bush Administration.”
Classic.